


Family Ties

by lhzwrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, War, sirius is draco's father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2020-10-12 22:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 76,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhzwrites/pseuds/lhzwrites
Summary: They would underestimate him. The strongest person he'd ever known had been underestimated, and she was his mother in all but blood. He molded himself, played the part he'd been cast to play, while he waited for his chance. Then Sirius Black had escaped. Twisted canon. AU picking up at the start of DH. Cross posted from ffn





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I previously posted this work on ffn and have decided I'd like to start moving my works over here with minor revisions.

October 31, 1981 

_Amor Omnia Vincit_

Love conquers all. When Narcissa had been young she'd been instantly attached to the phrase. It had certainly seemed better than the Black family mantra “toujour purr.” Especially when there was nothing even remotely pure about her family, except for the blood that ran in their veins and even then that wasn't true. Not recently anyway. Dark magic was an infection, a corruption, that had polluted the ancient and noble house of Black. Though they were not the only ones. Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, Parkinson, Avery, on and on the old families had fallen victim to the alluring addiction to power and possibility. To darkness. 

_Sanctimonia Vincet Semper_

Purity would always conquer. That was the family she had married into. It made her want to howl with laughter. Purity hadn’t conquered a deranged half-blood maniac. No. It had failed them. 

Love. 

Love. She thought could conquer. Yet it hadn’t saved Lucius from continuing to dabble in dangerous affairs. It hadn’t saved the child in her belly from being born without a beating heart. But she couldn’t stop hoping and believing it would be true. Love had given her hope, while purity had cost her her family. Her sister, her cousins...struck as though a tapestry was the only thing that wove their lines together. 

It had cost Lucius a sister he no longer spoke of, and all she had done was marry for love. Married a man as pure as she was, but the only difference was that he was a traitor to his house and family, cut off and desolate. 

Sirius. 

Narcissa let out a weary sigh that rattled in her chest. She let her hands graze the fine wood of the crib that would no longer be needed. Her pregnancy had been a miracle. Lucius’s exposure to the Dark Arts had affected him more than he liked to admit. Though now, he had no choice but to accept that his dabblings and ambitions for greatness had likely cost him the ability to continue his line. 

Tears pooled in her eyes, though they did not fall. 

Had it been only a year since Cassiopeia had been born and buried? 

She felt as though it had been a decade. 

She fell in the rocking chair by the crib and clutched her stomach. No one had known of her daughter’s birth and death. She’d gone into partial hiding with news of her pregnancy, but now, nearly a year after the fact and she still felt no desire to return to society. 

A return meant explanations, and explanations meant that she would have to accept the reality that she would never, ever, be a mother. 

Her arms wrapped even tighter around her middle. 

She closed her eyes and leaned back into her chair, wondering if sleep would ever come back to her, when she felt the temperature in the room drop. 

Her eyes fluttered open, and she noticed the pooling light of a patronus fill the nursery. 

“Cissy. You have no reason to answer this plea, but if any part of you still remembers that we once called each other family, please. Please come.” 

She froze, stuck in the impossible notion that she had heard her cousin’s voice, let alone recognized it, after years of separation. 

“Please. Please come home.” 

Home. Home was a notion of her childhood. Home was a memory from when she’d been Narcissa Black. 

Perhaps it was her solitary ramblings and traitorous thoughts, more likely it was her loss of rationality from the nights of little to no sleep; either way Narcissa had made her decision. 

With her fingers wrapped tightly around her wand, she disapparated to number 12 Grimmauld Place. 

The house had seen better days. The shutters were falling, and the windows clouded. The white roses that had once grown at the entrance were wilted and rotting. Oh if her aunt could see this now. 

She stepped cautiously up to the door, her wand easily pointed in front of her. Before she could even knock on the door, it had swung open. 

Sirius. 

His eyes were wild, darting back and forth from her to the surrounding outside. His hair was windswept and dirtied, and his clothes were torn in multiple places. 

His wand was trained on her. 

“What…” he cleared his throat, “What happened to your cake on your 12th birthday?” 

“You and Regulus were playing with a Quaffle, and you decided chocolate mousse went quite well with Quidditch rubber.” 

The left corner of his mouth quirked up. “You have to admit, it was a memorable flavor.” 

She took a breath. 

“Your 17th birthday, you sent me a letter. What did it say?” she asked. 

“Blood is more than a face on a wall.” Siruis said hoarsely before taking her by the arm and dragging her quickly into the house. 

“Sirius what is going-” 

Her question was drowned out by a sharp cry from the floor above. 

“Bollocks.” Sirius muttered rushing up the steps. 

Narcissa frowned before heading up quickly after him. A door was swung open on the second floor, and she could hear Sirius cooing and soothing someone inside the room. She stepped closer, and when she reached the doorway, she nearly fainted at the sight. 

Sirius shot her a haphazard smirk. 

“Cissy.” he cleared his throat, adjusting the small body in his arms, “I’d like you to meet Draco, my son.” 

Her feet moved and without meaning to, her arms stretched out to take the bundle into her own grasp. 

Draco looked up at her curiously, and her heart pounded at the soft gray-blue eyes that met her own. 

“He’s beautiful Sirius.” she took a hand and combed through the soft strands of honey and white blonde. 

“I have no one else I can ask this of.” Sirius began pacing, his earlier panic roaring back into focus. 

“Sirius.” She shifted Draco in her arms. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m leaving Cissy.” 

She rocked her arms in an attempt to calm Draco back to sleep. When his eyes closed, she turned her attention back to her cousin. 

“What in Merlin are you talking about?”

Sirius’s expression darkened, and she caught, with dread, a familiar darkness in his own gray blue eyes. 

“I’m going after a traitor.” 

Oh yes. She knew those words too. Lucius had said them more times than once, and they were often accompanied by a slew of spells and the obituaries in the Prophet that owls dropped off the next morning. 

Lucius may have his vaults at his disposal, as well as his position, to protect him from scrutiny. Sirius, though, had nothing. 

“You can’t.” She said darkly, gently placing Draco back into his crib. 

“I can.” Sirius hissed, his temper flaring, “I told you before. Family is not a face on a wall, and tonight two members of my family were destroyed by someone we all considered family. I want justice.” 

“You want vengeance.” She interrupted, “Not justice. Sirius, think of your son. You leave now and succeed you may never see him again. You’re leaving him without a father when he’s already lost his mother.” 

“This is for my son.” 

“This is for you.” Narcissa said harshly. “Do you think Draco cares if you avenge your friends’ deaths? Think about him Sirius. If you’re gone, what happens to him?” 

“Please Cissy. Please take care of him.” He said. He stepped to the crib and reached down to gently run a finger down his son’s cheek. 

“What about Lucius? Sirius.” She grabbed him by the arm before he could move away from her. 

Sirius looked at her. She stopped for a moment to take in the new lines she’d barely registered from her earlier evaluation. He looked so resolved. He wouldn’t change his mind now.  
“He won’t turn away his own blood. After all, Draco is still his sister’s son.” Sirius said softly. 

She met his eyes. 

“Sirius. You’re making a mistake.” 

Sirius’s hands came up around hers untangling her grasp from his arm. 

“It’s my mistake to make.” 

He stepped away from her and fled the room. Draco, as though sensing his father’s disappearance, woke and promptly began to cry. 

“Hush love.” She murmured, picking Draco back up from his crib. She looked around the room, hopelessly, as though there were answers in the dark walls and furniture. Draco buried his face in her chest. “Oh gods.” she said tightening her hold on the tiny body in her arms. With one final look around the room, she disapparted. 

She landed back in the nursery with Draco still quiet in her arms. She waited for Lucius that night, sitting in the rocking chair. Back. Forth. Back. Forth. She rocked. Eventually Draco fell asleep against her breast. Still, she stayed seated in the chair. 

In the end, Lucius came with the Prophet. He paused in front of her and steeled his cool gaze on the bundle in her lap. 

“This is Draco.” She said meeting his eyes. Lucius said nothing, stepping closer until he could look directly at Draco’s face. For the first time since she’d known him, Lucius staggered as he took in the child’s features. 

“Hers.” He breathed looking up quickly at her. 

Narcissa nodded once. 

Something flashed in his molten eyes, and it stopped her lungs from filling with precious air. 

Wordlessly, he handed her the prophet. 

Sirius Black apprehended for murder of one Peter Pettigrew 

She dropped the paper quickly. “No. He didn’t…” She glanced up at Lucius’s face. 

His jaw clenched. “No.” He agreed, “I didn’t believe it either.” She stood abruptly minding Draco. 

She looked back at Lucius and narrowed her eyes. 

“You know he didn’t do it.” 

“I have conjecture, but I can’t use my knowledge of unregistered animagi and character to explain why one man is missing and the other is his supposed murderer.”

Lucius looked down at Draco. There was acceptance in his eyes as he spoke next. 

“He can’t be Draco Black.” 

Narcissa held him tighter against her. She must have failed in hiding her shock at his easy acceptance, because Lucius seemed to smile slightly in understanding. 

He sighed tiredly dropping to sit in the rocking chair she’d vacated. 

“But he can be Draco Malfoy.” Lucius said looking up at her and then dropping his gaze to Draco. 

“Draco Black Malfoy.” Narcissa whispered. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Draco became her son, and Lucius became his father. Though, it felt with every year that passed, Draco began to withdraw. He had questions. Merlin, how he had questions. Questions. Dreams. Things that Narcissa couldn’t begin to answer. Things she didn’t want to answer. 

How could she explain to a child that his father had left him and that he would likely never see him again? 

Like most things though, it seemed they were quite out of her control. 

Draco sat straight on the edge of her bed, clutching a book opened to a familiar photo. 

He looked up at her, with a strength that should not be present in a 10 year old. 

His gaze dropped back to the book in his hands, his fingers tracing faces she knew as well now as she did 10 years ago. 

She sat on the bed and took a corner of the book into her hands. 

She saw her cousin’s joyful face as he turned between his friends; the Hogwarts castle in the background. 

Draco traced the curves of his face, the ones that had always been less sharp than Lucius’s, that were mirrored on the man’s face in the photo. He let out a breath. 

“He’s my father, isn’t he?”


	2. Chapter I

Draco could honestly say, he didn’t remember being a child. Of course, there were those stolen moments of uninterrupted play and flying, most of which had been spent with Narcissa when Lucius had been away on business. 

For the most part; however, he’d always been different. He’d been raised to be cool, aloof, collected. Yet, for as long as he was aware of it, he’d ached for rebellion. It had started as little whispers of betrayal from his subconscious that told him that he didn’t quite belong here. It was why when he stumbled upon his mother’s alumni book and found the one photograph of her cousin Sirius Black that he finally understood. 

His mother, Narcissa that is, had always told him he was too perceptive, too smart, to be a mere child. 

He looked enough like Lucius, enough like Narcissa, to pass as their child.Yet, where Lucius was sharp and pointed, Draco was carved. His jaw filled and lessened the edges of his chin and his nose, while aristocratic, differed slightly from either one of his ‘parents’. The color of his eyes, though gray, contained far more blue and silver than could be found in Lucius’s. Then of course, there was his hair. Strands of platinum blended like paint with honeyed blonde, making it a shade or two darker than Lucius’s, though still not quite the shade of Narcissa’s blonde locks. Something that all of them had noted, and led to Lucius or Narcissa charming his hair completely platinum whenever they went out. (At least until he could do it himself)

In short, his own appearance had fueled the questions, he’d silently pondered for most of his young life. 

Then he’d seen the one and only photo his mother had forgotten to destroy of Sirius Black, and the world had seemed to finally snap into place. It was all there. Many of his features, minus his blonde coloring, were there in this other man. It had confirmed what he’d already known. The difference was now he had a name. 

And Salazar’s rod it was a dangerous name. 

Sirius Black, disowned and convicted member of what was once the most ancient and noble house of Black. 

Like a glutton for punishment, he’d dug deeper. 

When he came across an old photo of one Elena Malfoy, he’d nearly been sick. Her he remembered from the nights of terror filled dreams of a room burning and smoke clouding the insides of his lungs. Dreams, he realized, that were actually memories of the night Death Eaters had come and burned their house down. The night Elena Malfoy had desperately created a portkey to escape with her only child before she died from complications due to smoke inhalation and curses unknown not an hour afterward.   
Cheerful childhood to be sure. 

He’d made a decision that day. He wanted it over. Over for the mother he’d never known and the one who still lived in silent terror to this very day. 

So, he planned. He read. He practiced. And then, he decided what weapon would be the key to his eventual success. 

They would underestimate him. The strongest person he’d ever known had been underestimated, and she was his mother in all but blood. He molded himself, played the part he’d been cast to play, while he waited for his chance. 

Then Sirius Black had escaped.

It had sent the sky to fall at his feet and the sharp broken shards to nestle in his chest. 

For all that, he only received a letter. Meeting him, this ever elusive father he did not remember, didn’t come until the end of that eventful third year, months after his escape. 

He’d stood completely silent in one of many drawing rooms in number 12 Grimmauld Place staring at the lanky form of his father. Every indignation. Every protest. Every single thought he’d ever wanted to voice to this man had simply died on his tongue. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t say a single word. 

Sirius had been awe, staring at him, from his feet all the way up to the top of his head. He had opened his mouth several times before shutting it and clenching his jaw. He wanted to speak, to say anything, but he was as lost as Draco. 

He’d sighed and collided with a sofa dispelling years worth of dust at the motion. Draco had wrinkled his nose and stepped back to avoid the upheaval before speaking softly. “This place is a right dump, isn’t it?”

Sirius had cracked a grin and made some rubbish joke, and like that the tension was slightly dissolved. To be sure, it was still there threaded in between awkwardness and apprehension. Though, Sirius seemed to determined to ignore it and carry on. 

It had been an uneasy balance. He wanted to cling to his disappointment, to his hate, for Sirius and his abandonment, but seeing that gleam and clear happiness when his father looked at him was enough to make him significantly less hostile. So, he kept his visits brief and the conversation light. If he learned anything of actual use under Lucius, it had been the ability to get close to others without them getting close to you. 

Remus, a part of the package that was his father, was at least more understanding. He didn’t pretend that this reunion was ideal, and he didn’t sugarcoat his disappointment in his friend's behavior. Draco appreciated it. Honesty. It was refreshing after a life of constant lies. 

Well, a continued life of constant lies. 

His plan continued, but when he stood at the top of that tower, facing a man he’d been feeding intel for as long as he’d been able to, he faltered. 

He couldn’t do it. To be sure, it would have helped him, allowing him further access to Voldemort. His hands shook as he lowered his wand staring down his Headmaster. Doing this, falling into this endless cycle of revenge and anger, was like repeating the mistakes of those who’d came before him. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, allow himself to do it. He’d learned enough. He had enough to bring down evil incarnate without having to sacrifice this small bit of innocence he still possessed. 

Dumbledore knew it, and he’d given him a small encouraging smile. 

It had left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

He’d been about to vocalize it when the Death Eaters had swarmed the tower. Seconds after, Snape had done the deed, just like Narcissa and Dumbledore had begged of him, and he was being dragged away with the others to return to Malfoy Manor. 

He couldn’t abandon his mother. He’d done all of this with her in mind. So he let himself be whisked along, despite Snape’s near desperation to have him slip away. 

Instead, he had stood before Voldemort and taken being crucio-ed for the better part of an hour before a searing pain tore through his arm, and he collapsed. 

His life for Narcissa’s. 

He was ok with that. 

Through blurry vision, he made out two figures lingering around him. Then, his mouth was being forced open and a potion shoved down his throat. 

“You insolent child.” Snape had hissed in his ear. 

“Stop Severus. Stop. He may be only a boy, but he has never been a child.” Narcissa had said, pressing salty kisses all across his face as Snape halted his impending death. “I’m saying goodbye for now Dragon.” Her whispers still reaching him through his hazy daze. “Stay alive my love.”   
“Mum.” he croaked out reaching out blindly to her. 

Narcissa smiled kissing the insides of his wrists and then his palms before turning to Snape. With a single tilt of her head, Snape had gathered Draco up in his arms and spun them both to the front steps of the rather familiar number 12 Grimmauld Place. 

Sirius had a fit when he saw him. 

For three weeks, he hardly let him walk to the bathroom on his own. By the end of the first month, he’d felt suffocated. He left with a heavy glamour in place after one particular row and didn’t come back for a week. 

When he did return, he’d been hungry and lucky to still be standing after nights without sleep. He blamed the delirium for his breakdown in Sirius’s arms. He hadn’t just sobbed that night, he’d trembled, broken with the wreckage around him. Sirius had scooped him up and put him to bed and the next day greeted him with a plate of pancakes. 

He’d been here ever since. 

Though, with news that Grimmauld Place was about to gain three new occupants, he was seriously debating staying. 

He may be resigned to fighting with the Light in order to play out his little plan, but that didn’t mean he wanted to become roommates with Harry sodding Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the stage is set. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Note: I do not own Harry Potter.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione’s summer had been an exercise in hell. It had been one desperate move after another that had forced her to make choices she was certain nearly destroyed her. 

This was a descent into the darkness that was coming. Through it all, she’d ground her teeth and kept her head held high. 

_Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light._  
She had to believe they would endure, and to endure, she had to plan. __

_ __ _

Her parents had been her main concern. Their lives were quite literally in her hands, and however capable she was, she could not control for anything. When it came down to the final decision, she’d cried for hours. Even now, she wasn’t certain how she’d drawn upon the strength to cast the spell. All she knew was one minute the Grangers had existed and the next they were they were strangers ready to take an extended trip to Australia. 

Please forgive me for it, but it will keep you alive. 

That had been her single plea every day after the fact. Her friends, her family really, had supported her. Ron, especially, had been there for her. Yet, as they’d grown closer and even attempted to cross from best friends into more, she’d realized she couldn’t do it. 

The timing for one was atrocious. Though, feelings never really operated on a schedule. But even more than that was her immense sense of kinship, family. Like he filled the space of a brother and not a lover. 

They thought different. Moved different. Wanted entirely different things out of their lives. 

It had been awkward, but mercifully brief. At least, they’d both agreed on that part. 

Now though, she had bigger things to worry about than failed relationships and ghosts of her past decisions. She stood firmly behind Harry and Ron, who were paying rapt attention as Sirius ran down the list of renovations he’d recently done to Grimmauld Place. 

With Harry free from the Dursleys and the remnants of whatever protective magic had existed in that awful home, they’d all agreed to take up residence at Grimmauld Place. It was safe, strategic, and full of resources to exploit. 

And Harry wanted to remain close to the only father figure he’d ever truly known. Sirius Black. 

Said man was an enigma to her. His narrow escape from the veil, as well as the faraway look that often crossed his eyes, made her think there was more to him than she’d previously believed. 

She’d have time to put it all together now. They needed months more of research before she was even remotely comfortable with going after any leads on the horcruxes. 

So, she’d plan and observe.  
She had a talent for both. 

She shook her head and tried to focus on Sirius and his humorous anecdotes that involved he and Remus pranking one another as they went through floor by floor and redid the whole house.  
Try as she might, but she could not focus. Instead, she was continuously distracted by her thoughts and the distinct feeling of being watched. 

Her eyes drifted to the photos now decorating the mantle. One in particular drew her attention. It was of a woman with pale eyes and icy blonde hair that gleamed with honey in the sunlight. Her face was stretched into a wide grin that would grow into a full out laugh, where she would throw her head back as her whole body shook with the motion. She was breathtakingly beautiful. 

She felt eyes settle on her back, and when she half-turned she saw Sirius regarding the photo. 

“My wife.” he murmured. 

She blinked, and she heard Harry’s sharp intake of breath from behind them. 

“I didn’t know you were married.” she said softly. 

Sirius shook his head. “I was, for a short while at least.” he murmured. 

He turned and led them up the steps calling out that a few rooms on the second floor and all of the third floor were open for them to choose to stay in. Though, when Ron walked to the fifth room from the stairs, Sirius had stopped him. 

“It’s occupied.” he’d said tersely before continuing on with their tour of the house. 

For Hermione; though, the rest of the tour was as lackluster as the first half. Her mind kept drifting to the occupied room on the second floor and the sensation of being watched. 

Sirius didn’t mention their additional house guest, and all three of them were hesitant to ask. Harry; though, looked about ready to burst from the strain of all his questions by the time dinner came and went with still no sign of the fifth member of the house. 

In the end, the three of them clambered up to the third floor to bed without even a trace of this mystery guest. 

As she settled beneath her covers, Hermione couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps Sirius had finally lost it from being cooped up in this dank dark house. Her hands trailed the seams of the soft sheets. 

No. Not dank. At least not anymore. 

She smiled slightly to herself as she drifted off into dreams, determined to solve this complex riddle in the morning. 

The next time her eyes fluttered open, she noticed two things. One, the house was still quiet. Two, it was extremely early in the morning if the faint traces of light from her window were anything to go by. 

She swung her legs to dangle off the side of the bed and strained her ears to listen, hoping to catch a sound beside the creaks of the old house. She shook her head and stepped up to her feet and headed to the bathroom. There was at least one benefit to being up so early. She wouldn’t have to wrestle her way into the loo to complete her morning ritual. 

It wasn’t long after that that she made her way down the steps toward the kitchen in desperate need of some source of caffeine. As she neared the kitchen, she could her soft voices coming from inside the room. She paused, craning her neck to listen closer to the voices. 

The first was easily Sirius. It was the second voice that gave her pause. It sounded so painfully familiar. 

“Coffee?” Sirius asked. 

She made out faint grumbling. 

“Not yours. You can’t make a decent cup to save your life.” the other voice muttered. 

There was a sound of cabinets being opened and closed. 

“If that blasted house elf weren’t such a menace, I wouldn’t have to.” Sirius said. 

The other man snickered. “If you were nicer to him…”

“Don’t even start.” Sirius cut him off. 

Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. She silently agreed with the other voice. If Sirius was only polite to Kreacher, he might be more pleasant to be around. 

She edged closer to the kitchen door, hoping to catch a glimpse through the thin crack to the inside. 

“Have you told them...About me that is.” 

Sirius let out a breath. “Not exactly. They know about Lena though.” 

The other snorted. 

After a moment, the same man spoke again. 

“I should just go. It would be easier, and you…” 

“No -”

Hermione stiffened at the hand that rested on her back. She turned her neck and made out Harry’s bright green eyes. 

“What’s going on?” He mouthed. 

She shook her head and motioned for them both to keep listening. 

“You’re my -” 

“Stop. Someone’s here.” the other voice interrupted. 

“I don’t care.” Sirius grumbled, “They’re going to know eventually. You’re my son, and-” 

The door flew open and Harry and Hermione immediately scrambled to stand upright, blinking at the onslaught of light from the other room. 

When her vision adjusted, she let out a gasp at the same time Harry spat out his first words. 

“Malfoy.” 

Harry’s wand was out and trained on the boy in question. 

Only. He didn’t quite look like the Malfoy they knew. 

To be sure, he was still the same tall and lithe boy, but something about him… Her eyes trailed to his hair, a shade or so darker than she remembered, and down to his hands which were surprisingly empty. 

He was looking between her and Harry intently, and she was surprised to find only mild annoyance etched into his face. 

He turned then to Sirius, who was still somewhat shocked at their intrusion. So much so that he hadn’t even moved from his spot by the kitchen table. 

“I told you this was a fucking bad idea.” Draco said to Sirius, keeping his eyes trained on Harry’s wand. 

“What are you doing here Malfoy?” Harry spat. 

“Harry.” She grabbed his arm before he could lash out with the anger that was so clearly boiling beneath his skin. 

“What Potter,” Malfoy smirked, “Going to slice me up again?”

She turned sharply at Malfoy with an incredulous look on her face. Surely, he wasn’t actually taunting Harry, while he was unarmed. 

Sirius seemed to finally recover, because in seconds he had taken Draco by the shoulder and pushed him to stand slightly behind him. She didn’t miss the exasperated expression on his face before he turned to regard Harry and her. 

“Harry.” He said slowly, “Put your wand away.” 

Harry shook beside her. “No. No. He...He helped killed Dumbledore. He’s a Dea-” 

“Harry.” Sirius said sharply, “The wand.” 

She put her hand on Harry’s back and murmured for him to comply. All the while, she kept her gaze trained on Malfoy. His hands were clenched, but that seemed to be the only outward appearance of his ire. Though his eyes, she stopped, focusing on them. They seemed raging and dangerous beneath his mask of calm. 

She could feel it dipping into the air around them, thickening and nearly sparking. 

It gave her the distinct impression that Malfoy (or was it Black?) was in no way at a disadvantage, even if he wasn’t holding a wand. 

Harry dropped his hand, but kept his wand out in sight. 

“Why is he here?” 

Sirius let out a tired sigh. It made him look older somehow. 

“Draco,” he inclined his head at the blonde in question, “is my son.” 

The disbelieving and murderous expression returned to Harry’s face. 

“He can’t be. He’s a-”

“Call me a Death Eater one more time Potter, and I will cut out your tongue and feed it to my owl.” Draco said shoving passed Sirius. 

Hermione’s eyes drifted to his palms, and she gasped at the sparks shooting out from his hands. 

She stepped in front of Harry and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Let’s not do anything before we’ve heard the full story.” she said calmly, “I’m sure Sirius has a good reason to have kept this a secret.” 

She could practically feel Draco’s smirk on her back, but she let out a sigh of relief when the magic in the air seemed to recede. 

“Good.” Sirius said, relaxing slightly motioning for them to all take a seat around the table. Draco; though, stood rigidly by Sirius and made no move to join. 

“Draco.” Sirius admonished. 

Draco shot him a look before moving to exit the kitchen. Sirius turned to them, an apology clear on his face before he jumped to follow his son. The door hung open, leaving the majority of the conversation to easily be heard from either room. 

Sirius seemed to be arguing in vain with Draco. Hermione bit her lip, feeling slightly uncomfortable at eavesdropping on this particular conversation, but unable to stop. 

“Just sit down a minute, and I’ll explain-”

“I’m leaving. I should have left when you told me they’d be coming -” 

“Give me an hour to explain and I’ll -” 

Their voices were not shouts, but they weren’t necessarily trying to stay silent either. Harry seemed intrigued. Though his face was carefully blank, there was no mistaking the interest that gleamed in his eyes. She let out a breath, as their voices seemed to quiet. 

“Fine.” Draco said harshly, “One hour, but I’m still leaving the house. Don’t. They’ll listen better if I’m not there.” 

“Draco.” Sirius protested, but it was drowned out by the crack of an apparation. 

Sirius grumbled before stomping back into the kitchen his wand tapping furiously at his thigh. He let out a breath and in a moment his Patronus floated out from his wand. 

“Moony, he’s skived off again. Let me know if you find him in one of the usual spots.” He flicked his wand and his patronus scurried out of the room. 

He sighed, bringing a hand up to rub his face. “I swear he’s trying to kill me slowly.” 

They were all silent for a moment, before Hermione cleared her throat. 

Neither Sirius nor Harry seemed willing to break the silence, but her curiosity had been piqued. She wanted this story, and no doubt, when Harry calmed, he would want it too. 

“So Professor Lupin also knows about Mal-Draco.” Hermione corrected, assuming it would be best to address the boy in question by his first name rather than invite the debate over surnames into the equation. 

Sirius gave her a half smile before nodding. “Remus has always known. He was there when Draco was born.” 

Harry made a distressed noise, but otherwise made no move to speak. Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes before focusing on the next question on her list. 

“Why was he raised by the Malfoy’s?” she asked just as Harry chose then to finally join their conversation. 

“How could you not tell me?”

Sirius grimaced. “Harry I know you’re hurt and this may feel like a betrayal, but it was just safe for everyone that it was kept a secret. I’m not even sure Lucius knows that Draco is aware.”

“And where does Lucius,” Harry said sharply, “Think his precious son is?”

“Dead.” Sirius said flatly, “Draco’s death was faked after Dumbledore.” He grumbled something near the end of his sentence. 

She thought it sounded very much like ‘it very much could have been a real one’.

Harry’s anger deflated, just as Sirius slumped back into his chair. 

“After your parents,” Sirius’s voice broke. He took in a sharp breath before continuing, “I decided to go after that rat, and I knew things might not end well. Lena, Draco’s mother, was already...gone in a fire the year before, so I sent for Narcissa. I played on her emotions. I knew she wanted children and that bastard Malfoy wasn’t going to give her any, so I dropped Draco in her arms and went after Peter.” 

Harry was quiet, lost in thought. She was just as shocked, though her brain seemed to scream for her to ask more questions. 

“And Lucius took him in, just like that.” She said softly. 

Sirius straightened, a fire burning in his light eyes. 

“I don’t think Malfoy was thinking of me when he took in Draco.” he said bitterly. Before she could ask just what Sirius meant, he had already begun to speak. 

“My wife, Lena, before I married her...her name was Elena Malfoy.” 

She expected some kind of explosion. Some kind of reaction. Anything. 

Her heart drummed as she stole a glance at Harry. His face was eerily blank, and he took some time clearing his throat before he spoke. 

“You married one of them.” 

“Don’t say it Harry.” Sirius warned, “Lena was a good person, a committed Order member, and I was lucky that she agreed to marry me.” 

Her heart shattered at the way Sirius’s voice seemed to soften as he spoke of his dead wife, and admired how it never faltered. She couldn’t say she would have been the same had it all happened to her. 

Harry seemed to agree, because his anger seemed to finally dissipate at the soothing quality of Sirius’s words. He nodded in understanding, and Sirius visibly relaxed in his chair. 

“Did…” Harry cleared his throat, “Did Draco know before our third year?”

It wasn’t the clearest of questions, but they all seemed to understand it well enough. Sirius gave a swift nod. 

“Narcissa said he’s known even before that. Figured it out himself.” Sirius murmured, a hint of pride easily detected in his tone. 

“He still let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts.” Harry said harshly. 

She kicked Harry from beneath the table, but he didn’t seem the slightest bit deterred. 

Sirius grimaced. “Yes he did, but it’s not what you think. Yes, Draco let them in, and yes he wanted to join their ranks, but not because…” he sighed, “Draco has officially been a spy for the Order of the Phoenix since he was 13 years old, and before that he was sending information to Dumbledore whenever it seemed important.”

She felt a pounding in her chest as the wheels in her mind spun and spun  
This entire time, he’d been on their side. 

They’d fallen for it. The act he’d put up for them to watch. She didn’t know how to feel about it. What to think. It tilted the world the other way and left her unsteady. 

Yet, above all of this, somehow, her question seemed to pass from her lips unbidden. 

“Did they mark him?”

Sirius’s eyes darkened, and for a moment she was yanked into the raging despair circling him. Then, as though she’d imagined it, he’d hardened with fury like she’d never seen. 

“No, but they did do something.” he said, voice low, “He just won’t say what. Annoyingly private bugger.” 

Again she caught his pain, and before she could stop, Hermione had reached over the table to grasp one of Sirius’s hands in hers. She squeezed and shot him a thin smile. 

“At least now he’s safe with you.” 

He returned the gesture. 

“I know you both have had your fair share of fights with him, but you have to understand that he’s been playing a role his whole life. If you can see past it, he’s.” Sirius’s breath hitched, “he’s a good kid, incredibly bright.” 

He took his eyes from Hermione and drifted to gaze at his godson. 

“I’m not expecting miracles, or for you both to suddenly become friends, but I hope that, at least, we can all live here peacefully.” 

She held her breath as she watched Harry, who let his eyes drift between hers and Sirius. After a moment, he nodded and Sirius’s grin bursted forward. 

“Brilliant. Now, would any of you like some coffee?”

____________________________________________________________________________

Draco settled in the grass not far from the simple headstone in front of him. 

Elena Black née Malfoy 

_I love you simply, without problems or pride. _

He smiled slightly at the phrase. He hoped all this ancestors, on both sides of his family, were rolling in their graves over a muggle poet’s words on a stone for one of their own. 

He crossed his legs and leant back onto his hands.

When he’d first discovered his heritage, he’d searched for mention of this place for what had felt like days. After he found it, he hadn’t wanted to come. It was a strange thing, looking at the grave of a mother you never knew. He had questions, but every time he’d ever tried to come out and ask them, something had stood in the way. His memories of her, for one, had been a constant source of terror that had clawed at his subconscious. 

Fire.  
Smoke.  
Pain.  
Scars.

He still had them to this day, the way his lungs didn’t work just right or the little burns on his thighs that hadn’t healed properly after the incident. 

All he knew of his birth mother was death and terror, despite his inherent knowledge that she had loved him beyond belief. 

It didn’t make it easier. 

Yet, he’d still managed to come. He’d been angry the first time. In the haze of his emotions, he’d somehow ended up before her grave pouring out his frustrations. 

It was therapeutic, calming. Frankly, he was finding he needed that more and more. 

He let out a breath and focused once more on the stone headstone. 

“Hi.” He said softly. 

He bit his lip. He wasn’t sure how to begin, what to say. He hadn’t even thought before he’d apparated here.

He tried not to overthink it, and just let the words tumble out from his lips. 

“I haven’t been in a while, and I’m sorry for that.” he continued letting his eyes drop to the flowers charmed at the base of the grave. 

“Was he always this overbearing? I swear he goes mental if I even say I want to go out for ice cream.” he rolled his eyes upwards, thinking of Sirius. It seemed years of lost parenting had culminated into one overprotective and paranoid father.

He let out a breath. 

“I suppose I understand it though.” he leant forward, grazing his fingertips on the flower petals. 

“I just wish he would realize I’m not a child. I...I’ve already had a parent.” he murmured, “Not that she replaced you or anything, but...she’s my mum.” 

He swallowed roughly, his throat too tight and dry for his liking. 

He decided to change topics and focus on the one that had driven him here to seek refuge. 

“I don’t want to go back and have to listen to Potter slander either one of you.” 

He winced then at the flare of pain in his arm. He gingerly took a hand and began to massage at his skin, hoping to relieve some of the discomfort. He’d have to put more of the salve on when he got back. 

“I want to hate him for bringing Potter, for...for everything. I don’t know.” He trailed off, pulling his knees up and leaning his head to rest against them. 

“I want...well fuck I guess it doesn’t matter what I want. I want the war to be over and it’s just begun. I want Mum safe. I...I want to remember you on my own, even if all I have is memories of being burned.” 

He stood up abruptly. He hadn’t meant to spill everything out to a solitary grave when he’d apparated here. He’d wanted quiet not...he trembled, backing away slowly. He needed to get out of here before he did something even worse, like cry. 

“Wotcher Draco.”

He let out a breath and half turned to see his bubble gum pink haired cousin walking carefully over toward him. He glanced around then, looking for Remus. He’d learned by now that where one was, the other surely followed. 

“Nymphadora.” he said stiffly. 

She grimaced. “I told you it’s Tonks. Merlin, all your brains and you can’t remember one simple thing.” 

He shook his head, folding his arms and pressing them against his chest. 

“Don’t tell me he’s already sent out a search party.”

She playfully nudged him. “Considering the messes you’ve gotten yourself into, I’d be worried too.” 

“Hah.” He said, shaking his head. 

They fell into silence, both staring out at the headstone in front of them. For a moment, he wondered what Tonks saw as she looked at his mother’s grave. Did she remember her? Did she think him strange for coming to it? 

He bit the inside of his cheek. 

It didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. 

“You know he does care Draco. He -” 

“I was supposed to get one hour of peace, not a lecture.” he said sharply. 

“Rather odd to find peace in a graveyard though.” 

Tonks grinned brightly as she turned to greet Remus. Draco shook his head again and didn’t greet Remus until he stood beside him. 

“Yeah well, it’s not like the dead can kick up a fuss.” 

“Your grandmother’s portrait is proof of the contrary.” 

Unbidden, he felt his lips twist into a smirk that he quickly followed up with a scowl. 

“I’m of age now. I don’t need a babysitter let alone two.” he turned to eye both of them, telling them through his gaze to bugger off. 

Remus’s eyes were bright, but it was the only hint of his face that showed his amusement at Draco’s antics. 

“We’re not babysitting you Draco. We’re simply paying our respects. It’s not a crime, is it?”

He shook his head, and bit his lip from dishing out a rather scathing retort. Instead he focused on the grave before him, and before he realized it his hand had come up to the simple chain he kept around his neck. He traced the simple markings on the wedding band threaded through the chain. It was one of the few physical possessions he had of Lena’s. He sighed before tucking the chain back beneath his shirt. 

“Right. No need to get your knickers in a knot. I’m going back.” He gave them both a look, “The hour’s almost up anyway.” 

Without waiting for a response, he spun away and landed straight in his room at Grimmauld Place. 

He glanced around the room before sitting tiredly on the edge of the bed. It was quite a bit smaller than the room he’d had at the Manor, but not less decadent. With the rich wooden floors and furniture, he could easily see the similar pureblood aristocratic tastes reflected in both. 

He fell back on the bed, letting his legs dangle off the edge before he noticed the book he’d been reading still laying casually on the mattress. 

He took it into his hand and traced the cover. 

He’d charmed it of course. Wouldn’t do for anyone to know what exactly he’d been reading. 

He shook his head cracking open the book and flipping to where he’d left off. 

Destroying Products of Dark Magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes in the chapter by Milton and Naruda.  
Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter


	4. Chapter 4

Humans held an innate desire for the unknown. A problem had to be solved. A theory had to be proved. She’d personally always had a weakness for it. Her natural curiosity often prompted her to search and search until she solved the latest puzzle that had stumbled into her path. 

“It’s the unknown that draws people”, she’d once read, and Draco was most certainly unknown. 

Yet, like most mysterious things, he evaded her. For all the attention he’d sought in their youth, he seemed determined to make himself scarce. 

He’d be there for meals, for moments she might see him in the library, but most of the time she found no trace of him. 

She wondered if it was because he was as uncomfortable with their new living arrangements as the rest of them, if he was taking precautions that Harry may decide to retaliate for all the misdeeds that had occurred over the last year, or if he was, in fact, plotting to get himself out of this situation altogether. 

If she couldn’t get to the source, she’d get to those around him. Remus proved to be the best when it came to discussing Draco. He was objective. She’d asked him about his impression and his answer had shocked her as much as it had intrigued her. 

_He may in fact be too smart for his own good. The only way he lets you know something is if he wants you to know it to begin with. ___

__When she’d asked about his loyalties, his position, Remus had shot her a dark look. She was ashamed at herself for his obvious disappointment and displeasure at her suspicions, even now she felt it decorating her cheeks._ _

__

_ _ _Make no mistake Hermione. That boy has wanted Voldemort dead long before you were even aware he existed. If anything, he may already know how to do it. ___ _ _

_ _ _ _She had doubts about that, but she didn’t voice them to Remus. Though, long after the conversation had ended, she wondered if perhaps he was right. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _There was something about this Draco that set him apart. She’d seen it before; glimpses really, when they were back at Hogwarts. Moments that she’d stumble upon him in the library, the only other student who seemed to make a home between the shelves that stayed occupied right till curfew. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He’d never spoken ill of her then, when they were the only occupants besides Madame Pince. She’d thought it was because the library was neutral ground. For all his apparent nastiness outside amongst their peers, she knew he was intelligent with a respect for books and knowledge that rivaled her own. He wasn’t right behind her in marks for nothing. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Sometimes he was polite, asking for a book she’d taken before he could get to it or if she happened to know a good source for something or another. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _In fact, after or before fourth year, she had realized, he hardly spared her a second glance when he taunted Harry or Ron. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _All that anger to her two friends, but none for her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It left her mind spinning. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She stumbled into the room as she took in that she was not alone. Ironically, when she was not looking for him, she had found him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco stood examining the hanging tapestry intently. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _If he hadn’t straightened slightly at her intrusion, she would have thought he hadn’t noticed her at all. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The line changed.” He said softly, and it took her a second to realize he was in fact talking to her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The line?” She said, swallowing hard. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She caught his lips quirk up into a small smile before it disappeared, and he motioned for her to come closer. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She glanced at him oddly before turning her gaze at the tapestry. She followed his line of sight and realized what he’d been talking about. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _When she’d last seen his name on this family tree it had come from a line that started with the name Narcissa Black. Now, his name and face had shifted over to fall under a new name...Sirius Black. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She blinked. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Happened after Potter sliced me up.” He said, anticipating her question. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Even more puzzling was his lack of emotion as he continued to speak. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I was bleeding out, pretty much at Death’s door. It broke the enchantment.” He said shaking his head, “It’s how Sirius realized something had happened to me. You know he actually growled and threatened his way back into the school to see me?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Parents do remarkable things for their children.” she said. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Not always.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her blood ran cold. Two words spoken with such palpable bitterness. It was the first thing he’d said so far that held even a spark of emotion in it. She nearly hit herself as she realized why. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco had been abandoned. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Whatever Sirius’s reasons, they would never lessen the blow the action had caused. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“He’s trying now. We all can see it.” She said, unsure why she felt the need to both defend Sirius and comfort Draco, “He’s happy to have you here, despite the circumstances.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco half-turned his face away from the tapestry. There was a curious, though sincere look on his face that left his eyes looking a little too bright in the low light. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“And you think I should feel happy that he feels that way?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her heart hammered at the question. Truly, she didn’t know how to respond._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I can’t tell you how you should feel.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He nodded once. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yes well, I’m tired of listening to people tell me how and what I should be.” The left side of his mouth inched up, “I am claiming the right to be unhappy.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She blinked once. Then again. Had he quoted a book to her?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Brave New World.” She whispered, “A muggle book. You’ve read that?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco hummed in response, and turned to look her straight in the eye. He tilted his head to the side. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She got the strange impression he was disappointed in her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Of all people Granger, I thought at least you wouldn’t be one to underestimate me.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He turned and left her, staring dumbly at his name on the tapestry. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It took her a breath to turn on her heel and trot after him. She wanted to talk, argue, anything really. She needed to figure out this contradiction of a boy, who was really more of man now. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She stumbled out into the hall, but found no trace of him. It wasn’t until the low crack of an apparation that she realized he was gone. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She nearly stomped her foot in frustration. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _How could he do that? Travel outwards when he was assumed dead and in danger if he was found alive? _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It made him seem brave. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Or reckless._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She shook her head and let out a sigh. She’d leave it for now. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her feet took her up the steps, but she stopped right on the second floor landing. There was rustling and cursing coming from one of the rooms down the hall, and she knew for a fact it couldn’t be Draco. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Frowning, she stepped closer to the room and pushed the door of Draco’s bedroom open. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry and Ron had frozen as the door swung open, and both visibly relaxed seeing it was only her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She glanced around them to see drawers swung open and many of their contents spilled on the floor. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What are you two doing in here?” She hissed, shutting the door quickly behind her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Searching.” Harry said, a hint of guilt in his expression. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“For what?” she said, stepping closer. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Come on Mione.” Ron said then, “You can’t believe that the ferret actually has good intentions. Even if he does, I think all of us would feel more relaxed if we had proof.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Proof of innocence or of guilt?” She said harshly, flicking her wand to the drawers to right them. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Either.” Ron said, ignoring her in favor of examining the contents of the bedside table. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She balled her fists and spun toward Harry. “This is wrong Harry. You’re violating his privacy. You have no right accusing him of anything when he hasn’t spoken a single word to you since the first day we got here.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“And why do you think that is?” Harry jumped to his feet, “Why avoid me? He’s hiding something. I know it.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She folded her arms, “Did you ever think he was avoiding you simply because he doesn’t want to start a fight with you? At least one of you two is actually respecting Sirius’s wishes for peace.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _At that Harry dropped his gaze down, a truly guilty expression marring his features. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She let out a breath and was about to usher them all out of the room when she heard Ron let out a string of curses from behind her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“He’s got a bloody apothecary in here.” Ron muttered. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Unable to stop herself, Hermione moved to look over Ron’s shoulder at the contents of the drawer. True to Ron’s declaration the drawer was filled with potions. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her eyes scanned the vials. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Headaches.” She murmured looking over one row, “Nausea, Muscle relaxants, Allergy…” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She felt Harry press up close behind her to also look. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Why so many?” he muttered close to her ear. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Stockpiling them I suppose, but that combination.” Her brows furrowed. “Well, headaches, nausea, and muscle spasms are often aftereffects of….” she trailed off as her mouth went dry. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Aftereffects of torture. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She bit her tongue. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Sirius had implied that while Draco had been with the Death Eaters, his time had been anything but pleasant, but seeing proof of it made her stomach turn. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She stole a glance at Harry to find his face pale. He’d come to the same conclusion as she had. He swallowed roughly and opened his mouth to speak, when Ron once again interrupted them. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What the bloody hell is this?” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Ron turned, waving a small white object toward them. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She grabbed his outstretched hands and took the object into hers. She stared in confusion at the inhaler before realizing that Ron was still waiting for her answer. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It’s muggle medicine. Malfoy must have been to a muggle doctor to get it.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Medicine for what?” Ron said eyeing the object before taking it from her hands and returning it to the drawer._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It helps people with lung problems to breathe.” She stole a glance then to Harry, who seemed just as shocked as she was. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco had a small pharmacy in his room, complete with muggle medication. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Sirius said he had issues when he first got here. I’m sure they couldn’t take him to a normal Healer. Remus knows the muggle world pretty well, that’s probably how he got it.” Harry muttered. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She stole another glance at the open drawer and made out three more inhalers inside it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She didn’t contradict Harry, though it was clear from her inventory that Draco had an issue that was more than just a temporary problem. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her eyes widened as she recalled Sirius’s explanation of his wife’s death. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _In a fire. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She’d died in a fire. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Smoke inhalation was known to cause lasting damage based on how long the exposure. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Did that mean Draco had been there in the fire with his mother? It made sense. He’d have been so young, and developing lungs would damage quickly from the smoke. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She bit her lip, pulling both of the boys out of the room. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _While their actions had been a complete violation, She had learned more than expected from their brief interlude in Draco’s room. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _If anything, at least her boys didn’t think he had anything dark and dangerous hidden with him in the house. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Both were obviously reassuring thoughts. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ ________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco straightened his collar once more as he waited within the Leaky Cauldron. He resisted the urge to run a hand through his hair, and instead balled his fists and placed them firmly on his lap. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Fidgeting would draw attention to him, and he didn’t need that right now. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He sighed, looking down once more at his transfigured clothing before sparing a glance at the reflection of his glass. The glamour was holding as well. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He resisted the urge to snort. Of course it would hold. He’d had a lifetime of practice with them, didn’t he?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He watched the influx of patrons before casting his eyes downward. When the seat next to him slid out and was filled, he didn’t so much as raise a brow. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He let out a breath and took another shot from the glasses in front of him before he turned his head to greet the other. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Theodore Nott was a curious person. To any who’d ever seen him, they’d recall him as being very polite, withdrawn, and easy to attribute to the background of whatever scene he was a part of. A strength in their house. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He was tall, nearly Draco’s height, but where Draco’s features were striking, Theo possessed a more subtle aristocratic edge in his face. Olive skin. Green eyes. The females of Hogwarts had certainly appreciated his looks. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _There was only one strike to be had against him.  
Theo Nott was also the son of a Death Eater. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Oddly though, he held none of the prejudices of his father. A fact that had confused him so much, he’d been reluctant to grow close to him despite their childhood interactions. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Two things had eventually led to this rekindled friendship and trust in the other. One was the truth behind the former Lady Nott’s death. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Death by way of a cursed object was no pretty sight, and knowing the object had come into their house by way of his father’s “employer” was the first spark in Theo’s growing resentment of his father and family name. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The second. Well, Theo may be a Slytherin, but he was not as careful as Draco was in guarding his emotions. Catching him glancing at one half blood Tracey Davis, was enough for Draco to realize that Theo would do anything for the other girl. Bloodline be damned. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It had sealed it all. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“And they say the dead aren’t among the living.” Theo murmured in greeting before taking one of the glasses before them and downing it quickly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He smirked in response, leaning back in his chair. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Well, I’m not dead yet. Believe me, it was not for a lack of trying.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Theo grimaced, glancing him over as though checking for remnants of the tortures of that night. No doubt he’d heard accounts of it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco hid the scars of it well. Calming draughts for the shakes and tremors and silencing charms for the dreams. He’d endure. He’d come too far to be destroyed by such things, no matter how disastrous._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _After a moment, Theo gave him a slight nod, and the matter was considered dropped between them. He felt something spark in his chest at Theo’s obvious concern. It was a validation. He’d chosen his friendships well. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“How…” He swallowed roughly, “How is everyone?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Theo let out a breath. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Your mum’s alright. You’d never guess anything from the look of her.” Theo cracked a thin smile, “She does miss you though. It’s in her eyes.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco let his eyes drop to his shoes as he nodded in acknowledgement. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Pansy’s devastated, but she’s keeping herself busy to avoid really thinking about it. Though, I wouldn’t be surprised if you hear about a new shrine erected in your honor. She’s hoarding your things.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He cracked a smirk at that. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“She’s always been a bit over the top.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Theo shook his head. “It’s like losing a brother, a piece of family. It wasn’t easy, even for me, and I knew you weren’t six feet under.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His hackles rose at the genuine sentiment, and he was overcome with the desire to announce there was still time for all that to change. As quickly as the urge came, he swallowed the defense bitterly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Let’s hope we end this soon.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Theo gave him a curt nod before drawing a small drawstring pouch from his pocket and passing it to him. He stowed it in his own pockets without a second’s pause. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Still can’t believe you left me to hold on to that.” Theo said taking another shot. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco shrugged and mimicked the motion. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You knew how to handle it, and...what’s that saying hide your treasures in plain sight or some rubbish.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Theo noticeably shivered then. “Treasure. Hah. If I never see that thing again, it will be too soon.” He cast his green eyes up to meet Draco’s. “So you still think there’s something in the castle?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He nodded. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Ravenclaw is my bet. Gryffindor was too well documented. Hufflepuff I already know. It could be Slytherin, but the fact that most accounts of his artifacts are dubious at best and, “ He patted the pouch now in his pocket, “Well that leaves Ravenclaw.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We’ll be looking then.” Theo said standing slowly. “Next time’ll be Blaise.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco nodded, and Theo flashed him a weak smile. “Take care then mate.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Same.” Draco murmured before heading from the bar up the steps to rooms that lay on the next floor. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He still had one more meeting for today and then he’d return to the suffocating prison that was his new home. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It wasn’t as though he could blame it on some specific event. It was the entire atmosphere. The tension was just waiting to be lit aflame.. It’s why he avoided the trio whenever he could.  
Yet, he couldn’t escape them. Their mark was everywhere. The extra brooms, the plates in the sink, the way the books had been taken and re-shelved in the library. No. There was no way he could completely erase their existence. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Wasn’t it enough that his entire life had been shaped by Potter and his continued existence? And Weasley… Well, he may not give a single fuck if people like Granger bled purple, but the Weasleys were traitors to him and it was driving him mad how Sirius wouldn’t acknowledge it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _How he could let the red-headed weasel into his house, knowing what his family had done to Lena was beyond him. But then Sirius hadn’t been there to watch her burn. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He closed his eyes, resting his head on the door of the room he’d rented for the day. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Then there was Granger, and really, he had no issues with the girl. He respected her intelligence even if her attitude made her more than a little overbearing. Truly, her only faults lay in the company she kept and her great ignorance on many things in their world. The later he couldn’t hold against her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He thought about their impromptu meeting by the tapestry. She was curious about him. He could tell as much, but that in and of itself was a dangerous thing. He didn’t have time to indulge her interests, no matter how fascinating her reactions were. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He ignored the throbbing pain in his forearm before he pressed the door open, and promptly shut it behind him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _No. He didn’t have much time at all. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He wasn’t shocked that the room was already occupied. His meeting with Theo was meant to be short. Though his visitor hardly seemed annoyed at his near tardiness. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Then again Snape had always been more than a little indulgent with him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His godfather racked his eyes over him. Like Theo, he could tell he was looking for signs of that night. When Snape’s appraisal was complete, he met him eye to eye. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I can’t imagine your father would be pleased knowing you’re here.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Without even stopping to think, he answered._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Which one?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _If he hadn’t known to look for it, he would have missed Snape’s thin smirk and slight gleam in his eyes that clued him in on his amusement at Draco’s antics. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Both I imagine.” Snape replied. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco shrugged, showing his opinion on that matter before dropping to sit on one of the free chairs in the room. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I think I’ve figured out how to destroy them.” He said folding his arms and leaning into the chair. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Snape raised a brow and motioned for him to continue. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It has to do with intent. The magic can sense your desire to destroy it so it retaliates. You need something that destroys simply for the sake of destruction.” he took a breath, “I need the sword.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Again Snape’s brow rose. “Oh?” he said. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It wasn’t meant to be demeaning. He knew his godfather well enough to know that he required the logic behind a request before he complied. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The diary was stabbed by a Basilisk fang, and basilisk venom kills regardless of identity or intent. By all accounts the sword was used to slay the snake, and being goblin made it adapted the power of the venom.” He let out another breath, “So it’s either the sword or fiendfyre, and you know how I feel about that.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Snape gave him a long look before letting out a breath. “I don’t have the sword.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“But you can get it.” He rose from his seat, “They’re making you Headmaster, aren’t they?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Snape nodded. “But I’ll be watched. They’re not sending me alone.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Who?” His eyes narrowed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _A look of disgust marred Snape’s features as he replied, “The Carrows.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Fuck” he muttered closing his eyes, “The others will need to… maybe supplies in the shack.” He muttered to himself, drawing up rudimentary plans before he blinked to look at Snape. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“A distraction maybe and if needed you could pass it to Zabini or Nott. They can get it to me.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Before Snape could speak, he continued, “And if not I’ll come and get it.” He said. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He would have said more if he wasn’t overwhelmed by another shot of pain that had his body begging to tremble from the force of it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He blinked away the blurriness as he forced himself to remain upright. Based on Snape’s inquisitive gaze, he wasn’t doing too well a job. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Snape nodded, still eyeing him warily. “I’ll see what I can manage.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco inclined his head in understanding before he fell back into his chair. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Is there anything else you need?” Snape asked. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The usual potions and supplies, and…” He cleared his throat, “and that potion for my lungs.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Snape gave him a sharp look. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He let out a tired sigh. “The muggle medicine Remus got me is well and good, but it’s not as effective or as potent. If it’s too much trouble, the ingredients will be enough. Brewing might be a good thing to take up in my spare time.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Snape let out a long sigh before nodding again, and he was struck by how much his godfather had seemed to age in the short months he hadn’t seen him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’ll have it sent to you as soon as possible.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Before he could voice his thanks, Snape had turned and with a bellow of his robes he disappeared from the room. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He shook his head in astonishment before he leant back into the chair. He didn’t feel quite safe apparating yet and frankly he was so tired. His eyes closed his eyes. He’d just wait for the dizziness and pain to pass. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ ________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What do you mean he left hours ago?” Sirius all but shouted at the house elf before him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Hermione winced, and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Remus do the same. It had been a good 5 hours since anyone in the house had seen Draco, and in familiar fashion Sirius had all but lost it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It was awful that her understanding for his hysteria came from their earlier snooping. If all those potions were for treating side effects from a prolonged Cruciatus, then it explained Sirius’s near hysteria at Draco’s excursions. Each departure was hardly guaranteed a return and to fall back into the other side’s hands… _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She wouldn’t wish that on anyone._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Though, if anyone had asked her, Draco seemed more than well equipped to handle himself. He’d gotten this far hadn’t he?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She knew better; though, than to bring that up to Sirius. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kreacher continued to blankly stare up at Sirius with a near bored expression on his face.  
“Master Draco asked Kreacher to takes him. And he asked Kreacher to make dinner for Master Sirius and his guests.” Kreacher said spitting the last words as he glared at each of them in turn. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Where did you take him?” Sirius said, his temper boiling, “Answer me.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Kreacher serves the head of the House of Black. Master Draco be the head.” Kreacher said stubbornly, cleverly avoiding Sirius’s demand. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco was the head.  
That was a very interesting thought. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It was possible, she supposed. Narcissa would have had to initiate him into the position, but that could easily be done. It was actually a clever move, granting Draco full access to the resources of his house, and the ability to force secrets to be kept. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It made Hermione curious about what other moves he’d made. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Kreacher, could you at least tell us when Draco will be back?” She asked then, shooting Remus a look to watch Sirius. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“He says by dinner.” Kreacher said without a hint of venom in his voice, but a clear look of disdain on his face. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I swear I’m setting up Anti-Apparation wards the moment he gets back.” Sirius growled. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ Remus shook his head, taking Sirius by the arm out of the kitchen and towards the Floo room, muttering plications and how he couldn’t reasonably trap his of age child within the house. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She let out a breath and stared at the other two occupants. Harry’s brows were furrowed in concentration. Ron simply looked annoyed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Even when he’s not fucking here, he kicks up a fuss.” Ron muttered before turning to look between them, “Where do you reckon he’s gone?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry grunted before turning to both of them. “I don’t fucking care, but if he’s not back soon Sirius is going to have an aneurysm.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She let out a breath before standing and flicking the fire under the kettle to life. She needed something to do to occupy her time, and tea seemed a good task as any._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She poured cups for both Harry and Ron as she remained standing, sipping her tea while leaning on a counter. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She was curious though. Where would he go? For someone meant to be dead, he was more active than most of the living. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It was hard to say how long they stayed within the kitchen, but it must have been an hour at least before a soft crack signaled an apparation. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _A moment later, the door to the kitchen opened and Draco walked in. He paused, slightly shocked to see them congregated around him before he shrugged it off and began looking through the kitchen in search of something. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She frowned and at her periphery she noticed Harry doing the same. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _In the end, it was Ron who asked the question they were all thinking. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Where were you ferret?” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco turned an apple in hand and a glass of water in the other. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His brow rose. “What, worried about me weasel?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No, but Sirius was.” Harry interjected. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _At that, Draco frowned, putting his acquisitions on the counter behind him before folding his arms. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Was he? I wasn’t even gone that long.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry was seething at Draco’s nonchalant attitude. She moved closer, ready to intervene at a moment’s notice. If the past taught her anything, these two could and would go at it if provoked. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Do you even care?” Harry ground out between clenched teeth. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “Would you rather be his son? Try it out and tell me how it fucking feels.” Draco sneered._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry blinked in surprise, and would have retaliated if Draco didn’t continue on; intent on fully expressing his anger. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Bloody fuck don’t you ever get tired of waving around your flag of self righteousness. You’re just constantly fucking taking things from others; their time, their sanity...their lives.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry paled, seemingly unable to retort even as Draco opened his mouth ready to continue. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The door swung open again, cutting off whatever other scathing remark Draco had no doubt been prepared to say. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Remus and Sirius tumbled in and at once the shouting seemed to resume. Sirius had defaulted to anger and disappointment to express his worry and displeasure at his son’s disappearance. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The entire time, her gaze stayed on Draco, who seemed torn in how to respond. Yet, when Sirius implied he hadn’t a care for his safety or for any of them, something seemed to snap in Draco._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You have no right. No fucking right to accuse me of any of that. You know why I’m here, and I am committed -” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“- I don’t know anything. I’m trying to understand. I am, and I’ve been more than patient with your ridiculous need for privacy.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m of age -” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Just talk to me. I haven’t said anything, but I think I should know just why there are silencing charms on your door every night or why you insist on going out on these dangerous excursions. Communicate with me. I don’t understand what’s so hard about that.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco froze, and all the occupants in the room shifted at the change in the atmosphere. She could feel the air physically growing hot and thick, nearly cracking. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Like thunder.  
Like a storm. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco’s face had gone blank, but his fists were balled so tight they left his knuckles white. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I had one father who cared about power and another one who cared about revenge, is it any wonder I’m a bit fucked up.” Draco said lowly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It wasn’t vengeance.” Sirius ground out. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I don’t care what the fuck you think it was.” Draco continued, “You left, and when you had a chance to get away you didn’t even come for me. You went to finish the revenge you never got, and even then you didn’t even think of me, did you? You went to Potter. My own fucking father went to Potter. Don’t pretend to care about me. You never did.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry had fallen back into his chair at the declaration. Even Ron looked slightly pale at the force behind each of Draco’s statements._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You keep accusing me of having no regard for safety, when you were never there to ensure it for anyone else. You weren’t there when the fire started, and you weren’t there to see Lena take her last breath. And yet, you still let him,” Here Draco pointed at Ron, “into our house when it was his uncles that gave up our location to begin with.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Both Sirius and Draco were trembling now. Sirius from the pain and sadness so clear in every fiber in his being, and Draco for his absolute fury. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His breath was coming in short gasps, each laced with a wheeze. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Draco…” Sirius began right as the other began to cough. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco staggered, clutching his left arm to his chest with his right. After a moment, he seemed to catch his breath, and he lifted his head to glare at each of them in turn. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m not going to apologize for keeping my secrets instead of trusting them to the father who abandoned me, three ignorant and ill-prepared children who have been manipulated for years by one senile and meddlesome man, and a bunch of members of an organization who have proven over and over that they will betray their own.” Draco said, pushing passed Sirius, who seemed to have gone into a mild shock at the vehemence in which Draco had argued with him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She couldn’t blame him. She was just as stunned. She’d never ever seen Draco pour out such intense emotions. In fact, she’d never really thought him capable of such strong feelings. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _No. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _That was a lie. She’d seen it. Buried and desperately hidden within his eyes, but never vocalized. This was the first time she’d ever borne witness to it, and it had shaken her somewhere deep inside. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _These were the ravings of an incredibly complex person. Someone deep. Someone nearly broken. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It left her confused and slightly awed. It was like she’d learned more about Draco in this one day than she had in the near 2 months she’d been at Grimmauld Place or the near 7 years she’d known him at Hogwarts. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She watched Sirius snap into attention and clamber out after Draco, leaving the rest of them unsure what to do. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She heard a crash in the other room and in seconds Sirius was shouting for Remus. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She couldn’t explain it, what force propelled her forward toward the sound of Sirius’s frantic shouts. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _But she did go. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Sirius was crouched on the ground next to a hunched over Draco, who was shaking on his knees, clutching his arm close to his chest and wheezing for breath. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Remus seemed torn between Sirius and Draco, and somehow, instinctively really, she began to move. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She summoned the inhaler from his room that she’d only just discovered that afternoon, and forced it to his mouth and clasped her hand over his lips to ensure the medicine went down properly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco’s eyes were wide and panicked, giving her the distinct impression he was no longer aware of his surroundings. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His breathing was steadying, but his arm remained clutched to his side. She pressed her hand to it, and quickly withdrew it. Her fingers were soaked and tinted slightly red from the action. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco’s eyes glazed over, and his mumbling seemed slightly more coherent than before. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It hurts.” he whispered hoarsely, “It hurts so much. Why does it hurt?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Sirius snapped to attention at that and pushed himself close beside her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What hurts Draco? Tell me.” he whispered gently. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Hermione bit her lip and met Remus’s gaze. “His arm is bleeding. We need dittany, bandages, antiseptics.” She rattled off, before turning her attention back to Draco. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Everywhere.” Draco muttered, “He told me…” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Who? Who told you?” Sirius prodded softly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco’s eyes seemed to focus on Sirius then, and confusion spread across his face. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“He,” he stressed, “He told me it would be worse if I lived than if I’d died.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her heart seemed to stop at that, and her expression seemed to be shared by Sirius. Their trance was only broken by the soft moan Draco let out before he went limp in their arms._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice long update. Let me know what you think. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own HP. Quotes from A. Huxley and E.A. Bucchianer


	5. Chapter 5

_He could still feel the effects of the last Crucio. His limbs shook, trembling like they’d never known to be still. His chest heaved, tight and hammering. If the pain ever did end, he thought his heart may never beat a steady rhythm again. _

_He cracked his eyes open, the wand was still trained on him though for a moment no spells came from it. This was another brief reprieve before the next round. It was a little trick the Dark Lord had learned. Kept his victims sane without sacrificing the bite behind each swift spell. _

_He licked his lips not minding the rust that had long since mixed with his own spit. _

_The snake bent down then, his dark robes clouding the little he was able to make out through his blurry vision. _

_“It’s a pity that now you show your strength. I’d have thought you’d be raving or dead by now.” Voldemort said in a manner that was almost teasing. _

_His stomach twisted at that thought. _

_“But there’s always been more to you Draco Malfoy. Hasn’t there?” he mused in a low voice, that surely the other’s couldn’t here. “You’ve been hiding from me.” _

_Draco didn’t speak. At this point he wasn’t sure he could. His throat was too swollen, his tongue too bloody, and his vocal cords too hoarse. He doubted he could manage more than a syllable. _

_“It would be better if you die tonight.” Voldemort said, moving his wand down from Draco’s forehead to his throat. “But in the case that you don’t. I have a gift.” _

_The wand dropped even lower to rest on his arm. No. The left forearm. The place he’d have received the permanent mark had he succeeded at that one task. _

_“You don’t wish for death. Not yet,” Voldemort said as he felt his flesh burn and tear under the other’s wand, “but you will.” _

_For the first time that night, instead of a soft sob or whimper, Draco screamed._

_ _He jolted upright, his head spinning at the motion as he cried out. He panted falling over to bend across his body. _ _

_ _He could still feel the searing of his skin from his dream, so much so that he was not surprised at the trembling still present in his hands. _ _

_ _“Draco. Hey. It's alright.” He felt firm arms steady his twitching limbs and rub soothingly down from his shoulders to his hands. _ _

_ _He blinked, as his vision seemed to finally focus on the gray blue eyes in front of him. _ _

_ _Before he could stop himself, the word tumbled out of his mouth. _ _

_ _“Dad.” _ _

_ _His head dropped to lean on Sirius’s._ _

_ _He could feel Sirius stiffen and relax as he took large breathes in hopes it would steady his racing heart. _ _

_ _As the adrenaline melted away, his wits seemed to finally return to him. He nearly groaned in embarrassment before he jolted away from Sirius. _ _

_ _He made out a faint smile on his father's face as he swept his eyes downward. _ _

_ _He cleared his throat, wincing at the dryness in his mouth. _ _

_ _He was about to speak, when Sirius began. _ _

_ _“Thank Merlin, you finally woke.” _ _

_ _His eyes flew up to meet Sirius's. _ _

_ _“How long?” he managed, his voice more strangled than he would have liked. _ _

_ _“Two days.” Sirius said reaching out as though to touch him before he abruptly withdrew and straightened in his seat. _ _

_ _“I didn't mean to cause any worry.” Draco said softly, “I… I just…” _ _

_ _“Don't.” Sirius interrupted. “Don't apologize.”_ _

_ _He stood then and ran a hand through his hair, messing it even more than it currently was. Though that wasn’t the only thing that seemed decidedly off with his father. His clothes were rumpled, and new lines decorated his cheeks with a sagging of the skin beneath his lids. _ _

_ _It struck Draco then that it looked like Sirius hadn't properly slept in quite a while. _ _

_ _“I asked for it didn't I?” Sirius said, his voice low, “Though when I asked you to talk to me, I imagined a lot less yelling.” _ _

_ _Draco steeled his face, hoping his expression was unreadable. Despite his efforts, he could feel the slight heat in his cheeks from Sirius's bitter tone. _ _

_ _“But if that's how you need to talk to me than by all means shout till your heart's content.” _ _

_ _He dropped his gaze to his palms, and for the first time he noticed the bandage peeking out from his left sleeve. Idly, his hand went to fiddle with the gauze. _ _

_ _The bed dipped as Sirius sat on the edge. His hand went to Draco’s shoulder, and he squeezed it reassuringly. _ _

_ _“It's fine with me if it means you'll tell me a fraction of what goes on in that mind of yours. Just…” Draco looked up and met his father's gaze again, “Don't send yourself into a fit doing so.” He finished with a slight quirk up of his lips. _ _

_ _Draco nodded slightly in acknowledgement not trusting his voice. _ _

_ _"I know it's worthless now, but I am so terribly and completely sorry. I…” Sirius took a breath, “I was impulsive and reckless. I should have realized when I had you that I couldn't afford to be that way anymore.” _ _

_ _“I.” Draco swallowed, “I know, but it doesn't make-” _ _

_ _“it hurt any less.” Sirius finished, “I know.” _ _

_ _He let out a long sigh that seemed to age him ten years. “Get some rest Draco.” He stood, “You worried us all for a moment there.”_ _

_ _Draco wanted to protest, but under Sirius’s mask of ease and comfort, he made out the intense pain and fear underlying it all. His own arguments quickly fell away under it. _ _

_ _Sirius shot him another tight smile before he surprisingly reached out and combed through Draco’s messed tresses. _ _

_ _“I'll send up something for you to eat. I imagine you're starved.” _ _

_ _He stood and in moments Draco was left alone in his room. _ _

_ _He let out out a breath, coughing slightly at the rough displacement of air. He relaxed against the headboard of the bed before he pushed up his left sleeve and examined the bandage properly. _ _

_ _He wondered if they'd realized what it was. _ _

_ _

_ _______________________________________________________________________________  
Hermione let out a breath as she started up the steps toward the solitary bedroom on the second floor. It had to have been a momentary lapse of judgement that had led her to volunteer to take Draco up food and water after Sirius had announced he was finally awake. _ _

_ _It had been so tense since the … event. Draco going limp in her arms was not a sensation that she wanted to experience again. One moment, he’d been trembling, hot, and painfully alive, and the next it was as though all the warmth in his body had fled taking with it every sign of life but the rhythm of his heart. _ _

_ _She shivered, recalling it. _ _

_ _Then there was what he’d said before he’d collapsed. That had been the true terror, the implication of it was evidence that all her fears on what exactly might occur during this war were justified. They were a reality. _ _

_ _It was those words that had likely led to the odd assortment of people that had taken up vigil in the house. Oddest, and perhaps more surprising, was the presence of Severus Snape. _ _

_ _She still wasn’t exactly clear on why Sirius had sent for him and allowed him into the house. Harry had all but erupted when he’d walked into the kitchen to see their former Professor having tea, of all things, with his godfather. Needless to say, words were vehemently exchanged. Yet, Sirius had never faltered. He trusted Snape for some reason, enough that he’d called him here in order to aid them in helping Draco. It was something that couldn’t be taken lightly or dismissed. _ _

_ _Harry knew it. Ron knew it. She knew it too. _ _

_ _Though it drove her mad not knowing the story behind all of it. All they’d gotten was a brief revelation that Dumbledore had ordered his own assassination and that he’d likely have still been dead now had Snape not done the deed. _ _

_ _A cursed limb. Such a horrifying ailment. _ _

_ _It was a slight appeasement, but it did not lessen the pain of the act or the hole that had been left by her Headmaster’s death. _ _

_ _She may not have been as close to him as Harry, but she had respected him even if she didn’t always agree with his actions. He spoke too often in riddles for her taste. Especially beyond the grave. _ _

_ _She remembered Snape’s expression as he spoke. One that had carried much of the same emotions she felt toward the Headmaster. Begrudging respect but still exasperation. _ _

_ _He was a curious individual, her professor, full of surprising revelations. He’d come with an armful of supplies and had been distressed and slightly surprised to hear about the wound on Draco’s arm. _ _

_ _They’d gone into Draco’s room again and pointed out several of their previous findings as well as discovered new ones. A supply of salves and creams that none of them seemed able to identify. _ _

_ _It was obvious that he’d been using it on his wound, but where he’d gotten it was a mystery. Snape had thought, and quite vocally defended, that Draco had likely made them himself. _ _

_ _Sirius and Remus had been doubtful, and it was again with Snape’s insistence that it was probably the truth that they seemed to somewhat accept it. _ _

_ _‘Your son.’ Snape had said eyeing Sirius, ‘is remarkably talented. If it hadn’t been for the age restrictions and the need to keep up appearances, I’d have taken him on as an apprentice for a mastery ages ago. I wouldn’t doubt that Draco is capable of creating such a thing. I’d be worried about why.’_ _

_ _And that was the real question. Why and how. _ _

_ _She stopped before his door, and took another breath before she knocked and opened it slightly, carefully peering inside. _ _

_ _She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it was not the sight of Draco’s bare back hunched over as he buttoned his dark jeans. _ _

_ _He whirled around at her entrance, staring at her in shock. _ _

_ _She cast her eyes to the ground, still too caught up in the moment to fully vocalize her apology at the intrusion. _ _

_ _His back was toned. He’d always been so thin that she’d assumed that he was gangly. He couldn’t be farther from that. What he had had been toned and sculpted, firm and terrifyingly beautiful. _ _

_ _Though that wasn’t what had struck her. It was the presence of numerous thin scars along his back, white and fading along his skin. Jagged in places and in some they spread like starbursts. Alarming, a mosaic of terrible stories no doubt. Though, she found them oddly fitting.  
Oddly beautiful even._ _

_ _He scrambled for his thin shirt that had been discarded on the bed. He immediately grabbed it and slipped into the gray henley. She’d barely registered the fact that he was wearing muggle clothes when the exposure of his front afforded her a glimpse of more scars. These, she knew the source of. Harry. Harry and his curse. _ _

_ _Draco let out a breath, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame the strands that had been messed by his hasty dressing. _ _

_ _He eyed her warily, starting with her face and then dropping to the items in her hand. _ _

_ _“I must still be under the influence of potions if I didn’t hear you come in.” he said finally, sitting down on the edge of his bed. _ _

_ _“I knocked.” She said, wincing at how pitiful an explanation it was. _ _

_ _He nodded once before he accepted the glass of water in her hand, downing it quickly. _ _

_ _“So he sent you up?” _ _

_ _It wasn’t a question exactly, and it was even more surprising that he hadn’t voiced it with any disdain for her behind it. _ _

_ _“Well I think his options were me or Tonks, but she seemed really involved in the debate they were all having downstairs.” _ _

_ _He perked up at that. _ _

_ _“They?”_ _

_ _She grimaced. She hadn’t meant to imply that there was an unofficial council downstairs debating what to do next. _ _

_ _“Who’s here?” he ground out. _ _

_ _She steeled her face and stood taller, not wanting to show that she was even the slightest bit intimidated at his glare. _ _

_ _“Harry, Ron, Sirius,” She paused, “Remus and Tonks.” _ _

_ _His brow rose, as his features morphed into a look of doubt. “And?” he prompted. _ _

_ _She ground her teeth, not wanting to simply reveal the information when he was so desperate to have it. It was obvious from his expression that he held suspicions, and his reaction was puzzling. _ _

_ _She was just thinking it, when she felt the oddest sensation that left her confused and full of the desire to speak. _ _

_ _“Professor Snape.” She heard herself declare. _ _

_ _Draco flashed a slight look of triumph, and she realized with horror that he’d slipped into her mind and coaxed the answer out of her. _ _

_ _Yet, through her horror at his violation, she was secretly impressed. Mind Arts were delicate and required years to master. She hadn’t even felt the intrusion on her own. _ _

_ _She’d have to look into books on Occlumency. Draco had slipped too easily into her mind. She hardly wanted to leave anyone else the opportunity to do the same. _ _

_ _“Fuck.” Draco muttered, tearing her away from her musings. _ _

_ _He stood up again, shoving his feet into shoes that had been neatly placed beside the foot of his bed. _ _

_ _He looked at her then. _ _

_ _“What have they given me today?”_ _

_ _She frowned, but easily catching his meaning, she answered. “A fever reducer, you’ve been running one on and off for the past two days, muscle relaxants, antibiotics because of…” She trailed off unbidden her eyes had dropped to his arm. _ _

_ _He shifted under her gaze slightly, though his face showed no indication he was uncomfortable by her staring. _ _

_ _She shook her head. _ _

_ _“And dreamless sleep.” _ _

_ _He frowned then. _ _

_ _“Dreamless?” He asked. _ _

_ _She nodded, feeling her cheeks flush as she looked away from his steely gaze. “There were times while you were out that you would...shout. Since we figured it was dreams, we thought…” She trailed off, not wanting to continue her sentence. It hadn’t just been shouts. For moments, he’d been screaming. _ _

_ _He looked troubled. After a moment, his face had gone blank again. “But no pain.” he muttered, more to himself than her. He took the plate still in her hands, and took a few bites from the plain toast before he dropped to his knees and searched beneath his bed. After a moment, he came up with a small flask and took a long swing from it. _ _

_ _Her nose caught whiff of the smell, and she immediately scowled. _ _

_ _“Firewhiskey.” _ _

_ _He shrugged his shoulders before stowing the flask back in its place. In a single motion, he rose gracefully back to his feet and strode passed her. _ _

_ _“Where are you going?” She grabbed his arm before he reached the door. _ _

_ _He stiffened at her touch, and his eyes fell to where her hand was still clutching his bicep. His brow rose, and she dropped her hand as though he’d burned her. _ _

_ _“To join them.” he said simply before leaving the room and heading down the steps. _ _

_ _She scrambled out to join him, but he was much faster than her in his catlike descent. She didn’t meet up with him until the door to the kitchen. _ _

_ _He’d paused, listening carefully at the murmur of conversations. For some reason, she felt the need to remain quiet as well. Instead of questioning her actions, she turned her ear to catch the words that were floating out from the closed room. _ _

_ _“A curse.” She heard Tonks say, “It didn’t respond to dittany.” _ _

_ _“A lot of wounds don’t respond to dittany.” Remus replied. _ _

_ _Someone snorted, and muttered something that couldn’t be made out. _ _

_ _“Yes, but.” Tonks spoke, “but it feels that way. When I went to change the bandages it felt draining somehow.” _ _

_ _She stole a glance at Draco, who looked pale at Tonks’s words. _ _

_ _“You do realize that the greatest source of information would be Draco himself.” _ _

_ _She shivered at Snape’s cool drawl. _ _

_ _“I left him to rest.” Sirius interrupted, “It’s obvious he needs it, and I won’t allow you lot poke and prod him before he seems well enough. It’s not just about the wound. That fit he had was one of the worst I’ve ever seen.”_ _

_ _“Conversation is hardly strenuous. Snape drawled, “Though, you’d do well to nott underestimate your son’s strength, or his stealth.” _ _

_ _She made out Draco’s thin smirk at that before it fell from his face as he pushed to door to the kitchen open. _ _

_ _She followed, silently cursing Draco’s dramatic tendencies. He’d timed his entrance to make a scene. Of that, there was no doubt in her mind. _ _

_ _He strode confidently into the kitchen, hands in his pockets as he came to a stop to lean against the one free counter in the kitchen. _ _

_ _He smirked slightly at the others’ obvious shock. _ _

_ _“Good Morning.” He said, his voice low but steady. _ _

_ _Sirius was the first to recover as he crossed his arms and looked sternly at Draco. “I told you to rest.” _ _

_ _Draco shrugged. “We’re just talking aren’t we. It’s not like we’re here to fight.” Draco’s gaze drifted to Snape, who was looking at him intently. _ _

_ _She watched carefully, seeing a flash of annoyance in Snape’s eyes as well as obvious mirth in Draco’s. _ _

_ _“Your health is a priority.” Sirius ground out. _ _

_ _Draco turned back to his father, and he folded his arms tight against his chest. _ _

_ _She thought he looked much too defensive as well as a little embarrassed at the attention Sirius was giving him. She caught the slightest bit of confusion that always seemed to present itself in Draco whenever his father expressed his concern over him. _ _

_ _She wondered what was so shocking to him; if it was that someone would worry so much over his well being, or if it was just that Sirius worried over his well being. _ _

_ _Her eyes drifted to Harry, who was seated with Ron at the corner of the table. The three of them had kept mostly silent and to themselves over the past few days, but their curiosity had not allowed them to leave the vigil the adults had set up within the kitchen. Now, they still stood silent, only there was more interest in Harry’s gaze then there had been before. _ _

_ _She’d seen his concern for Draco. Something that she’d thought was slightly amusing given their history and had even teased him in private over.  
He’s kind of like your brother now, what with Sirius being your godfather. _ _

_ _Harry had scoffed at that, but otherwise said nothing. Not even a protest to deny his feelings. Though, she knew that it was more because there was no way he could deny them. The first time they’d woken to that blood curdling scream had been enough for their petty rivalries to simply evaporate. _ _

_ _Things like war and damage tended to do that. _ _

_ _“You’re worse than Mum.” Draco muttered before clearing his throat, “It’s fine.” He spoke louder, “Not the first time I’ve overdone it.” _ _

_ _“I was there Draco,” They all turned in surprise at Remus, who didn’t seem at all bothered by the attention he’d called to himself by speaking, “that didn’t look like just overdoing it.” _ _

_ _Draco fidgeted, scratching the back of his neck. _ _

_ _“Some things just make it worse, alright. Stress, allergies, the weather, if I’m coming down with something; it’s not new for me. I know how to deal with whatever’s making me feel sick.” he said softly. _ _

_ _To admit even that much seemed physically painful for him. He was too proud to admit a weakness, and likely too proud to admit to accept pity. _ _

_ _Remus looked at him for a moment before he nodded slightly. _ _

_ _Draco seemed to visibly relax, as he straightened. “Right then.” He said rummaging in one of his pockets and pulling a small drawstring pouch from his pocket. He stepped toward the kitchen table before he dropped the contents of the bag in the center. _ _

_ _She gasped at the sight, and somewhere in her daze she heard Ron and Harry do the same. The only other person who seemingly recognized the importance of the object on the table was Snape. _ _

_ _“You already have it.” Snape ground out, looking positively furious just as Harry spoke for the first time. _ _

_ _“Where did you get that?”_ _

_ _Draco ignored Snape for a moment and focused on Harry. He studied the other intently before he nodded once. “Good, you know what it is then.” _ _

_ _Hermione’s eyes drifted toward the solitary locket laying in the middle of the kitchen table. _ _

_ _Slytherin’s locket. _ _

_ _Draco turned from Harry back to Snape. _ _

_ _“I told you I was capable.” He deadpanned, before shuddering slightly, “And for the record Umbridge is both a despicable and stupid human being as well as a pervert.” _ _

_ _Images passed through her mind at that and she couldn’t help the low giggle that fell from her lips. _ _

_ _Draco’s eyes shot to her, and she caught the slight smile on his lips at her reaction. _ _

_ _“As great as it is to hear a joke around here.” Tonks began, “I’m still not sure what we’re looking at. All I see is an ugly locket.” She turned to lean forward as though to touch it. _ _

_ _“Don’t.” Both Draco and Snape exclaimed at the same time. _ _

_ _Tonks jerked her hand back, confused at the two’s outburst. _ _

_ _Hermione chewed her lip, stealing a glance at Harry and Ron. Their plan had been to involve as few people as possible on the hunt for these objects. Dumbledore had implied the need for secrecy, and at the time they’d formed their plans, they hadn’t been sure if they could trust the rest of the Order. Especially considering Snape’s apparent betrayal. _ _

_ _Now though, Draco had forced their hand. It meant he trusted all of them here to keep the secret, and frankly she could relate to the sentiment. She did trust, to varying degrees, everyone seated at this table. Part of her though was reluctant to trust more than them. _ _

_ _Her mind was turning, considering the options. Keeping the Order limitedly informed allowed them more resources than if they went on the run; though that may still end up being an option._ _

_ _Her eyes drifted to Draco, who seemed to be watching her just as intently. _ _

_ _He’d gotten one Horcrux on his own. How, she didn’t know, but she recognized a valuable ally when she saw one. Remus had told her before not to doubt Draco’s loyalties or his abilities and knowledge for how to defeat Voldemort. This was proof of that, and they’d all be fools to dismiss it. _ _

_ _He was waiting for her, she realized. She stole a glance toward Harry, whose brows had been furrowed as he also analyzed the situation. _ _

_ _He cleared his throat.  
“What we say here doesn’t leave this room.” Harry finally said, looking around to each of them. _ _

_ _When everyone had voiced their assent, Harry once again met her gaze, signaling her that she could explain. _ _

_ _She took a deep breath. _ _

_ _“It’s called a horcrux.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left a review, I've loved reading every single one. Keep them coming!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.


	6. Chapter 6

Draco watched as each of their faces contorted in obvious horror as Hermione continued to explain the idea of Horcruxes as well as the abbreviated version of how Voldemort had made them. When she’d come to part of Dumbledore entrusting them with the task, he couldn’t suppress his snort of amusement. 

He was sure Potter would have murdered him at his nonchalance, but the action was covered up by the absolute explosion that Tonks, Remus, and Sirius had when it became apparent that the Trio had planned to go and search for these Horcruxes on their own. 

And Sirius had called him reckless. 

He rolled his eyes. At least he planned and used all the resources he had available. 

When she’d finished speaking, silence had settled across their group until Remus had cleared his throat. 

“How do you destroy them?”

Here she’d hesitated before answering, “I have a few theories…”

“The Sword.” He interrupted. She turned sharply to look at him before nodding. 

He sighed turning to the others, “The Sword of Gryffindor or, I suspect, fiendfyre would do the trick.” He paused, “But I don’t suggest we try that unless it’s a last resort.” 

He winced then as he felt his arm twist in pain. Involuntarily, his hand went to massage it through the bandages; an action that was not lost on everyone else there. 

“But the Sword’s still at Hogwarts.” Ron muttered mournfully. 

Draco turned to his godfather, watching him for his reaction.

“Not for much longer I suspect.” Snape said, looking at Draco. 

Draco’s brow rose. “They’re already moving it?” 

Snape nodded in response, folding his arms and leaning back in his seat. “To Bellatrix’s vault.” 

He hummed thoughtfully. He’d expected the sword to be moved, but to do so quickly was a bit of a surprise. Was the snake already worried or being overly cautious? Regardless, the sword was crucial and his mind was already working on plans to replicate and replace the sword when they were interrupted by Hermione. 

“He would trust her with it?”

Snape turned his head, his eyes cooly settling on her with a sneer pulling at his mouth. “He’s trusted her with far more important tasks. Her disgusting devotion endears her to him. He has faith that she will never betray him.” 

Draco snorted in agreement ready to add that Bellatrix’s devotion likely included more than handling the Dark Lord’s trinkets when his breath caught. Could it really be that simple? 

He blinked as he felt the other's settle on him, and he realized he’d spoken his last thought out loud. 

He stumbled back to lean against a counter. 

It had been right there in front of his face. Why it was a precedent. The bastard had left the diary with Lucius after all, and Bellatrix now far outranked him. It would make complete sense he’d entrust another horcrux to a member of the inner circle. 

“She has it too.” He murmured to himself. 

Fuck. 

If he’d known earlier, he could have gone into the vault and retrieved it himself. Now, with widespread knowledge of his presumed death, there was no way he could do it so simply. 

He took a breath. One thing at a time he mentally chided. There was no way to rush and retrieve whatever horcrux was buried in the belly of that bank. He’d do well to focus on the one task he had a chance of accomplishing soon. 

“We have to get the sword before it’s moved to the vault.” He managed to say stealing his gaze on his godfatther. “As it is, I’m assuming you haven’t gotten it yet.” 

Snape’s brow rose and he was struck with the sense that he was being scolded. Not a new occurrence really. Snape had been quite ready to do as much throughout his childhood. 

“Two days from when you asked for it is hardly enough time to have a replica made to make the switch. Even I cannot perform such miracles.”

Draco winced at Snape’s casual mention of their meeting, and he could feel Sirius’s stern glare without having to see it. Silently he cursed before slowly turning his head to take in his father’s carefully controlled expression.  
“I knew your comings and goings were dangerous in and of themselves, but I didn’t think you were purposefully seeking danger out.” Sirius said sternly, “You’ve been meeting with Snape. I swear to Merlin anti-appara-” 

“Galleons.” Draco interrupted before Sirius’s rant could continue. “Galleons would speed it up.”

“I hate to break it to you Malfoy or Black or whatever.” Weasley began, “But you can’t exactly use your family vaults if you’re assumed dead.” 

Draco rolled his eyes and dug in his pockets. Honestly, how any of these Gryffindors had managed to last this long, never mind through a war, he didn’t know. Finally he fished out the key he’d been searching for before handing it off to Snape. 

“Vault 680. My emergency stash.” he said meeting his godfather’s gaze. He saw a faint flash of amusement in his Snape’s eyes. 

“No name attached to the vault. The key should be enough to get in.” 

At that Snape looked impressed. 

He smirked, but it fell off his face as he was hit with another shot of pain that began in his arm and spread all the way down to the soles of his feet. He shuddered, taking care to keep his movements minimal as the conversation shifted around him. He let out a breath as his hands curled into fist, his nails barely digging into the skin of his palms while he waited for the sensation to fade. 

When he finally felt steady enough to speak, he found the remainder of their so called congregation debating the merits of involving the remainder of the Order. It was perhaps the first time in his life that he found himself agreeing with Harry bleeding Potter. Better to keep the rest in the dark than risk the information leaking to even the most unexpected sources. 

He voiced as much before retreating back to his spot to lean against the counter. The remainder of the conversation faded away from him as he grew lost once more in his thoughts. The pain had finally subsided leaving him with a gut knotted and churning. Yet, he knew the minute he implied he felt anything other than healthy, Sirius would drag him out and put him to bed. 

It brought a slight smile to his lips as he imagined it. 

Narcissa had been the same way. Of course it had been when he was a child, and being 7 was not the same as being 17. 

He sighed before he straightened, feeling a pair of eyes on him. Casually, he let his gaze go around the room before he noticed his cousin staring at him intently. She hadn’t spoken much during the meeting, which he now realized was quite odd. Nymphadora Tonks or really Nymphadora Lupin now, was hardly ever silent. 

He frowned slightly as he looked out the corner of his eye, feeling another pair of eyes settle on him. 

He was a little surprised to see it was Granger watching him. 

He was confusing her, he was sure. His actions had intrigued her and would no doubt color her interactions with him. Oddly though, he wasn’t as annoyed as he should have been at her antics. 

Her actions thus far had been just as intriguing. 

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard them settle on a time for an Order meeting and that Snape’s involvement would remain a secret for now. 

He was about to make a move to leave when he felt a soft brush against his Occlumency shields. His eyes narrowed slightly as he discreetly shot a look to his godfather who only responded by slightly tilting his chin toward the Floo room. 

Draco could take a hint. He slipped away and settled down on one of the chairs near the fireplace and a minute later he felt Snape join him. 

He leant back in his chair as Snape stood before him. He found he didn’t have it in him to stand at the moment, and Snape wasn’t one to be offended at his displacement of formality. Snape regarded him for a moment. 

“Lucius has been asking about your things, particularly those you might have left at Hogwarts.”

Draco blinked, unsure what to say. His feelings on Lucius were confusing at best. The man had been his father, and despite his harsh exterior, unrealistic expectations, and sometimes cruel punishments, there were times that were undeniably pleasant. 

Though with the Dark Lord’s return and Lucius’s arrest, the man he’d once known had seemed to disappear and become a shell of who he once was. He’d left him and Narcissa to the wolves, and he wasn’t sure he would ever forgive him for that. 

“Why?” Draco finally said. 

Snape looked away thoughtfully, “Momentos I suppose. He did seem rather grieved over your apparent death, for him that is. He clings to Narcissa like a lifeline now.”

Draco grimaced. “I want her out of there.”

Snape nodded. “Though I agree, I doubt it will be as easy to extract her in the manner in which you were. Just as Lucius clings to her, she does the same for him. Separating them may not be an option.”

Draco looked thoughtfully down at his palms. “If the time arises that they both can be taken out, then…” he swallowed roughly, “Perhaps they could go to France. We have property there that is warded and unknown to any but us.”  
It wasn’t ideal, but he’d rather have Narcissa safe no matter if she was with him or not. 

Snape said nothing, and for a moment Draco was sure he’d left in the time that he’d spent simply looking down at his fisted hand. 

“Are you quite alright?” Snape finally said. 

Draco bit his tongue, allowing himself time to think before he responded. 

“As well as I can be.” he answered diplomatically.

Snape shot him a look, and he let out a breath. 

“It pains me sometimes, nothing I can’t handle. Mostly, it just make me tired now.”

Snape nodded once. 

“It happened that night, didn’t it?”

It was meant to be a question, but it really came out to be a statement. Draco dipped his chin in response. 

“It didn’t really look like this until a month ago.” he said staring down at the bandage peeking out from his sleeve. 

He heard Snape’s sharp intake of breath as well as his soft words that he would be looking into it. As he tilted his head to meet Snape’s gaze to say goodbye, he was surprised to see the other reach out and palm his forehead. 

“You’re running a fever again.” 

He nodded slightly, having somewhat figured that that was the case as he shuddered under his godfather’s cool touch. 

Snape dropped his hand. “Take the fever reducer and go back to bed.” 

When he offered a curt nod in reply, Snape smirked slightly in a manner that was almost fondly before he turned with a flare of his robes to disappear within the green flames of the Floor. 

Draco let out a breath, which turned into a light cough before he stood in a single motion and headed up the steps to his room. 

He’d deflected attention off him during the meeting, but that didn’t mean they’d forgotten about the wound on his arm. Snape certainly hadn’t. 

He wondered how long it would be before Sirius came knocking at his room with a fresh round of questions about it.

He shook his head, pushing open the door to his room. 

He knew Sirius meant well, but the thought of finally laying all his burdens out for him to see was near terrifying. He didn’t trust easy to begin with. He had no precedent for it, and to trust and let Sirius in now when he had no idea if he’d live to even see the end of this conflict was enough to give him pause. 

The child in him though, the one who’d foolishly ached for the missing presence in his life even before he knew him, wanted it with a fervor. 

He rubbed his temples as he pushed such thoughts out of his head. He was too tired to contemplate such life altering problems. 

He stepped into his bedroom and his brow rose at the sight of the pink haired individual by his bedside. He shook his head and proceeded to kick off his shoes before falling onto the bed. 

Tonks gave him a soft smile before handing a potion vial to him. 

“Figured you’d need that.” She said, leaning back into the chair she’d dragged up right to his bedside. 

He regarded the vial. Based on the color, it looked like a fever and pain reducer. He uncorked it and downed the contents quickly murmuring a soft thanks before handing it back to her. 

“How bad is it?” She asked, “The pain.”

He turned to his side propping his elbow up to hold his head. He raised a brow in question. 

“Auror.” Tonks said waving off his silent question. 

“Not for the next while at least.” Draco said looking pointedly at her stomach. 

Her eyes widened in shock as she wrapped her arms around her middle. “How did you guess?” she asked quietly. 

“You didn’t say anything the entire time. You didn’t volunteer for any missions or interject. It didn’t seem right. Didn’t seem like you.” Draco said softly, “Then I thought about what newlyweds usually do, and, well, it made sense.”

Tonks let out a breath. “Only Remus knows.” she murmured running her hands in circles around her middle. She smiled slightly before she caught his gaze again. “But this does mean I’m free to completely focus on that curse you’ve got curling up your arm.”

He winced at her casual mention of it, but didn’t deny her claims. Something she seemed to take note of. 

He startled when he felt her hand curl around his. 

“Repeat after me. We will break the curse.” 

His brow rose. She tugged at his hand as though to encourage him to reply. A small smile pulled at his lips before he nodded. 

“We will break the curse.” he whispered. 

“Good.” Tonks declared, standing swiftly. “Now this time, actually get some rest yeah?”

He murmured his assent and the minute Tonks left his room, he stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers. 

He closed his eyes, shivering and wincing at the pressure in his head centered on his sinuses. He coughed softly, and fitfully he nodded off. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hermione sat in the empty seat that Tonks had left when she’d slipped out moments ago. She went over it all in her mind unsure if the meeting had truly just occurred. Yet, there it was. Slytherin’s locket right in front of her. 

“I’m not mental am I? I mean did Malfoy help us?” Ron muttered from beside her. 

“Black.” She corrected automatically, “His name is Black.” 

Her eyes drifted to Sirius, who seemed to finally realize that Draco had slipped away without giving up even a little bit of information on the wound on his arm. Remus seemed to be reassuring him that Tonks had gone up to check on her cousin as they drifted from the kitchen. 

“I didn’t see that coming.” Harry muttered when only the three of them remained within the room. 

“ s’not even the worst of it. Just wait until the Order’s here tomorrow.” Ron grimaced, before breaking out into a wicked smile, “Just think, for once the attention is going to be one someone else.” 

Her brow rose, as she fought to keep her amusement at Ron’s antics in check. 

Harry frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Sirius has to introduce his secret child to everyone tomorrow. Can you imagine Mal-, bugger I’m going to call him Draco. This is too confusing.” Ron said shaking his head. 

They looked at one another before laughing. It felt nice to finally release some of their pent up frustrations in a positive action. It loosened the tightness in her chest, and for a moment, she could forget where exactly they were. 

They quieted after a moment. 

Harry cleared his throat. “You think he knows about the others?”

Hermione let out a sigh. “I don’t know Harry.” Though she thought about how he’d frozen after Snape had spoken about Bellatrix. He had an idea that she could say for certain. 

The weariness settled back in her. 

“I don’t know Harry.” She repeated, “But suddenly I’m just exhausted.” 

She stood and made her way up the stairs. Blinking, she realized she’d stopped right on the second floor landing. 

She gazed at his door, and jumped as the door swung open and Tonks stepped out. 

She froze, and Tonks gave her a knowing smile before coming to join her on the landing. 

“You should leave him to get some sleep now. He’s tired and running another fever.” 

Hermione shook her head, and despite herself, she felt her cheeks begin to warm. 

She hadn’t even meant to stop here, but her thoughts and questions had distracted her. 

“I wasn’t...I mean I didn’t even think -” 

“I’d wait until dinner at least to wake him.” Tonks continued, as though Hermione hadn’t spoken. With one last knowing smile, the pink haired Auror moved passed her heading back down the steps. 

Hermione shook her head and cast one last look at the 5th room from the stairs. 

“What are you thinking Draco?” She muttered before turning to head up to her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. My semester has been crazy. Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

side to see the time from the clock he kept by his bedside. 

5:30 am 

Merlin. He hadn’t slept that long straight since he was a child. 

He snorted, an action he immediately regretted as it threw him into a light coughing fit. When it ended, he groaned and reached out for the little muggle device Remus had taken him to get. He stretched and came up slightly short. 

A wandless Accio fixed that. 

He held it to his mouth and puffed in the medicine and then sent the thing back. 

He sat up, rubbing his temples. His head felt stuffed, and that was a prelude to something he didn’t want to deal with, especially now of all times. 

Regretfully, he forced himself from the bed and opened his potions drawer and fumbled around for an allergy potion, downing it almost immediately. 

He couldn’t get sick. Not now. 

He glanced about the room, realizing more sleep now was pointless and began rummaging through his drawers for clothes before he slipped into the loo for a much needed shower. 

It was a rather relaxing ritual, simply standing under the shower head and letting the scalding hot water beat against his skin, relaxing his tense muscles. It cleared the last remnants of drowsiness from his eyes and allowed his mind to finally jolt awake. 

He finished rather quickly and dressed even faster. He hated looking down and seeing the litter of scars that now decorated his skin. He didn’t think he’d care so much if he wasn’t reminded about each event attached to the marks every time he so much as glanced at them. They weren’t exactly pleasant. 

He glanced down at his forearm, having taken off the bandages to get his first good look at it in days. 

It looked worse. 

The cut in the skin had started out small, a faint impression of where Voldemort had dug his wand into his arm. The pain, the feeling of being torn, that had been under the skin. He couldn’t say when he’d first noticed the scarring beginning to open, but it must have been around the time his veins begin to darken around it. It started slow, the first month he’d only felt tired and barely noticed the additional decoration he now sported. Near the end of it though, that was when the pain began. 

He’d experimented with everything. Every potion, every cream, every healing remedy he’d ever read and a few more he’d looked up. Nothing worked. It’s what led him to begin trying his own hand at creating something that helped, if only by numbing the area. 

He shook the water clinging to his hair as he reached over for the salve jar and clumped some into his hand before applying it to the wound and redressing it. 

He sighed in satisfaction at his work and slipped into a shirt before finally venturing out into the rest of the house. 

Grimmauld Place was an interesting home. He’d realized that pretty quickly the minute he’d been acquainted with the house. Twists, turns, secret rooms, and an eclectic collection of resources. His first stop was the library, where he turned amongst the shelves until he found the volume he’d been meaning to look into and then headed down to the kitchens. 

Being hungry was a nice change; he hadn’t had much of an appetite in weeks with the thought or taste of food leaving him nauseous.Though he figured skipping lunch and dinner would do that to anyone. 

He had a feeling it was another attachment of this curse on him. 

Starve him to death. 

Not exactly efficient. 

Yet that wasn’t exactly the full point of it. More of a side effect really. It was to force a deterioration; body, soul, and...mind. 

The last, he feared more than the first. 

He’d always had his mind to fall back on, when he was still relatively defenseless with magic, when he was younger, always a tad smaller than he should be for his age until he’d shot up in 5th year.... He’d had his brain to plan, to work, to learn. He couldn’t lose that. 

Even now, he was contemplating a hundred different things at once. 

Bellatrix had the cup. 

He was more sure of it now that he’d had time to dwell on the idea. 

Getting in was going to prove nearly impossible. Even if one could get past the first few goblins and gain entrance into the vault, getting there would force them through enchantments that stripped them of any disguises they may have. 

He balled his fists, dropping them hard on the counter. 

If he’d only known beforehand, he could have charmed his way down and used his excuse as the woman’s nephew to see her vault. In fact, he doubted he would have even needed a goblin to open it. His ‘aunt’ favored blood wards, and his blood would have been more than enough. 

“Ugh.” he groaned, dropping his head on the counter. 

“Does Master Draco be needing anythings?” 

He startled before relaxing at the sight of Kreacher. 

“Merlin Kreacher, you’ve got to stop sneaking up on me.” 

Kreacher bowed, his head nearly touching the ground. “I’s apologize Master Draco” He lifted his head, “But be you needing anything?”

He looked thoughtful, “Yes. I’m actually quite famished. You wouldn’t mind helping me sort…”

“Oh yes Master. Kreacher will make breakfast.” the elf babbled clearly excited for the task. 

It forced a thin smile on his face. “Really Kreacher just point me in the direction of….” 

“No.” Kreacher gasped at the idea that he may want to serve himself. “Kreacher serves the house of Black, and he is honored to serve the true master of the ancient home.” 

He bit his tongue to hold back his laughter. 

“Has Sirius been giving you trouble again Kreacher?”

The elf grumbled something that sounded very much like, ‘Kreacher should not talk of such things.’

He waved it off. “Don’t hold back on my account. If you’d like to complain, be my guest.”

Kreacher looked up to him with a look of near awe. 

Draco laughed at the look. “Oh gods.” he managed between bouts of laughter and wheezing, “I’m sure between the two of us, we could manage a list of complaints for everyone in the whole house.” 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hermione’s eyes fluttered open as she took in the near darkness of her room. Groaning, she rolled to her side and clasped her wand with a quick spell to check the time on the tip of her tongue. 

6:30am. 

Christ. 

She fell back down on the bed. She’d wanted to sleep longer than 5 hours. She rubbed her eyes. 

After Draco had disappeared to go sleep, she’d plunged head first into her research. First, she’d wanted to confirm the theory that she and Draco had seemed to come up with on how to destroy a horcrux. With the information sparse at best, and what little was available seemed to confirm it, she’d gravitated toward other subject materials. 

She hadn’t even realized she’d begun researching dark curses until the second book. By then, it was easy to guess what for. 

Draco. 

She hadn’t woken him, as Tonks had suggested. Sirius had gone to check on him before dinner and found his fever had spiked. He’d let him sleep, worried about the slight blemishes that were decorating the skin beneath his eyes and the fever that just didn’t seem to break. 

Not a reassuring sign to be sure.

She bit her lip, hoping to banish such dark thoughts from the forefront of her mind. It was too early to be thinking of fatalities. 

She slipped out of the bed, finally accepting that she would not be drifting back into dreams anytime soon. 

With a quick spell for her hair, she tugged on her jeans and a loose jumper before making her way down the steps toward the kitchen. 

Some tea and toast and then she’d return to her books before the Order arrived later today. 

“Now I’m only making an observation, not suggesting anything, but cleaning out the Quidditch supplies and rearranging the brooms in the opposite order of how they are now would surely drive my father mental.” 

She paused a few feet from the door, recognizing Draco’s voice. 

“Food for thought.” he continued. 

She cocked her head with interest 

There was a long pause before the reply. 

“Kreacher was planning to cleans the Quidditch supplies soon.” 

“That’s the spirit.” Draco laughed lightly.

“And does Master be having any other suggestions for the guests.” 

Was Draco conversing and joking with Kreacher? She’d hardly believe it if she weren’t hearing it right then and there. 

Draco seemed to consider Kreacher’s request before she heard him answer. 

“I suppose you could pretend we’re out of food. It would probably give Weasley heart failure.” 

She clasped a hand over her mouth to keep in her snort of amusement at Draco’s dry wit. He had a surprising sense of humor, even if it was at the expense of her friend. 

“What of Miss Granger’s Master? She not be a natural witch. Such things are not right for the noble house of Black.” 

She winced at Kreacher’s vehement insistence, She’d truly thought she’d broken him of it. She’d been kind and it had been ages since he’d called her a mudblood to her face. Yet, it seemed despite it all, he still believed her to be a lesser being.

“Ah.” Draco mused, “Well, she can’t very well help that. She hasn’t been unkind has she?”

Kreacher grumbled before replying, “No Master.” 

“Then I must say Kreacher, I draw the line at Miss Granger. Her only true faults, besides her two bodyguards, are her incredibly nosy nature and utter lack of stealth.”

The door to the kitchen opened, and Draco leant on the frame with his arms crossed as he stared down at her. 

“Morning Granger.” 

She blushed sheepishly, but fought to keep her expression blank anyway. 

“Draco.” she greeted. 

He blinked in surprise, faltering slightly on his feet. Seizing the opportunity, she slipped past him and entered the kitchen. 

She was immediately met with a large display of food spread across the kitchen table that from the looks of it Draco had barely made a dent into. 

“Here.” Draco came up beside her with an empty plate in hand, “I can’t possibly eat all of this on my own. 

She was about to refuse, when Draco turned away from her and broke down in a harsh coughing fit. 

He waved her off from getting closer to help, and stumbled back to lean on a counter, pulling his inhaler with mild frustration. 

He hated it. She could tell. Not being able to control his body and it’s reactions. 

When it ended, he let out a low sigh, sniffling softly. 

He avoided her gaze, and she was so incredibly unsure what to do. If it were Harry or Ron, she would comfort them or ask if they needed anything. Draco...Draco was still an unknown. Not an enemy, but an ally. Not a friend...and yet she didn’t think him a stranger. 

Kreacher broke the awkward silence. 

“Master Draco shoulds be resting and taking cares of himself. He must finish eating.” Kreacher said sternly. 

Draco flashed the old elf a tight smile. 

“Kreacher.” He began, his voice low and hoarse, “Snape brought over some potions yesterday. Could you tell me where -” 

“I will gets the potion Master.” Kreacher said, disapparating with a pop. 

Draco blinked before he shook his head. “Stubborn elf.” he muttered lowly. 

Hermione let out a breath, deciding on her course of action. 

“You alright?”

He startled, seemingly having forgotten she was in the room. 

“Fine.” he said softly, running his index finger under his nose, “S’just my allergies acting up.” 

She felt her brow raise of its own accord. 

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. It sounds more like -” 

“Don’t.” he interrupted quickly, “Don’t. If my dad hears, he’ll force me on bedrest for another bloody week.” 

She couldn’t help the slight quirk of her lips at Draco acknowledging Sirius as his father. She could tell his attitude toward the other had vastly softened since their rather explosive argument. She knew Sirius craved it, something open and warm between them. Yet, she could also understand Draco and his need for distance. . 

She shrugged signaling her assent, and Draco relaxed once more motioning for her to eat. 

She reluctantly took a seat at the table, no longer able to ignore the pangs in her stomach signaling a need for food. However, she kept glancing up to look at Draco. She noticed that he was again wearing muggle clothes, dark jeans and a loose black jumper. Her eyes drifted to his feet, and she realized, with a start, he was only wearing socks. 

She had never in her entire life seen him so casual. He’d always been a smart dresser when she’d seen him at school, and really, even now, in jeans that looked like they cost more than half her wardrobe and a loose jumper, he still looked like he’d stepped out of a magazine.

Life was truly unfair that way. He made her feel vastly underdressed, even if she was essentially wearing the same thing. 

“I don’t get you.” She said without even pausing to think about the words before she spoke. 

His brow rose.

“You're still as much of the sarcastic git you always were, only now you read muggle literature and get involved in fights that are about more than yourself.” She looked away from his gaze, unsure if she would be able to continue if she allowed those penetrating eyes of his meet hers. “And I always knew you were smart, but...” Here she stole a glance at him and found that both his brows had shot up to his hairline. “Were you always like this?” 

_ Complex. Brilliant. Angry. A tad broken._

“Ah.” He finally said as she trailed off, “That’s why you’ve been acting different towards me.” 

His face seemed to grow cold as he withdrew into himself, and she thought she must have truly upset him with her words. It hadn’t been her intention. Not at all. 

“I’ve become a puzzle." He folded his arms against his chest, his eyes glancing down at the table before them. "I suppose it bothers you that I don’t fit into the perfectly labeled box you’ve had for me for as long as we’ve known each other. Not as one dimensional as I led you believe.” he looked up then with his expression caught between a sneer and his patented blank expression. He lent forward on his elbows; his eyes bearing into hers. "I bet the part that's been driving you bloody mad is," his voice dropped, "that you fell for the show I put on. Just like everybody else." 

“That’s not what I meant.” she said weakly, unsure why she was nearly trembling at his words. They weren’t loud or spoken in hot anger. No. They were cold, dipped in cruelty. 

“It’s all me Granger. Maybe parts were exaggerated, but it is all me.” he gave her a knowing look, “and ‘I’d rather be me. Myself and nasty. Not somebody else.’” 

She took a deep breath. His quote shaking her more than she thought right for such a simple phrase from a book. 

“Maybe so.” she conceded, “And maybe I do want to try to understand you, but not...not because of that." She let out a puff of air. Her head was swimming and each breath seemed to come more shaky than the last. "I want to understand is why you see yourself in one self-deprecating way, and I see something else entirely.” 

The coldness seemed to fade into something much more pained; much more lost. It reminded her that Draco was only 17… A man, but not really a man. 

“What do you want Granger?” he let out a breath, and she met his gaze unflinching. 

“I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.” she whispered, a perfect echo from the quote he’d answered her with. 

He recognized it. Of course he would. It was from the same book after all. Though it was more than that, his whole body seemed to shift at her words. 

“What do you want Granger?” he asked again, this time without malice or mirth. 

It felt so much more loaded now. She wanted to fight and win the war, leaving Voldemort as nothing more than a pile of ash and a bad dream. She wanted to keep her friends safe. For her parents to remain so wherever they were. Her eyes landed on his again. 

She wanted to help him. 

Yet, it was not at all what he was asking, while simultaneously being exactly what he was asking. 

“I want to know you.” she repeated, “I...I think we could be friends.”

He gave her a sad sort of smile. 

“I don’t think you really want to be friends with me. You’re intrigued now. It’s clouding your judgement.” he stood and turned to move past her and leave the kitchen. 

“No.” 

She blinked, her eyes drifting to where she’d grabbed Draco by the arm to stop him from moving. 

“No.” She repeated, “I make my own choices.” 

He met her gaze, and they stood like that for quite some time. In fact, he was still studying her carefully when the pop sounded signaling Kreacher’s return with his potion. 

She kept her hand firmly grasping his arm, unwilling to let go until he’d at least spoken his intent. 

“Alright Hermione.” he said lowly, “Alright for now.” 

Only then, did she drop her hand. 

“Good.” she murmured, letting her eyes drift around the room before they settled on a solitary book on the table. 

“Let’s see what you got, shall we?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was something else to watch Draco up close. They'd resumed breakfast, a few short bites before he'd downed his potion quickly and declared that he was going to the library. 

He seemed deliberate in his casual mention of it. 

Maybe he'd determined she was likely to follow him whether he made his intentions known or not. She wanted to think it was a sign that he was at least seriously considering her offer at real friendship. Either way, it was an olive branch regardless of intention. Her offer of friendship had been genuine, but there was something else that had pulled her to follow him. 

She was worried.

Oh what a strange thought that was.   
It was the truth though. 

He hid everything. His ideas and revelations. Both of which seemed to be incredibly valuable for the hunt for horcruxes they were on. There were other things though. 

She had seen him tremble periodically over breakfast. It made her wonder if it was due to the wound or the memories that seemed to catch him unawares as he stared off into space with his thoughts running wild. Even more likely, the remanent tremors were simply the culmination of all the beatings he’d taken while undercover. 

Each possibility had her gut in knots bringing the unmistakable taste of bile to her throat. 

He was keeping quite tight lipped about the entire thing. She had a feeling he knew more about the curse on his arm than he let on.

Like it might be the final thing that kills him. 

She let out a breath, trying to erase such thoughts from her mind, but they’d sent sharp stabs of pain from her gut all the way to her chest. There was no forgetting it now. 

She peeked into the library, and as it tended to do, the sight of the shelves and shelves of books calmed her. 

She spotted him in a corner, nose firmly in a book. He didn’t look up to greet her or acknowledge her presence at all. 

She bit her lip to keep from grinning in amusement before she selected a separate corner that was still full of the books she’d been looking through previously. 

She traced the covers before sitting down slowly into her seat. Her eyes fell to the book she’d been willed by her headmaster. 

The Tales of Beedle the Bard. 

She sighed, flicking through the pages. Why this book? What meaning had he wanted her to gain from it. Nothing about the horcruxes that she knew for sure. It was something else. A clue perhaps?

“Fairytales Granger?” Draco said lowly coming to sit beside her. 

She grinned down at the book in her lap before wiping her face blank and looking up. Draco was looking at her intently, a lone eyebrow raised before he dropped his gaze to the book. Wordlessly, she handed it off to him, watching as he flipped through the pages. 

He paused at one though, tracing the triangle symbol with his brows furrowed. 

“Dumbledore gave it to me.” She said when it was clear he wasn’t going to speak. 

Draco snorted before closing the book. “Well, he always was a crock.” 

She gasped and Draco shot her an amused smirk. 

“I mean he could have told you what he meant while he was alive, but instead, he leaves you with riddles that don’t make any sense except to him.” He said with a hint of bitterness. 

He placed it on the table beside them before letting his eyes drift to the remaining titles she had pulled. 

He seemed calm, more approachable than ever, and really she should take advantage of it. She wanted to pick his mind, figure out how he worked, but she knew there were limits. It would be better to probe safe topics than those he obviously wanted to avoid. 

Fleetingly, her eyes went to his left arm and the hint of white bandage peeking out from beneath his sleeve. 

He probably needed to have them changed. 

She cleared her throat. 

“Do you have any ideas about what…” she took a breath, “What the others could be?”

He looked at her before idly tracing his fingers on the spine of the book in his hand. 

“Well, he seems abnormally obsessed with valuable artifacts; especially those that belonged to the Founders.” 

“I noticed.” She nodded, “I figure there’s probably something representing each founder.”

Draco shook his head. “Not Gryffindor. All those artifacts are well documented and none have ever gone missing.”

Interesting so that left Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. 

“Hufflepuff’s only had one real famous artifact, her cup, and it went missing some odd years ago.” Draco said. 

He sighed then, rubbing his temples with a slightly pained expression. “Which leaves us with Ravenclaw and whatever the last one is.”

She smiled slightly at his inclusive vocabulary before she spoke next. 

“The snake.”

Draco looked up at her.

At his questioning look, she explained how it seemed to have a connection with Voldemort, and by extension Harry. At that, Draco had looked slightly uncomfortable before growing thoughtful as she continued. 

“I suppose that makes sense.” He mused, “That thing has always had some sort of otherworldly cruelty in it.” He grew silent then, seemingly lost in whatever string of memories he had of the creature. She noticed a slight tremor in his hands that he stilled by laying one on his lap and the other to curl around his forearm. 

“They’ll probably be harder to find,” he said absently massaging his arm, “The locket was in plain sight, but the others could be locked up; buried in vaults underground.” 

She shrugged. 

“They could be, but then, we could also speculate that they’re at the bottom of the ocean.” She bit her lip, “We need to be completely sure before we go; otherwise, we’re simply going on a wild goose chase.” 

He glanced at her puzzled at her turn of phrase before shaking his head. 

“Confirmation.” he murmured again seemingly lost in his thoughts. 

She watched him closely, slightly surprised at how introspective he was. Much more than she’d ever taken him for. But then, all her assumptions had been based on a flamboyant facade not the truth. 

He winced, stilling his hand above his arm as his breath caught in his throat. She could tell he was struggling with truly reacting to whatever flare of pain had come over him. It made her wish he wouldn’t do it; hide his reactions and happenings. 

He seemed to notice her staring, because he straightened and smoothed his features into a practiced blank expression. 

She was just about to throw all her caution out the window and simply ask about the curse, when he spoke again. 

“I am sorry you know.” 

She blinked, unsure if she had heard him correctly. 

He clenched his teeth. “For...for dragging you into all the bad blood between Potter and I.” 

All thoughts of his curse left her mind as she sat stunned at his apology. She’d never imagined that they’d ever talk of this.

She swallowed, finding her throat too tight to accommodate the action. 

“Did you...Did you ever believe it? The blood purity stuff.”

He cast his eyes downward at his hand that he was clenching and unclenching over and over. He nodded after a moment. 

“In a way I did.” he said softly, “My father, Lucius I mean, raised me with those beliefs. I was skeptical of most of it mind. But...but some of it seemed undeniable the more I learned about...about where I came from.” He looked at her then, “After all, a muggle did help make Voldemort.” 

She stiffened at that. It was an indisputable truth. She bit her tongue at the immediate rebuttals that came to mind, instead, hoping Draco would continue. It was obvious from how they interacted now that his beliefs had changed, and she was curious of why. 

“I think most of it just came from anger, and I had that in bucket loads.” He dropped his eyes back to his palms, “It was needing and finding something to blame.” 

She let out a breath. 

“What changed?”

“One of my best mates.” Draco smiled slightly, “is unbelievably smitten with a half blood. I met her father more times than I can count, but I think it was her grandfather that really got me.” 

She couldn’t help it, but she felt herself softening and smiling along with Draco. 

“He gave me books. Tons and tons of muggle books that I devoured almost as soon as he’d handed them over.” 

Draco shook his head. 

“Then there was the fact that my other best mate is completely taken with the idea of bar hopping, muggle or otherwise.”

She snorted, and his smile widened momentarily. 

“Yeah.” he let out a puff of air, “After all of that it was hard to deny what was so obviously in front of my face.” 

He sniffed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. 

“Then of course there was you, but then you never fit into the stereotypes people want to assign you.” 

He gave her no room to reply before he’d stood and made his way to leave. 

“Wait Draco.” 

He half turned, the door handle in his hand. 

“Thank you.” 

He gave her a puzzled look. 

“Thank you for talking to me.” 

He shook his head. “You’re odd Granger.” He said with just a hint of a smile on his lips. 

She smiled in return and watched as he opened and slipped easily back out into the hall. 

“I’m not the only one.” She murmured to herself


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione had given him a lot to think about. Most importantly, he had to confirm the cup was in the vault before he began making plans on extracting it. 

He had to meet with Blaise. Their next one was scheduled for a few days from now, but he would have to move it earlier. He couldn’t take the risk that Bellatrix would move the Sword into the vault and adding to what were no doubt numerous protective enchantments already. 

He rubbed again at his temples.The pain from the constant pounding beneath his skull coupled with the pressure of his sinuses was becoming nearly too much.There was no denying it now. He was surely coming down with something. 

He blamed his addled senses and distraction for his apology to Hermione. 

Though, if he allowed himself to admit it, he’d been planning to offer an apology to her. Yet, in his mind, he’d thought it would be much more succinct. 

“You’re fucking up Draco.” he muttered to himself. 

He dropped his hands from his temples and rubbed at his sore throat before lacing them to rest on the back of his neck. 

“Oh I know that look.” 

He shook his head and turned toward the source, raising his brow in question. 

Sirius shot him a wide grin. 

“It’s the look that says I may have screwed up, but I’m not sure, and if I did then it’s going to be a real disaster.” 

Draco cracked a thin smile. 

“So the story of my life.” 

Sirius snorted, running a hand through his hair. 

“That dry wit, Merlin.” He exclaimed, “Cissa must have taught you that.”

His smile widened at mention of his mother before it fell off abruptly from his face. He worried for her. Despite the reassurances he’d had, he knew first hand how quickly the dynamic could change. It was only too easy to issue and follow through with a threat. 

Especially the way the Manor was now.

Sirius came forward and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

“She’s strong, my cousin. A lot stronger than I ever was.” Sirius said softly, “She’ll be alright Draco, and at the first sign of that changing, I will do everything I can to get her out.” 

Draco cast his eyes forward to hide the unshed tears that were no doubt shining within them. 

He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. 

Sirius squeezed his shoulder. 

“But I didn’t come to talk about that.” Sirius said, brushing his hair from his eyes and then palming his forehead. 

He heard him mutter about his fluctuating fever with irritation clear in his tone. 

“How do you feel?” Sirius asked. 

Draco blinked and then shrugged. “Ok.” 

This time, Sirius’s brow rose in an all too familiar manner that it brought a small smile to his lips. 

“A little tired.” he amended before he added what he thought Sirius truly wanted to know, “I should be fine for tonight though.” 

Sirius studied him before letting out a heavy sigh. 

“I wanted to ask you about that.” He began, “Make sure you were comfortable with it.” 

Draco resisted the urge to frown. Admittedly, he was thrown. His own level of comfort and opinion on such decisions had rarely been taken into account in the past. Certainly not by Lucius, or even himself. There were things that had to be done, and so he did them. 

Feelings had never been part of the discussion. 

Sirius seemed to catch his confusion because he shot him a reassuring smile. 

“I…” Draco cleared his throat, “It’s really your decision.” 

Sirius made a sound of disagreement. 

“But,” he continued, “I think I’d rather it only be to those you know are truly trustworthy.”

Sirius looked thoughtfully at him, his eyes narrowed slightly. Draco resisted the urge to fidget under the scrutiny. 

He was reminded, not for the first time, that while his father may have been a Gryffindor, he could have just as easily been sorted into Slytherin had he not been hell bent on being a rebel. 

“I think that’s reasonable.” Sirius finally said. 

Draco nodded as he cast his eyes around the hall. He’d been overcome with the sensation that he and his father were no longer alone. 

“I think you should probably go rest before then.” Sirius continued. For a moment, Draco swore he saw real fear and worry lodged in Sirius’s gray blue eyes. 

“The eldest Weasley is a cursebreaker.” Sirius said quietly, “He’ll be coming tonight. I’d like for him to look at your arm if you’re up to it.” 

Draco swallowed roughly, biting the inside of his cheek. 

When he didn’t answer, Sirius seemed to take it as his refusal and quickly began to reassure him. 

“I know. I know. Even I’m a bit weary to trust them, especially with something like this.” Sirius said, “But his credentials are sound, and I do trust in that.” 

He resisted the urge to retort with something scathing and ridiculing, but he couldn’t muster a single sound. Physically, he didn’t think he could speak against the swelling of his throat. Even more than that he couldn’t bring himself to destroy the glimmer of hope that was in Sirius’s that had even lit a tiny spark in himself. 

“Ok.” he whispered. 

Sirius sighed in relief. “Good. Good.” he said mostly to himself, “Now go rest.” 

Draco nodded while plastering a weak smile on his face. 

Sirius smiled warmly in response before he turned and continued toward the staircase. When his father’s dark head could no longer be seen, he let out a shaky breath before leaning against the wall. 

He closed his eyes, and focused on the simple action of forcing air into his damaged lungs. After a moment, with his eyes still closed, he spoke. 

“Come on out Potter.” 

He heard the rustling of fabric, and when he opened his eyes, he met the green eyes of the so-called Chosen One. 

“I thought you were done spying on me.” Draco said, not even bothering to lace the words with any of his usual venom. 

Potter shrugged. 

“I had an opportunity.” 

He shrugged in response. He waited, knowing that the other was surely bursting with his own questions along with a prepared speech. With Potter, he’d learned, he would tell you everything you wanted to know if you simply gave him time and paid attention to all he said and everything he didn’t. 

“I believe you’re on the right side.” Potter began, “But I don’t care much for all the secrets you still keep.” 

Again, he didn’t bother with a reply. 

Potter clenched his fists in annoyance at his silence, but didn’t rise to voice it. 

“What’s the deal with that curse of yours?” 

Sensing he wouldn’t figure out Potter’s endgame unless he spoke, he finally offered a reply. 

“What do you mean?”

Potter shook his head. 

“Why don’t you talk about it, or let anyone else talk about it for that matter. I’d have thought you’d be desperate to find a way to save your own skin.” 

_you’ve always done. _

It goes unsaid, but it’s quite obviously there. Perhaps, at one point, he had been that person, but not now. No, he was tired, and the anger that had filled and fueled him for years had nearly run out. What hadn't been was redirected and focused on a singular goal. 

Besides, many of those actions of anger had been just that. A script that needed to be followed. 

“Why do you think that is?” he said lowly, “As I’m sure you’re just dying to tell me.” 

Potter growled and after a moment obliged him with his answer. 

“I know him.” Potter stressed, “or rather I know him well enough to guess how he’d punish someone who displeased him.” 

Draco cast his eyes downward, turning his head to Potter to continue. 

“He’ll pick you apart, destroy you in pieces before he let’s death clean up the mess. He’d make it slow. Gradual.” 

Draco let out a strangled breath, not entirely surprised that Potter had been the one to pick up on it. The bastard was perceptive when he wanted to be. 

“And I know you know that too. It’s why you don’t talk about it. You don’t think it’ll make a difference.” 

“Then you know what the end result of that means.” Draco said before sighing and leaning heavily against the wall. He closed his eyes before tiredly opening them and looking up to the ceiling of the hall. 

“My father, Sirius, I don’t think he’ll survive it if I...if I go.” he managed to say, “You’re all he’s going to have Potter.” 

_Take care of him. _

“You’re going to have to actually think through your plans and plots. You have to stay alive.” 

He kept his eyes trained at the ceiling, focusing again on that simple but laborious inhale and exhale of his chest. 

For a while, with only silence between them, he was nearly positive Potter had left. 

“There’s just one problem about all that.” Potter spoke, “I need you alive just like you need me alive.” 

Draco swallowed roughly, bringing his eyes to meet his one time rival’s. 

“You’ve got a lot of valuable knowledge. For fuck’s sake you’ve been a spy for nearly 5 years,” Potter exclaimed, “and I want to learn from you.”

Draco shook his head in disbelief. 

“And you’re right. I don’t think Sirius would…” Potter’s voice dropped, “You’re his son, and he loves you more than life itself.”

He blinked furiously, struggling nearly in vain to pull his practiced mask back on. 

“And there are good people who are behind you. They are going to try every possible thing that may help you.” 

He bit his lip and found himself nodding as Potter spoke. He could have nearly laughed or cried at the ridiculousness of the situation. Here he was getting a comforting pep talk from fucking Potter. 

“Plus there’s Hermione.” 

At that, Draco’s eyes shot to meet the other’s. Potter gave him a knowing smirk. 

“I’ve seen her work miracles in tougher spots.” he looked thoughtful for a moment, “Then of course there’s you, and I hate to admit it, but you’re fucking brilliant.” 

Potter shot him a tight smile at the shock that had easily gripped him at that final confession. 

“And well, you both raised hell against each other. Imagine what you could do together.” Potter finished before turning on his heel and leaving Draco alone within the hall. 

He rubbed tired at his eyelids. 

“You’re fucked mate. Absolutely fucked.” he muttered to himself. 

He shook his head, pulling out a galleon from his pocket and tapping a message to Blaise for the change in time and to bring a bag to carry supplies in. He climbed up the steps, debating which potions he could have ready for Blaise to take to Hogwarts within two days. 

Truly, between the horcruxes, the Golden Trio, the Order, the fucking Carrows at Hogwarts, and the ever present curse blackening his forearm, he had no time for rest. 

“Fucked. Absolutely fucked.” he repeated to himself as he heavily dragged himself up the steps to his room.   
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hermione sat back in her seat as she half-listened to Remus explain the situation to the other Order members. They’d all agreed beforehand not to explicitly mention horcruxes and what they represented. Instead, they’d settled on a separate though plausible alternative. Relics that he’d spelled to draw power from. 

In a way, it wasn’t a lie. 

Frankly, having direction, a plan, anything seemed to at least rally the remaining members. 

They’d lost some already. It was easy to tell by simply looking around the seats of the room. 

Moody was perhaps the most notable and a heavy loss indeed. 

The vacuum of power left with his death seemed to have been split between Remus and Kingsley Shacklebolt. 

Both she respected and held in esteem. They were enduring, surviving, moving along. 

She caught Tonks’s eye again and quickly looked away. She’d been shooting her looks all evening, and she had an idea of why. 

Draco. 

She let out a breath. 

Ever confusing Draco. 

He hadn’t shown to the general meeting, but soon, when most of the members had left, he’d be here. She stole a glance at Sirius, who seemed to hardly be paying attention to anything at all. Though she caught his eyes stray towards Bill periodically. 

Bill. 

A curse breaker. 

She fisted her hand. She wondered how that meeting would go over with Draco. 

Not well, she imagined. 

Concern and tension were practically palpable across the room. Skirmishes had begun. The threat to the Ministry had been all but enacted. Then of course, there had been their bombshell tonight. Voldemort could not be defeated without the destruction of his ‘objects’. 

Saying the mood was weary would have been a gross understatement. 

This wasn’t a meeting. No it felt like more of a funeral. 

Of course, there were those who clung to optimism. Tonks. Molly. On occasion, even Sirius would crack an inappropriate joke that, though weak, brought smiles to many faces. She was happy when it was over. 

As many filed out, Molly would remind them ever so gently that her son’s wedding was at the end of the week 

She snorted. Oh yes, Molly Weasley was reminding everyone. This wedding meant the world to the Weasley Matriarch, and it was obvious she planned on making it an event to remember despite the graying world around them. 

She stole a glance at Harry, who seemed utterly amused at the skeptical, and Ron, who had turned an unflattering shade of red at his mother’s antics. 

The twins were cracking jokes, and Bill, throughout it all, was silently laughing at his family’s behavior. 

It warmed her, seeing their carefree and easy happiness. Gods knew she didn’t seem to have it in her lately. 

As the Floo chimed signaling the last members exit, she took in those that remained. 

The Weasley family. Tonks and her parents. Professor McGonagall. 

And of course there was Harry, Ron, and Remus. 

She could see the slight confusion on all of their faces as they stared in wait at Sirius. It was easy to see that Sirius had no real idea how to exactly break the news that he had to share. Frankly, she did not envy him. 

Sirius opened his mouth as though to speak, when the subject of this secondary meeting, made his presence known. 

“I have to say I thought there’d be a lot more action during an Order meeting.” 

All heads swiveled in the direction of the voice, and for a long while no one spoke. 

Draco, for his part, didn’t seem disturbed at the attention he was getting. In fact, he seemed completely comfortable, standing with one arm leaning against the mantle of the fireplace and one leg crossed in front of the other. He was the picture of nonchalance. 

Then, as though in a trance, Andromeda Tonks stepped forward toward him. 

Draco dropped his arm and straightened before her, and even from her spot across the room, she could see the fondness he had for her glimmering in his eyes. 

“Draco?” Andromeda whispered. 

He bit his lip before offering his small smile in response. Then, in a move that shocked her senseless, Andromeda threw her arms around him and drew him into a tight hug. 

She blinked rather bemused and more than a little confused at the action. This was perhaps the most outgoing and open she’d ever seen the older woman, and seeing it directed at Draco did not ease any of the two most prominent feelings churning in her chest.   
Then nearly as quick as it had happened, the embrace was broken with Andromeda stepping back and adopting a stern expression. 

“Draco Lucius Black. You conniving and reckless snake, how could you let me believe you were dead!” She exclaimed. 

“Aunt Andromeda.” Draco hissed, flushing slightly pink at the scolding he was taking. 

She heard some of the boys snort and stifle laughs at his expense, before Molly silenced them all with a look. 

At that, Sirius seemed to finally shake away the shock from Draco’s dramatic entrance and went to stand beside him. 

“Don’t scold him too hard Dromeda, part of it was my idea.” 

At that, the woman seemed to adopt an even more fierce expression, prepared to offer Sirius a verbal lashing as well. Though before she could do so, it seemed the rest of the members in the room were finally able to comprehend what they were seeing play out before their eyes. 

“As much fun as this is, “ George began. 

“Watching Sirius get his arse handed to him by Andromeda.” Fred continued. 

“I think we’d all like to know what is going on here.” They finished together. 

It seemed the twins had broken the dam that had held the questions floating silently between everyone in the room. Soon a cacophony of voices began speaking, seemingly at once. 

She winced at the loudness of each person, and how the noise levels seemed to rise as more questions were asked and few answered. 

“If the ferret’s Sirius’s son, who’s his mother?”

She stilled, automatically turning to gage Draco’s reaction. His face had gone blank, with his hands balled into familiar fists. Briefly, she wondered how much damage he could do without his wand in sight. Based on the thickening feel of magic in the air, it was probably quite a bit. 

Sirius grew solemn and slowly she heard him recount the story of Elena Malfoy. 

His voice was low, firm, and seamless as he went about his tale. Everyone had grown quite, captivated. Even those, she turned to Molly, Arthur, Andromeda, and Ted Tonks, who doubtlessly knew the first hand account of Draco’s mother were silent. 

When Sirius had finished, he leaned forward seemingly spent after recalling his history and unable to meet anyone’s eye. 

“Sirius.” Arthur began, “Are you certain it’s wise to have the boy here?”

Sirius’s head shot up and, for a moment, Hermione could see just where Draco had gotten his air of danger from. 

“For the sake of my respect for you, I am going to pretend you did not just insult me and my son’s integrity while in my home.” Sirius growled. 

Arthur visibly winced, but before he could issue what could only be an apology, another voice chimed in. 

“I think what we all mean.” George stepped forward eyeing Draco, “is that despite what you’ve told us -” 

“He’s still a Malfoy.” Fred finished, “And we have no reason to trust him.” 

Draco, then, stepped forward,stopping a mere foot from the twins.

“I think I’d like you to elaborate by what you mean by that.” He said in a threateningly low voice. 

Whether the twins caught Draco’s seemingly destructive mood or they had and chose to ignore it, she would never be sure. Either way, both didn’t seem deterred. 

“Lucius may not be your father, but he’s still your uncle. He still raised you.” 

Draco cracked a smile that could only be described as feral. She shivered at it, wondering if he’d learned such an expression as part of his act or from his time spent surrounded by monsters on either side of him. 

“So you think I’m rogue.” he said, a hint of amusement in his eyes as he stepped even closer to the twins, “Sounds familiar” He was circling them now, “The turncoat with a secret agenda who seems to bear the mistakes of his father.” 

She practically heard Sirius’s grimace at that. 

“And maybe his mother.” 

She wasn’t sure which twin had spoken, but she knew without having to see Draco’s face that that had sealed it for him. 

Sirius was growling, and beside him, even Remus looked ready to murder. 

“What?” Draco whispered, his pacing halted. 

“She was a Malfoy too. How do we know that this wasn’t all some elaborate scheme?” Fred said, his hand moving slowly to his side. Most likely, he was closing in on his hidden wand. 

“She was killed.” Draco hissed, “burned alive, something your uncles saw too.” 

“Maybe they thought she was a traitor!” 

“They were weak.” Draco growled, “When they were captured, they knew they were dead. Instead, they thought they’d bargain for their lives, for time.” Draco’s voice rose, “So they gave up the location of an innocent and fellow Order member and her fucking child.” 

When she blinked, Draco had one twin by the collar of his shirt, and the other with his wand pressed to his neck. 

She hadn’t even seen him move. 

“Maybe they thought her relations” Draco spat, “would spare her. They should have known better. Lucius wasn’t even told of the attack, and by the time he knew, it was too late.”

He closed his eyes, and she saw the labored rise and fall of his chest. She inched closer, fully aware of the risks of moving too quickly during such an explosive scene. 

“All of you spineless ginger pricks aren’t even worthy of hearing her fucking name.” Draco said, digging his wand deeper into Fred’s throat. 

“Sirius.” Molly said, desperately pleading with him to intervene. 

Sirius looked at Molly coldly. “If you insist on continuing to insult my family in my home, then you can all leave.” 

“Sirius.” 

She turned to Andromeda, and though her face was decidedly neutral, she could see the anger the witch harbored in the tension in her shoulders. It was obvious that she wanted to diffuse the situation, despite the personal insult the Weasleys had leveled against her family. 

She’d reached Draco now, and tentatively, she placed a hand on his back. 

He shuddered at the action, but did not loosen his grip on either Weasley. 

“Let’s pick our battles.” She whispered. 

He let out a shaky breath, and she glimpsed, just momentarily his exhaustion and pain. 

He dropped his wand and shoved George so that he stumbled to the ground. 

In moments, Fred and George had scrambled back and been caught off guard when Molly pulled them both down by the ear and hissed reprimands at their behavior. 

For a while, no one spoke. 

Then. 

“I believe him.” Harry said. He turned his gaze toward Draco briefly before looking to each of the Weasleys. “I believe the reason he’s here is genuine.” 

It was a hefty claim, one that Harry was clearly reluctant to admit no matter how true he found it. Her heart swelled in pride that he could behave so maturely when those older than them had not. 

She looked at Draco, who was still standing a ways beside her. His eyes were slightly clouded, but the slight nod he sent in Harry’s direction indicated he was at least still paying attention. 

“Me too.” Ron said after a moment jutting his chin in Draco’s direction. 

The crowd seemed to dissolve in murmurs, and she heard the Weasleys all intone an apology to Sirius and by extension Draco. 

The latter still hadn’t moved. Nor reacted really. Hesitantly, she reached out and touched his arm. His breath hitched, and she immediately withdrew. With horror, she registered the wetness of her fingers. 

Draco, still shuddering, closed his eyes. “You’re not there. You’re not there anymore.” he murmured to himself. 

“Draco?” 

When he didn’t respond, she grew bolder. Aware that everyone had seemed to hear her and turned their attention to the two of them, she put her hands on both sides of his face and gently pulled him lower to meet her gaze. 

“Draco.” 

His eyes fluttered open, and he seemed to focus on her. His breaths were quick and wheezing, and it fleetingly crossed her mind that he may need another dose of that medicine for his lungs.   
Seeing the fog dispel from his eyes, she continued. 

“It’s bleeding again.” she said softly.

He let out a puff of air before he dropped his forehead to rest on hers. “Ok.” he breathed, pulling away, “I’m ok.” 

She dropped her hands, and felt her cheeks flush at the many inquisitive looks they were receiving. 

Tonks had stepped closer and at Draco’s nod of permission, she’d taken his arm gently into hers and rolled up his sleeve. 

The bandages were soaked. 

“Oh Merlin.” Tonks muttered. 

By this time, Sirius had come over and gently led Draco to sit down on a nearby chair. 

Without thinking, she moved to the kitchen and summoned new bandages and a blood replenishing potion. 

When she returned, arms full of supplies, she walked in just in time to hear Sirius speak very firmly. 

“We need to talk about this now Draco.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He let out a breath and met Sirius’s gaze. There was no getting out of it this time, no lies he could spin, no words he could use as a distraction. He glanced at the soaked bandages on his arm, and idly began to unwind them before he wandlessly summoned the new ones in Hermione’s hand. 

“Ok.” He said. 

As he began the process of wiping away the blood, his hands were swatted away by Tonks. 

“Speak.” She said firmly. 

He bit his lip, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable with having his vulnerable state on display for everyone here. He winced against the pounding in his skull that seemed to throb in tune to the flares from the wound. 

“Draco.” Without meaning to his eyes settled on Hermione. 

He wasn’t sure what to make of her. She’d seen him faltering and sensed something was wrong. He hadn’t known what to do or even what had triggered the episode. All he knew was at that moment, pain had shot through him like never before, blurring his vision and replacing it with scenes he only ever remembered in nightmares. 

This particular one had been his first taste of what he’d signed up for when he’d agreed to serve Voldemort. 

Blood. On the dining table, splattered on the walls, and dripping down from Nagini’s mouth and painting her shimmering scales. And of course there were the pieces still left on the table. 

He shuddered, still keeping his eyes locked on her warm whiskey ones. 

She’d pulled him out of it. How he didn’t know. Merlin knew he’d tried to do the same for himself and only fallen deeper into the abyss of his mind. 

Even now, he wasn’t sure why he calmed looking at her. She was steady, unwavering even in the most horrible of situations. 

It had been like that even while they were enemies. 

But they weren’t now, where they?

Friends. 

She’d called him a friend. 

It was more amusing than it should be, having someone offer their friendship genuinely to him before he sought it out. It came without obligations, attachments, or expectations. Something that made him feel exceedingly uncomfortable. 

But not enough to abandon it. 

“It’s a curse.” he said hoarsely, keeping his eyes on Hermione like she was the only one in the room. “Or multiple ones I suspect. It seems to just suck all the energy right out of me.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “Keeps me from eating, dreaming anything that isn’t riddled in torture…” 

“You think it’s fatal.” Hermione whispered. 

He nodded once and let his eyes drop to examine the floorboards. Tonks gently let his arm drop, and he heard shuffling before he was forced to look up and meet the gaze of Bill Weasley. 

“May I?” he asked softly. 

Again, he nodded in reply as the other pulled his wand and ran diagnostic charms over the open wound. 

After a moment, he pulled away all too aware of how many eyes were watching the proceedings. 

“Can we...Can we do this privately?” 

Bill looked up at him, a sort of pitying expression on his face that showed he understood how crowded Draco felt. 

“Actually, it would probably be better if we did.” 

Wordlessly, Draco stood and headed out of the room, not even pausing to make sure the elder Weasley was following him. He pulled into a drawing room and sat down in one of the many stiff chairs in the room. He let out a breath, studying the open wound. 

It had stopped bleeding. 

Idly, he thought his cousin had done a good job cleaning it out when he felt another presence join him. 

The door shut softly, and Draco lifted his head to meet the other. 

He could tell Bill felt awkward despite how well he’d hidden it in his confident strides. 

“Well?” Draco asked, leaning back. 

Bill shook his head, giving him a full view of the scars marring his face. He felt momentary guilt at seeing them, but it faded quickly. If he started down that path, he would drown in it. 

“You were right to think multiple curses.” 

Draco nodded, motioning for him to continue. 

“It’s got properties of a magical drain, but it’s not stationary. It’s centered at the arm, but-” 

“It’s already spread.” Draco finished as he began twisting the one piece of gauze in his hand around his arm. 

Bill nodded that pitying expression back on his face. 

Draco wished he could scrub it off the other’s face. He hated it, didn’t want it, and certainly didn’t need it. If this man who didn’t know him felt bad, he could only imagine what someone who did would feel. 

“If it runs its course, it’s guaranteed madness and physical atrophy. I can’t be sure, but I suspect complete magical depletion too.” Bill said with a sigh, running a hand through his longer hair. “I’ve seen something similar before, and I could try to remove it. But...there are reinforcement spells that might retaliate.”

He said nothing, dipping his chin in understanding. 

“I think a Healer should see it before I try anything and be there if I do.” 

Draco bit the inside of his cheek before he spoke. 

“If you attempt a removal, what repercussions…” 

“At best, you’re bedridden for the foreseeable future. At worse, well.” Bill trailed off, speaking more without words than with. 

“It would help seeing how it was cast.” 

His eyes widened and briefly the sound of his own screams rang in his ears. He let out a breath, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“If I do nothing, how long do I have?”

“From what I can see months, but I’m not sure.” 

Draco opened his eyes, and gently he probed his mind forward, seeping softly against the other’s. Bill was being truthful, and while he was hesitant, he was confident in his analysis. Again, that glimmer of hope Sirius had lit grew. 

“But.” Bill began slowly, “I’m not doing it without a Healer also present and you as well as possible.” 

Draco stood and walked to where he stood a foot from the other. 

“Why are you helping me?”

He needed to know. He knew Bill Weasley was genuine. He’d felt his honesty at his weak probe, and he could have slipped fully into his mind for the full answer, but something had stopped him. Oddly, he could respect the other man, but that didn’t stop him from being weary. 

“You’re a kid. You don’t deserve this.”

“You don’t know me.” 

It was quick, defensive, and dripped in his familiar harsh cruelty, but Bill didn’t seem to mind it. 

Their gaze met, and Draco made out true sincerity in the other. 

“No one deserves this.” 

Draco sighed and turned on his heel, pacing as he thought. 

He let his arms snake around the back of his neck, rubbing soothingly at the stiff and soreness of this throat. 

He was willing, he thought, to try this removal procedure. However, there were things that needed to be done before he was put out of commission temporarily or permanently. 

“I need time.” he spoke lowly, “To research the retaliation spells, see a healer, and the like.”

Not a complete lie, but not a complete truth. 

At the very least, he needed to get the cup and sword before he took himself out of the equation. 

He would have said more, but his next breath was interrupted by a short string of coughs. He rubbed tiredly at his face before turning to Bill. 

“A week is probably all around for the best.”

He nodded gratefully. 

“I have to tell them something.” Bill said after a moment. 

Draco tilted his head and studied the other, unsure why he was allowing him to choose what the others would hear.

“Tell them you have to wait a week to gather supplies and cross check some of the spells.” Draco began before he painfully continued, “Leave out the extremity of the symptoms, and...tell the truth about...about how much time I realistically have if we do nothing.”

_But not that I may die if we do. _

Bill seemed to note the omission, and his disapproval was clear even as he agreed to Draco’s wishes. 

They lingered, staring each other down. After a few moments, with his consciousness nagging him, he spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” he cast his eyes to the side of the room away from Bill’s kind ones, “I didn’t know.” he cleared his throat, wincing at the motion. “I didn’t know Greyback would come.”

Again the silence settled between them. Cautiously, he turned his head to look at Bill. 

The older man was watching him intently. 

“You did it for your mum, didn’t you?”

Draco nodded. 

“I’d probably have done the same.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hermione kept feeling her gaze drift to the closed room. It made her nervous, his request for privacy. She was sure he knew more than he ought to about the curse on his arm. If he didn’t want confirmation from Bill voiced out loud, then it was bad. 

She could hear Andromeda still chiding Sirius, even asking if Narcissa was aware of Draco’s whereabouts. 

“She sent him here Dromeda. She sent him because it wasn’t safe for him with her.” 

She saw Andromeda sigh, lines deepening into her beautiful face. 

“He’s never safe, least of all here.” 

She longed to hear Sirius’s response, his defense, anything. She didn’t know why, but hearing Andromeda say such a thing had chilled her down to the hollow of her chest. 

It was the truth. It was the truth for all of them. 

“This might be one of the worst messes my cousin’s gotten himself into.” 

She blinked and made out pink hair at her periphery. 

“Hello Tonks.” she said. 

Tonks smiled warmly at her. 

She waited for the questions to begin for today, for the day before, really for everything. It seemed so obvious to her that her perception and behavior towards Draco had changed that it must be equally as obvious to everyone else. 

Though, right now, she didn’t think she could answer any questions objectively. No. Right now she was inexplicably worried. 

It had reopened and bled. What if it had happened with no one around to pull him out of the trance?

She shuddered at the thought. 

“He’s tough.” Tonks said then, inclining her head toward the room. “Complete hard arse. Doesn’t like help from anyone.” 

“I noticed.” she said quietly. 

“You’ve noticed quite a bit.” 

Hermione recoiled, and Tonks laughed at the action. 

“Relax Hermione.” She said holding up her hands as though to surrender, “I’m making an observation.”

She watched the other witch, studied her face until she was satisfied that Tonks was being truthful. She let out a breath and nodded her understanding. 

A thin smile pulled at Tonks’s lips as she let her bright eyes again focus on the door. 

When she spoke next, her voice was considerably softer. 

“I’m glad though. He doesn’t get close to many people. It’s a good sign.” Tonks said. 

Hermione blinked and was about to ask just why it was a good sign, when Tonks stood and walked toward the room as the door swung open. 

Bill stepped out and Draco followed a ways behind. She watched him. He was so graceful. That had been something she’d always known. Even now with his steps restrained and his head bowed, she still thought so. 

Bill took one last look at Draco before he turned to Sirius who was eagerly waiting for the diagnosis. 

“A week. A week and I should be able to try a countercurse.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quote by Becca Fitzpatrick

He couldn’t sleep. Merlin knows he tried between bouts of coughing. He simply couldn’t breathe, between his screwed up lungs and his stuffed nose suffocating was a real possibility. 

He threw off the covers and rose quietly from his bed. 

He fumbled around for a few potions to take, giving up on the idea that he may drift back off to sleep, before he stumbled to the loo. 

He had to meet Blaise today. Part of him wished he could get it over with now when dawn was just brushing up the earth instead of later when the rest of the house would have woken. 

He shook his damp hair and slipped the jumper of his head, shivering slightly at the warmth it brought. 

He’d been dodging Sirius, both because of all Bill Weasley had spoken about after that fateful Order meeting and because he was now undeniably ill. 

Sirius wouldn’t let him out of his room much less the house if he caught him like this. 

He stuffed a handful of tissues in his pockets before he walked softly toward the library. He had hopes to pass a few hours before he could slip away and meet Blaise. 

He rubbed at his throat before reluctantly summoning and asking Kreacher for some tea. 

He hated this. He always did. He wondered if maybe the curse eating at his insides was somewhat responsible for how quickly this sodding cold had ravaged his immune system. 

He wouldn’t be surprised. 

He also wouldn’t be surprised if it hadn’t. 

He’d always been more susceptible to them. No shock there considering the state of his entire respiratory system. 

He sipped his tea, relishing the way the hot liquid coated his throat as it slid down and warmed his gut. 

He blew his nose as softly as he could before he dropped his head to rest on his folded arms, staring at one of many history texts in front of him. They all had one common theme, Gringotts. 

Something like instinct was telling him the cup was there, and he’d never been one to disregard such a feeling. While he may wait for confirmation to be sure, planning the break in early was a necessity.

He winced at the sharp discomfort from where his head had nudged the tender area of his forearm. 

From what he could see, Polyjuice would work near the front of the bank, it was the back near the vaults that would be tricky. 

He needed an in. Perhaps a goblin that he could barter with to get him to the vault. 

It was where he’d become stuck in his plotting. Dealing with goblins was tricky business. You couldn’t pay them off, they’d scoff and laugh at such an attempt. 

But you could trade. 

He still had access to a plethora of valuables, one of which could be enough to entice some poor Gringotts employee to get him into the vault of a madwoman… or at least close enough that he could try to unravel her blood wards. 

He wrinkled his nose in frustration before pulling another tissue and sneezing into it swiftly. 

He groaned lowly and took another sip from his tea. 

At this point, he was over it all. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She wasn’t sure what had woken her, but the fact of the matter was she was now fully awake sitting on the edge of her bed with her recently showered hair braided neatly down her back. 

It had been fitful sleep plagued with dreams and borderline conscious thoughts and debates. 

After Bill had declared his diagnosis, she’d cornered him and asked if there was any way she could help, research she could do. He’d given her a list, and after her, done the same for Tonks. 

Maybe splitting the work amongst the three of them would help the odds of all of this running smoothly. 

Or so she hoped. 

She wondered if Draco would actually take the advice given to rest for this remaining week. She snorted in faint amusement. Not likely. 

She slipped out of her room and quietly down the steps toward the kitchens where she made quick work of procuring herself a large and steaming cup of tea. 

She padded silently toward the library, mug in hand, not really surprised to see a light on within the room. 

Yes, rest was not likely for someone like Draco. 

He noticed her, inclining his head in greeting before he let his gaze drop back to the book in front of him. 

She shook her head before browsing amongst a shelf for another book that detailed protection spells, particularly those that came into effect after another had been broken. 

A soft sneeze broke her thoughts, and she turned to steal a glance at Draco, who was huffing in clear annoyance. He caught her staring before he turned away from her to softly blow and swipe at his nose.

She rolled her eyes, unable to hide her amusement at his obviously grumpy mood. He’d probably deny anything was wrong if she came out and asked it. 

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” She said taking one of the free seats at his table. 

He gave her a baleful look with one eyebrow arched up in question. 

_Shouldn’t you? _

He seemed to taunt before he shrugged his shoulders, and his face slid into his familiar neutral expression. 

“My nose’s is all stuffy, couldn’t sleep even if I wanted.” he said. 

“You could take a Pepper Up.”

He shook his head and snuffled quietly into his balled up tissue. “Can’t actually. ‘Cause of my lungs.” 

She felt like an idiot as soon as he said it. Of course he couldn’t. Pepper Up, while effective, was extremely potent and abrasive to the airways that eventually healed over. Though in someone with existing damage... 

She didn’t say anything, opting to look through the books he had in front of him. He must have had a similar idea as she. Many of the titles were books she’d skimmed through herself. 

She frowned; though, at the scattered history texts amongst the others. 

What had he been looking for?

Draco, for his part, had gone back to the book in his hand. As he turned the page, she caught sight of the title. 

“Fairytales Draco?” She asked with a pull at her lips. It was a perfect echo to the question he’d asked her. 

He let out a puff of air, closing the book and placing it on the tablet between them. He studied her, and she felt trapped in her seat unable to move under his scrutiny. 

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked, completely ignoring her earlier question. 

“Awake?” She began adopting a cheerful expression, knowing it would irritate him to no end, “I couldn’t sleep either. And we’re friends, aren’t we? Friends sit together all the time. They enjoy each other’s company. They help each other out..” 

He didn’t seem the least bit impressed.

“They tell them to go to sleep because they look like death warmed over?” he said, cutting her off. 

She rolled her eyes. She would have retorted that he was one to talk, but really that would have been a lie. Even with the edges of his face tight from lack of sleep and his skin paler and decorated with gray beneath his eyes, he was far from looking like a corpse warmed. 

Unfair. 

Instead, she shrugged, pretending she wasn’t bothered by his jibe. 

“Well since you mentioned it, shouldn’t you be resting? This aside,” She gestured to his pile of tissues to which he grumbled some weak excuse about allergies. 

“You have a big week coming up.” 

He snorted before he crossed his arms and leaned back into his chair. 

She’d almost given up waiting for a reply when he cleared his throat. 

“Maybe so, but if I rest or don’t rest what difference does it make?” he said letting his fingers trace the cover of the book still between them. 

She pursed her lips. 

“You’re right. Maybe it doesn’t, but it can’t hurt.” She eyed him, studying for any cracks in the front that he never failed to present. “So I suppose the real question is why are you here instead of in bed?” 

“I've got time to kill.” 

Draco’s eyes widened momentarily before he dropped his head to stare at the table, still tracing patterns in the book’s cover. 

She had a feeling he hadn’t meant to say anything at all. 

Killing time.

Killing time for what?

Her eyes narrowed. 

“You’re planning something.” 

He didn’t respond, and by now, his lack of response was beginning to grate her nerves. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, her worry, her waning patience, or her annoyance at his blasé attitude. Regardless, she didn’t think before she spoke next. 

“Do you even care? I mean Christ, don’t you want to get better?” 

He turned his head to the side,suddenly finding the opposing wall vastly interesting. 

“Or have you given up already?” She demanded, standing to lean over the table and for once towering over him. “Is that just your last hurray, getting together all the information you can before you fade into the background to waste away?”

Still she was met with silence, and suddenly, all she wanted was to simply get a response from him. 

“Bill said there was hope, and I know it’s true. I know that -” 

“You don’t know everything Hermione. Fuck, you can’t.” He exclaimed then jumping to his feet and leaning over the table to mirror her. 

She didn’t say anything. It would have been a miracle if she could. She hadn’t been expecting his outburst so soon. Or an outburst at all.

She hadn’t been expecting him to say her name. 

“I am looking at all the facts and reason. I am preparing for every possible outcome, not just the ones I choose to acknowledge because they make me feel better.” he said, “For all your brain and rationality Hermione you aren’t cold from it.” 

“And what’s so wrong with hope?” 

He grew solemn at that, letting silence settle between them once more. 

“I’ve never had it. I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I did.” He said quietly before letting out a breath and dropping his head to once again study the wood of the table. 

“What does it matter to you if I spend now until next week in bed, in this room, or out gods knows where?” he asked. 

“Because I care.” She exclaimed, immediately regretting the words as she spoke them. She flushed, dropping her eyes down to the table. 

She registered then how close their hands were, merely inches. 

On impulse, she took one of her hands to lay over his. They were so much bigger than hers. Lithe with long fingers. Her hand looked so tiny in comparison. 

She squeezed and felt him shake ever so slightly against her touch. 

“You're asking for trust. And I want to trust you.” He whispered without looking at her, “I don’t normally want that.” 

She could feel her heart practically pounding against her ribs, echoing in her ears loud enough that she was sure he could hear it. 

She kept her eyes on the table. 

“Then trust me.” She whispered back. She felt his eyes lift to settle on her. 

“I have to do this.” he said instead, “I have to. Even if it takes me to my last breath.” 

She shuddered at that. 

“And what about all the rest of us? How do you think we’ll feel if you…” she trailed off unable to continue. 

He turned his hand to cradle hers in his palm. “I never said I was a martyr, just that I had things to do.” he said laughing softly. 

“Draco…” 

“I’m not tired. When I’m tired, I’ll rest.” he said giving her hand a firm squeeze. 

She mourned the loss of warmth from his hand as he stood. 

She looked up and he gave her a thin smile, one that though weak was genuine. 

“That you care means more than you know.” he said softly before giving her a wicked sort of smile and turning on his heel. 

“Cover for me, will you.” he called over his shoulder as he strode from the room. 

She didn’t have a moment to respond before he was gone and the soft crack of his apparition rang in her ears. 

She slumped back into her chair staring at the teacup he’d left in his wake. 

“Draco you’re going to give us all a heart attack.” She muttered before she reached for one the books and forcefully opened it. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Narcissa had once told him that to blend in one had to simply look like they belonged. 

She’d been right, in her own way. Ease was something taken for granted but noticed when it was absent. 

At the moment, he was anything but. 

He was at the point where he could accept he felt like absolute shit. His head throbbed and breathing was becoming a chore, but that was all physical discomfort. Something he was familiar with and able to bite down and bear it. 

No. That wasn’t what was robbing him of his ability to simply sit back and down a shot of firewhiskey while he waited for Blaise. 

_I want to trust you. _

He wanted to bang his head on the table with frustration.   
Since when did he speak so freely and lay his sentiments out for others to speculate?

He balled his fists beneath the table, ignoring the sting of discomfort in his left arm at the motion. 

It wasn’t as though he could deny they weren’t true. He did. He did want to trust Hermione Granger. Merlin, he didn’t understand it himself. 

She was a good ally to be sure. She was steady, collected, brilliant, unwavering. She was firm, and when she wanted she was a force to be reckoned with. 

But even that wasn’t it, was it?

She didn’t expect anything from him. Not how he acted. Not what he said. No, she’d wiped her slate of him clean and was watching to learn...to see him and only him. 

And as well meaning as she may be, it was dangerous and had to end. 

He was a dying man, and dying men can’t afford mistakes. 

No matter how kind they were. 

He was broken from his reverie with the sound of approaching footsteps. He inclined his head in greeting at the seat beside him was filled and placed one of the shots he’d ordered beside the other. 

Blaise nodded in thanks before leaning back to watch him. 

He wondered what he saw. 

He knew his glamour was flawless as always, but that had never stopped Blaise from finding cracks and information before. 

He was a lot like he was in that way. When you were fishing for tells, it wasn’t always about the face. It was in the posture, hands, stance, angle of the other. 

Like him, Blaise was raised to know to look for such things and to refrain from doing the same himself. He’d met Blaise’s mother all but once in his life, and it was something he never wanted to repeat again. The woman had been the embodiment of cool cunning with eyes that cut and a smile that begged to draw blood from the other. 

He understood why Blaise avoided home on holidays. 

It made him laugh to think that pureblood idealist Ms. Zabini (or whatever her current last name was) had driven her only son to seek refuge from her in a world she’d taught him to hate. 

Irony had never tasted so sweet. 

Blaise downed his glass and placed it by his still full one, giving him one last look. 

“What’s with you today?”

Draco cracked a thin smile toying with his glass. 

“You know me. The usual.” 

Blaise shook his head with a faint smirk. 

“So girls and your plans for conquering the world?”

“I never said I was conquering it.” he retorted with good humor. 

“Ah but you could if you wanted, and then Merlin help us all.” Blaise grinned plucking the shot from his hand and drinking it himself. 

He rolled his eyes at Blaise’s theatrics before he sighed and leaned tiredly over the table. 

“Everyone?”

Blaise nodded. “Fine. Holding on best they know how.” 

He nodded, idly massaging his arm. 

“The search?”

Blaise huffed rubbing at his face. “Hard mate. Every idea we have is almost immediately shut down. First there was Ravenclaw’s alchemy notes, but those are in the Department of Mysteries and they’ve never left. She had a ring that went missing, but again dead end. It’s like looking for something in the middle of nothing. We’re searching for a gem amongst junk. Nearly impossible.” 

Something about that tugged at Draco’s brain. It was so painfully familiar, as though the answer was dancing at the tip of his tongue. 

He let out a breath resolving to figure it out later when his head was clearer. He sniffed rubbing at his stuffed nose before letting out a puff of air. 

“We need an alliance.” he muttered, “Surely someone in Ravenclaw might have a clue. The Baron always told us tales of Slytherin that no one else had heard. The eagle’s ghost could have done something similar.” 

“I doubt the Gray Lady will be snitching to a snake anytime soon.” Blaise said flatly. 

Draco shook his head. 

“Oh don’t give me that Blaise. You left quite a mark on the eagle’s nest as I recall, and you never let an open door close.” he leveled his friend a look, “I’m sure one of those poor sods would help given your history.” 

Blaise dropped his gaze to his palms, squaring his jaw.

It gave Draco the impression that if Blaise’s dark skin could show it, the other would be blushing furiously. 

Now that felt familiar. 

“I mean off the top of my head I can think of that one girl from the year below us, Selene or Sabrine.” he teased, “Or even that bloke. Terrence wasn’t it?”

“Prick.” Blaise hissed. 

“Bastard.” 

“Slut.” 

“Like you’re one to talk.” Draco snorted. 

Blaise laughed. Draco, momentary taken with how blissfully normal their banter was, joined him before the action turned into a harsh cough that rattled in his chest. 

He dropped his eyes to the table at the fit’s finish, sighing lowly. He didn’t have to look up to know that Blaise’s eyes were back on him in that sharp and inquisitive manner of his. 

“You sound awful mate. Should you even be out?”

He bit his tongue and looked up, debating whether he should defend, deflect, or lie through his teeth. In the end, he merely let another breath. 

“It’s just a cold.” he said in a low voice. 

“Which are disastrous for you.” 

He groaned, “Leave it mate.” 

“Draco.” 

“Believe me Blaise when I say I do not need another father.” he said sniffling into his sleeve. 

Blaise let out a sigh in defeat, shaking his head. 

He got the strange sense he was being scolded. 

He shook the thought away before reaching into his pocket to pull out the shrunken bag of supplies he’d gathered. 

Blaise took the offered bag quickly with a murmur of thanks. 

“I don’t suppose you have anything for me?” he asked. 

Blaise shook his head in answer. “Soon, but not yet.” 

He nodded, jaw clenched in irritation. He needed to move quickly, but it seemed the rest of the world couldn’t follow. 

He winced at the momentary flare up from his arm, automatically covering it with his other hand. 

Blaise seemed to know better than to comment on the action. 

“I hope you have plans to actually take it easy this weekend.” 

He snorted in response. “Believe it or not I’m going to a wedding.” 

Blaise looked at him as though searching for the lie before he let out a low laugh. 

“Not yours I hope.” he joked, “Or are dead men as active as the living?”

For some reason the joke left a bitter taste in his mouth, and not for the first time that day he felt tired. His mind went unbidden to a vision of warm whiskey colored eyes. He had to physically shake his head to dispel the image. 

_Keep it together Draco._

Blaise’s smirk was in his voice when he spoke next. 

“Ah. Now what is that my dear Slytherin Prince?”

“Come off it Blaise. Nothing will come of it.” he said quietly. 

For a moment, neither one of them spoke. 

“Draco.” Blaise said after a moment, “I know you. I’ve known you since nappies and toy brooms were our entire world, and even then I’ve only been able to spot one of your lies for one of two reasons.” 

“Blaise.” he cut him off, the warning clear in his tone. 

Blaise let out a breath. 

“Mate, for once in your miserable life, “ he paused, “What is it you want?”

“Blaise.” he said intent on ignoring the question that seemed to be ringing in his ears nonstop now that it had been asked., “I need a favor.” 

The other looked momentarily intrigued, though the disappointment at his dodging of the true question was clear in his gaze. 

“Gringotts.” Draco continued. 

At Blaise’s questioning look, he launched into a brief explanation of his suspicions. 

“Are you still close with those goblins you used to do business with?” 

At Blaise’s nod, he made his request. “I need to know about Bellatrix’s movements. How often she’s been, how long, if any modifications have been made to the vault.” 

Blaise’s eyes narrowed, and he could see the gears turning as he finally pieced together the true reason for the odd request. 

“And if my answers are what you’re hoping for…” Blaise trailed off. 

Draco bit the inside of his cheek. 

“Then I’ll need to know which goblins might be agreeable to negotiations.” 

Blaise’s breath hitched as he ran both his hands through his hair. 

“Mate be careful. You’re playing a very dangerous game.” 

“I always do.” 

Blaise shook his head. “Draco. Sometimes I wonder if all of this… this risk and fixation has stopped you from just living. Like all this time, all you’ve been doing is just existing.” he finally said after a moment before standing swiftly. 

“I’m not sure who it’ll be next” he continued, “But mate be careful, and...take my advice and find out what it is you truly want.” 

He didn’t have a chance to respond before Blaise had moved and was out the door. 

He slumped in his seat leaning his elbows on the table for his hands to cradle his head as he grew lost in his thoughts about how many more pieces he still had to move. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Merlin help her, but Hermione did cover for him. She lied, and each time she did it she hoped against all odds that he was alright and that this lying would be worth it. 

He wanted to trust her, and for some strange reason, she wanted to prove he could. 

She was pretty sure that Ron was suspicious, and Harry outright didn’t believe what she was saying. Though it hadn’t been her friends she was concerned about, it was Sirius. 

He meant well, she knew he did, but somehow she felt she’d gained some new understanding to Draco. The more anyone tried to box him in, the more likely he was to find a way out. 

He didn’t want to be trapped, and forcing him on bed rest was effectively that. 

She knew if it were her that she would want to carry on as normal as possible. Though she doubted she would constantly risk venturing out just to prove a point. 

And yet, that didn’t seem to be the attitude behind his excursions. 

He had purpose. He wanted to show his worth, and it made her think that he felt he constantly had something to prove. 

She wondered what had made him that way, what had made him unable to simply admit when he needed help. 

Unable to acknowledge that he wasn’t 100%; that he needed comfort or rest or anything that was undeniably soft in comparison to his roughened exterior.

Part of her didn’t want to know. 

“I’m sorry Harry that we haven’t had as much time to just talk.” 

She paused from her descent down the stairs toward the kitchen, recognizing Sirius’s voice echoing above her. 

She heard someone sigh, knowing somehow that it was Harry. 

“It’s alright Sirius, truly with everything going on...I understand.” 

“Yes, but I still should be asking how you are with all of this. I know Draco can be a bit much.”

Harry snorted, and even she had to resist the urge to mimic the action. 

Draco had never been ‘a bit’ of anything in his entire life. 

“He’s...he’s not what I thought. Ironically, in a good way.” Harry said after a moment. 

This time Sirius let out a tired breath, and without having to see him, she knew he was exhausted and riddled in worry. 

“It’s just so hard with him.” Sirius sighed, “Harry...Be honest, am I completely bollocks at this? Being a parent.” 

They were both quiet for a moment, and she held her breath, anxious over what Harry’s answer would be. 

“I think you’re doing all you know how to do, but right now, I think you need to just wait for Draco to come to you.” 

But what if he never comes?

She shook the thought away, quickly resuming her steps down to avoid hearing Sirius’s reply. 

She stumbled down quickly and into the kitchen without stopping anywhere else. 

Ron looked up at her from where he was seated at the table, a questioning look plastered on his face. She ignored it and walked over and took the seat beside him. 

Ron let out a breath when it was obvious she didn’t plan to speak anytime soon. He stood and wordlessly began making a second sandwich that he set before her along with a mug filled with warm hot chocolate. 

“Thank you.” she said quietly taking the mug into her hands and savoring the way the warmth spread across her palms. 

She took a sip before she placed the mug back on the table and met Ron’s gaze. 

He squared his jaw. 

“So where’s he run off to this time?”

She swallowed her bite from the sandwich quickly, nearly choking as it lodged in her throat. 

She debated lying, but quickly dismissed it. She didn’t particularly want too. 

“I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders.

Ron gave her a funny look. “And you’re still covering for him?”

She shrugged again before taking a deep breath. 

“I want him to trust us, maybe then he’ll start letting us in on these ideas of his.” her voice dropped, “He got one all on his own Ron. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows where all the rest of them are, and I want…” 

“To do something.” Ron finished with a nod, “Yeah me too.”

She took another sip of hot chocolate, grateful that Ron at least understood that part of her confusing actions. 

“Snape came by earlier.”

She perked up at that.

“And?” she asked. 

Ron shrugged, watching her closely, “He’s got the replica and making the switch in a day or two. Brought over some more potions and said he was looking for a trustworthy healer to come and check out Draco.” 

“Good.” she murmured, somewhat more to herself than to Ron, “The sooner he’s checked the better. I can’t be sure, but I think it must be worse…” 

Ron said nothing, instead he reached out and took one of her hands into his. 

“Mione.” he let out a breath, “Be careful with this save Draco project you have going.”

She withdrew her hand. “Ronald, I hope you aren’t saying what I think you are.” she said sharply. 

He winced. “Blimey Hermione, all I’m saying is the ferret may not have been who we thought, but we still don’t know him, and you should be careful.”

“From what Ronald. He’s ill -” 

“I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve help.” Ron cut her off, growing slightly pale as though recalling the sound of Draco’s tortured scream after the first incident. “But I know you Mione, and you throw yourself head first in all your projects and…”

“He’s a person not a project Ronald.” She said crossing her arms. 

He leveled her another look of doubt. “And some people aren’t ready for someone like you.” he finished. 

She slumped in her seat, slightly dumbfounded at Ron’s surprising insight. 

“And just like he’s not ready, I’m not sure you’re ready for someone like him.” 

Ron stood and in an uncharacteristic move took his plates and deposited them into the sink before he abruptly left her alone in the kitchen, pondering about what all he’d said. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He stumbled slightly as he landed from the apparation. His head was still spinning and it wasn’t helping the raging migraine he was currently sporting. He sniffed as he came to lean against a table. Biting his lip, he stared up at the tapestry before him, his hand coming up to run through his hair. 

As it always did, his eyes went automatically to Sirius’s name and immediately after that to Narcissa’s before dropping to his. 

_What do you want?_

He snorted, wincing at the soreness in his throat at the motion. 

All he wanted right now was the sick bastard dead before he was, was that so much to ask?

The rest...well... the hell if he knew.

His arm was throbbing again, nothing new really. It constantly did now, sucking him dry of any energy he may have, but unable and unwilling to fall asleep to recharge.

He felt another presence join him. 

“I thought you wouldn’t be sneaking off again.” Sirius began. 

Draco kept his back turned, suddenly incredibly interested in the woven thread in front of him. He took his time before answering, mindful of the thickening of the air in the room. It was just waiting for a single spark before it all blew up around them. Any word out of turn and they’d never stop. 

In this state, he wasn’t sure he wanted to speak let alone argue with anyone.

“I am of age." He said mildly, "And I'm not exactly under house arrest." He shrugged a shoulder. "It’s no less than what you’ve done before.” he added offhandedly. Though as soon as he had said it, he immediately regretting it. 

“How many times do I have to spell it out for you? There's no reason to put yourself in unnecessary danger. It's more important that your safe. The rest of what you're doing isn't half as important."

Draco shook his head before whirling around to meet Sirius head on. His own thoughts of caution seemed to have been thrown out in favor of following his temper. 

“Why am I suddenly important? Because of this?” he gestured to the tapestry, “Because that’s all I’ve known. How important I am because of this side of my line and even more from the other. No other reason.” He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation, “ What does it prove? That we’re Princes? Princes in a country that doesn’t need kings.” 

“Draco.”

“You didn’t care. You gave it up. Hell, you gave up me for what you believed in. What if I’m just doing the same?”

“You’re smarter. You are nothing like me.” Sirius said

“I am exactly like you.” his voice rose, throwing his arms out, “Hasn’t all of this proven that I am exactly like you?”

His balance faltered and he stumbled back so that his back was against a small tea table in the room. 

“And I hate it. You weren’t there. How could I turn out to be so much like you?” he choked out, his vision blurring. 

With horror, he felt his cheeks grow wet. He ducked his head and brought his hand to rub off the offending moisture. 

He was so caught up in the whirlwind of highs and lows his emotions were bouncing between that he didn’t notice Sirius step closer to him and drape his arms around him to pull him closer. 

“It’s alright Draco. Let it out.” 

He choked, unsure why exactly he was falling apart right now. Was it just all the stress finally beating down on him when he was already drained and sick? Or perhaps he’d just been building to this breakdown since the first argument he’d had with Sirius coupled with the dark cloud of cynicism that hung over his future or lack thereof. It didn’t matter, but in that second he truly seemed to break and as hard as he tried he couldn’t contain the sob that tore out of his throat. 

“It’s alright.” Sirius soothed. 

He found himself shaking his head against his father’s chest. He was quickly becoming an incoherent mess, but those words sparked something ugly and desperate in his chest. 

“It’s not.” he whispered, “It’s not at all. I’m fucking terrified...I’m not ready...I’m not ready to go…” 

“Shh.” Sirius said tightening his hold around him, “I would never let that happen. You know I never would.” 

He’d been trying so hard to avoid actually thinking about what was happening. He had hidden behind facts, tasks, and plans to keep any encroaching feelings from coming over him. He’d put on his mask determined not to let anyone see how truly beaten down he was...how afraid. He’d wanted to pretend, to convince even himself, that he could accept whatever end he met with this curse eating him from the inside out...that he didn’t have regrets. 

But he did. Merlin he did. 

He thought of all the times he’d hidden how he’d felt, what he’d wanted, and for what? 

At Malfoy Manor, he’d lived a mostly cold life, where genuine sentiments were never truly voiced. 

He knew his mum knew he loved her, but he wished he’d told her more. 

And then of course there had been Lucius, and he wished he’d gone against his upbringing and shouted, raged, and argued against Lucius more than he had. In this state, he could foolishly believe that perhaps it might have made a difference in the way the story had been spun. Because, even though Lucius was cool and restrained with bones that seemed to be made of iron, he knew that something warm and beat to a rhythm was still lodged in his chest. 

They were still family, and that notion alone might have been enough had they chosen to actually behave like one. 

Finally, there was Sirius. He wasn’t sure he’d ever told him much of anything. His frustrations, recently his anger, but never something raw or pure or heartfelt. Even now he couldn’t say that he loved him, so he did in a manner he knew. The way the pain seemed to be gripping each bit of his body had him convinced he was running out of time to do so. 

“Dad.” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” He managed before he choked on another shuddering hiccup of a breath. 

Sirius didn’t say anything and if possible he held him tighter as he continued to sob against him. 

When he could finally breathe again, his face was slick with tears and his nose was running while he shivered and shook from both exhaustion and what he imagined was fever. 

He pulled away from Sirius and coughed lightly into his arm before he began to rub at his face to wipe away the tear stains. 

It was odd. He felt light now. The burden of everything he still had to do was still there, only it seemed...manageable, shared even. 

Sirius gave him a thin smile. 

Suddenly, he felt incredibly mortified at what he’d just done seeing the wet spots across his father’s shirt. 

Oh Merlin. 

“It’s fine.” Sirius said interrupting his string of thoughts, “It’s completely fine Draco.” 

He let out a breath before he nodded in understanding. 

“I...I’d like to just be alone for a bit.” he said, his voice scratchy and strained. 

Sirius looked like he wanted to protest, but after a moment seemed to think better of it. 

“Alright.” He sighed, “If you need anything call for Kreacher.” 

He nodded again and even managed to shoot Sirius a weak smile. 

He waited until Sirius’s footsteps had faded into nothing before he slumped inward onto himself. He debated what he was going to do now, because without a doubt, he knew the last major wall he’d had between him and his father had been irrevocably broken.   
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She’d grown anxious waiting for Draco to return. She’d tried to busy her mind to both ignore Ron’s echoing warning and keep herself from wondering what exactly was keeping Draco. 

She had no shame in admitting she was worried. He was cursed, obviously tired, and sick no matter how much he would probably argue against that last fact. 

And as much as she worried, she was even more curious. Who did he go out to see? Not Snape, at least not this time, as he’d come to the house. It wasn’t that she was worried he might be playing them all.

She just wanted to see who he seemed to value enough that he would risk easy capture just to meet with them. 

She’d taken to wandering, up and down and back and forth through the halls and stairs of Grimmauld Place. 

It was a remarkable house, more so now with all the work Sirius had put into fixing it up. It twisted and turned, humming with old magic that she could practically taste on her tongue. 

This. This was the advantage of coming from magical blood, being able to build something to last for generations. To make a mark and offer protection to your descendants. 

The sentiment had just been twisted into something ugly and riddled in racism and bigotry. It couldn’t have always been like that. 

And hopefully it wouldn’t be like that in the future. 

She paused at the end of this hall, her eyes settling on the room at the end which housed the Black family tapestry. She was contemplating going there when a pair of footsteps sounded another’s arrival. 

She froze excuses on her tongue when Sirius came into view. He stopped abruptly, staring at her in disbelief before he seemed to recover. 

Then, as though discomfort had never been decorating his face, he smiled a rather large and charming smile. His eyes were lit in amusement in a way that left her slightly nervous and her cheeks rapidly warming. 

“If you’re headed where I think you are,” he began, leaning in as though to whisper conspiratorially with her, “I’d wait just a little longer. By then, he’ll be calmer.” 

She blinked, easily putting together just who they were speaking about. Her heart fluttered and she fumbled her denial and excuse. Sirius had shrugged them off easily, winking at her before he stepped to continue down the hall. 

He’d been considerably lighter than she could recall him being recently. 

It continued to feed her curiosity. 

She took a breath, contemplating what she should do as she paced a few feet from her spot in the hall. After quite some bit of time, she drew in a breath and squared her shoulders ready to make her way down the hall. 

Her step didn’t falter until she stood a foot from the door. 

“You’re a Gryffindor Hermione.” She muttered to herself before she took one last breath and went into the room. 

All her worry was for not. She bit back her small smile at the sight that greeted her as she entered. 

Draco was slouched in one of the many uncomfortable chairs in the room with one leg thrown haphazardly over the arm and one of his arms propped up to cradle his head. He almost seemed to be spilling out of it, but despite the discomfort of his position, she’d never seen him so relaxed. 

Now that stress wasn’t present in his face, her eyes swept clearly over the dips and edges from his jaw to his forehead and pausing to examine (with envy) his long lashes that were brushing the tips of his cheekbones.. With a start, she realized he did look so much like Sirius that it was a wonder she hadn’t seen it before. 

It had been clouded with her perceptions of him and even more so by his behavior. He carried so much that seeing him without his burden was like seeing an entirely different person. 

_He was abominable...and the most alluring, tortured soul I'd ever met.___

_ _She called out his name softly, and he stirred for a moment before dropping back to nestle even more into the chair. _ _

_ _He looked slightly groggy, sleepy and uninhibited in a way she’d never seen him. It humanized him. _ _

_ _Enough so that she no longer had any qualms about approaching him. _ _

_ _She shook him gently. _ _

_ _“Come on sleepy head, I think your bed might be more comfortable.” she said, still keeping her voice low. His eyes fluttered open still blurry with sleep clinging drowsiness. _ _

_ _“I’m awake.” Draco mumbled, swatting her hand away, before he pulled himself up. He rubbed at his face, before he dropped his hand to run his knuckles under his nose. _ _

_ _She tugged at his arm. “Come on let me help you up to your room and you can go back to sleep there. It might help you get over this bug faster if you actually rest.”_ _

_ _“Stop it, I’m not sle… ah…” he swatted her hand before he turned away from her and sneezed softly into his wrist. He sniffled, not meeting her gaze. _ _

_ _“Yes. Yes.” She said softly, pulling him by the arm, “You’re not sleepy, and you’re not sick. I know.” _ _

_ _He grumbled, but allowed her to pull him out of the armchair. He half turned away from her to cough, a rattling sound that made her wince at the harshness of it. _ _

_ _“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” _ _

_ _He gave her a sleepy smile. “But Granger I hardly know you.” he rasped. _ _

_ _She resisted the urge to smile. “Come on Draco. I think this cold is starting to addle your brain.” _ _

_ _He frowned before shaking his head to laugh softly, letting her lead him out of the room and to the stairs. _ _

_ _“Why do you insist on sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?” He muttered when they finally reached his room. _ _

_ _She shook her head and opened the door to lead him inside.   
“We’re friends. You know that Draco. It’s getting rather tiresome reminding you.” _ _

_ _He snorted, breaking into another coughing fit at the action. He pulled away from her and dropped unceremoniously onto the bed before he rolled onto his back and pulled out his inhaler from his pocket. _ _

_ _“Don’t you have too many friends?” he asked after puffing in his medicine and tossing the inhaler at his bedside. _ _

_ _Slowly, she came up and sat at the edge of his bed. She let out a breath. _ _

_ _“Maybe you just have too few.”_ _

_ _“It’s better that way.” he sat up watching her intently, “Getting closer to people, giving up some part of you to someone else. It makes you weaker.”_ _

_ _It makes you strong.” she argued, “It makes you strong because you do it anyway, knowing it would make you weaker, more vulnerable.”_ _

_ _Unintentionally, she’d edged close enough so that their hands were nearly touching atop his covers. His eyes drifted momentarily to their hands, but he made no move to distance himself from her. _ _

_ _“I hope you don’t regret it. Being friends with someone like me.” he finally said sitting back against his headboard. He fiddled with the gauze at his arm, casting his eyes downward as though to avoid hers. _ _

_ _“Draco-” she began._ _

_ _He sniffed running an index finger under his nose, but still not meeting her eyes. _ _

_ _She could feel her response die on her lips as she took him in, shivering slightly, nose running, and still somewhat groggy from need for more sleep. _ _

_ _She’d confront him another time. _ _

_ _“If you can’t take a Pepper Up, isn’t there something else that could at least help?”_ _

_ _He looked up at her then, eyes narrowed in question and suspicion at her easy concession. After a moment, he shrugged and jutted his chin towards his potions drawer. “I might in there.” _ _

_ _She sighed getting up to rummage through his mini apothecary. By the time she was through, she’d forced three different potions into him and a full glass of water. He was already beginning to nod off again from their combined effects by the time she was through._ _

_ _“Good night.” she murmured standing ready to leave him to sleep._ _

_ _He blinked up at her and took her arm, seemingly on impulse. _ _

_ _“Thank you,” he said sincerely, “for helping me up here.” _ _

_ _She nodded and smiled at him. _ _

_ _He let out a puff of air. _ _

_ _“This idea of friends that you have.” he said biting his lip, “do they trust one another?”_ _

_ _She almost wanted to tease him, but she quickly abandoned the thought. He looked too genuine, too innocent, in that moment to risk ruining it. _ _

_ _“They do.” she murmured. _ _

_ _He nodded once._ _

_ _“Then I suppose we are friends.” _ _

_ _He dropped her arm. _ _

_ _She could feel her heart fluttering at that. She grinned widely. _ _

_ _“Good.” she said. _ _

_ _He smirked. “You’re entirely too easy to please Hermione.” he said, the end being cut off by a large yawn. _ _

_ _“Maybe.” she murmured reaching over and pulling up his covers. _ _

_ _“Night.” he muttered, turning on his side to bury his head in his pillow. _ _

_ _“Good night Draco.” _ _

_ _She slipped out as quietly as she could and eased the door shut. She let out a breath as soon as she was safely in the hall and leaned back against the door. _ _

_ _Her hand went to her arm. _ _

_ _“We are friends, Draco,” she said softly to herself, “Now start acting like it.”_ _


	10. Chapter 10

Draco let out a breath, shuffling slightly before the grave in front of him. He looked down at his shoes, scoffing one of them into the earth. 

He’d needed a break, a breather really, from all the hovering and crowding. 

Being confined to a room, to an entire house really, made him feel as though he was fated to only exchange one prison for another. 

He shivered. 

_Trapped._

_ _Just the word brought back images and sensations from punishments he’d blocked out over the years. _ _

_ _He thought the muggle word for it was claustrophobia, and yet, he felt it was a completely inept way of describing what the enclosement symbolized for him. _ _

_ _He sniffed and rubbed at his nose. _ _

_ _His cold was better, but not enough that he didn’t still feel slightly under the weather. _ _

_ _He just wanted to scream. The melancholy and desperation was now being overshadowed by his utter frustration at every and anything. _ _

_ _He balled his fists from where they were shoved deep into his pockets and fell to the ground. _ _

_ _“Well Mother.” he murmured studying her grave, “What the fuck should I do now?”_ _

_ _He shook his head. He’d come here for space, escape, before he was forced back into the house and later into the tent where the Weasley wedding would take place. _ _

_ _The whole thing filled him with a sense of dread. _ _

_ _He’d wanted to just forget. To forget and not be himself. Not Draco Malfoy. Not Draco Black. Nothing. He wanted to be nothing for a while. _ _

_ _He bit his lip, thinking then of something that could help with that. He hadn’t done it in ages, and part of him was almost concerned he couldn’t anymore. _ _

_ _He banished that thought quickly for the utter ridiculousness of it. _ _

_ _“I’m going to join you one day.” he muttered at the headstone, closing his eyes, “Just not yet.” _ _

_ _He took a breath, leaning his head back before he shifted.   
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Becoming an animagus was probably the most impulsive and ill-thought idea he’d ever had. _ _

_ _In retrospect, he knew that his justifications for even considering the attempt had been childish. Yet, at the time, he’d simply been unable to truly think clearly. _ _

_ _He was upset. _ _

_ _More than that he was angry. _ _

_ _It had been the middle of fourth year, which already had had a rather awful start to it to begin with. Lucius had been incredibly short tempered whenever they’d spoken, or he was summoned back home for another round of ‘lectures’. The tournament had been in full swing. And of course, there was the fallout of his rather anticlimactic reunion with Sirius. _ _

_ _He’d known that year that he couldn’t really afford to let anything slip of the changes in his rather tumultuous personal life so he’d lashed out and made increasingly terrible decisions. _ _

_ _It was also probably the year he’d hated Potter the most. _ _

_ _He wasn’t really jealous of his entry into the Tournament, far from it, it was more the principle of everything he embodied. _ _

_ _He could have gotten away with murder and Dumbledore would have sat him down, comforted him, and offered extended therapy sessions. _ _

_ _And then there was his relationship with Sirius. _ _

_ _Really, he knew he wouldn’t truly be able to see him often, but he’d thought during the holiday break that he’d have some opportunity. It had been foolish, considering that Potter would without a doubt be journeying to Grimmauld Place if he had the chance…_ _

_ _He’d felt the true burden of his cover then. Second. He had to be good but never enough. He had to make an impression, but nothing that would encroach on the place each other piece on the board held. _ _

_ _So, he turned to other things. _ _

_ _His rushed relationship with Pansy, which had been an awful and a borderline toxic trainwreck. _ _

_ _Petty insults, selling information, and the list went on. _ _

_ _It wasn’t until he’d been moping around in the Manor library that the idea had come to him. _ _

_ _He’d found the book amongst the shelves and decided that this...this was going to be something he alone could have. _ _

_ _His father had done it around his age, and he figured that he would too. _ _

_ _Maybe he expected something to change with the accomplishment; gratification, pride, but once he’d finally shifted for the first time, the need to somehow flaunt had died out. _ _

_ _It had begun as an idea to do something for himself for once and like that it remained. _ _

_ _He roamed around the woods that bordered the plots, relishing the feel of the dirt on his paws and the lick of the wind through his fur. _ _

_ _That had been the other surprise he’d encountered during the process. _ _

_ _The animal he’d become. _ _

_ _It was, in reality, quite ironic that he became the embodiment of a lone wolf. _ _

_ _At the very least it hadn’t been a ferret. _ _

_ _He continued to move, not particularly caring how long he remained in this form. Time felt different to an animal than it did for a human, when he finally shifted back he was sure more than an hour had passed. He rose slowly to his feet, aching near his hips and shoulders. _ _

_ _It had been nearly a year since he’d spent so long as a wolf. He hadn’t expected it to impact the rest of him so much. It was like a muscle. It remembered the movements, but it grew sore and stiff when unused. _ _

_ _He stumbled back to his spot by the grave, growing lost staring at that familiar epitaph. _ _

_ _He didn’t often feel the absence of Lena. Truly, how could you miss something you didn’t remember you had? Though, right now he wondered what it would have been like had she not died. _ _

_ _Sirius might not have gone after Pettigrew._ _

_ _He wouldn’t have grown up with the force of a vendetta on his shoulders. _ _

_ _She.. she might have given him that unattainable approval he’d sought after most his life. _ _

_ _He felt guilty at that thought. Narcissa had tried. Merlin had she tried to drive such things out of him, but at the end of it all she didn’t understand how to make their situation any better than it was. _ _

_ _He ached with it._ _

_ _“I miss you, and I never knew you.” he murmured, leaning back on his hands. _ _

_ _He sat quietly then just watching the flowers move with the light breeze breaking the silence to cough lightly or sniff at the remaining congestion in his airways. _ _

_ _He must have truly been taken with his thoughts to not have heard another’s approach. _ _

_ _He shifted slightly, noticing the other quietly take a seat not too far from him. _ _

_ _“It’s been awhile since you shifted hasn’t it?”_ _

_ _His eyes widened, and he whirled around to face Remus. _ _

_ _Remus smirked, light dancing in his eyes. _ _

_ _He studied him, seemingly trying to find some way to discern how Remus knew as well as what he thought of it. After a moment, he sighed in defeat. Denying it, would be an obvious lie at this point._ _

_ _“How did you know?”_ _

_ _Remus’s smirk morphed into a smile. _ _

_ _“I can smell it on you.” Remus said. _ _

_ _In a way that did make sense, it was better than the alternative option that he’d simply become sloppy in his exhaustion and frustration. _ _

_ _He shook his head. _ _

_ _“And I can tell it’s been awhile based on the stiffness you now have.” Remus continued gesturing over his form. _ _

_ _Draco stayed silent at that. It had been a while, and frankly he didn’t want to recall the last time he had shifted. _ _

_ _5th year. _ _

_ _He shivered recalling a flash of a spell and the teetering of Sirius’s legs as he lost his balance. _ _

_ _He shut his eyes willing his breath to calm. It wouldn’t due for him to be thrown into a panic over a memory; no matter how terrible said memory was. _ _

_ _“Is that how you snuck in that night..at the ministry?” Remus asked quietly interrupting his fall into the recesses of his mind. _ _

_ _He clenched his jaw and nodded once. _ _

_ _“You...you aren’t going to tell him…”_ _

_ _“That you’re the reason he tripped in the opposite direction.” Remus continued, shaking his head, “That’s something you should tell him yourself. One day.” _ _

_ _He released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding before turning his gaze back to Lena’s headstone. _ _

_ _More than likely he’d never tell Sirius. Most of the time, he didn’t even believe it himself. It had been just a moment, but in it he’d experienced thousands. _ _

_ _The one thought that seemed to rise above the others; though, had echoed in his ears for days after the incident. _ _

_ _Was he destined to watch both his parents die?_ _

_ _“Do you remember her?” Remus said then, gesturing toward the headstone. _ _

_ _It seemed like the other was fishing for information. In a way, it made sense. He came to this grave quite often, but it wasn’t because he remembered her. _ _

_ _He really couldn’t be certain why he allowed these kinds of conversations with Remus when he allowed them with no one else. Perhaps it was his objectivity and his relatively warm nature. He never seemed to judge, and in truth that was probably the reason that trumped them all. _ _

_ _“Not really.” he murmured, letting his eyes fall to his hands, “I mostly just remember that night.” _ _

_ _The night she died._ _

_ _He didn’t need to say it, Remus seemed to understand. _ _

_ _“I wish…” he shook his head and bit the inside of his cheek, unable to continue. _ _

_ _I wish I had happier memories of her. _ _

_ _Remus nodded before his face morphed in a fond grin of remembrance. _ _

_ _“She was quite the character. Looked like ice, but could make anyone melt.” _ _

_ _He clenched his fists together and listened intently as Remus continued to speak. _ _

_ _“She and Sirius argued relentlessly. Sometimes everyone would forget they loved each other because of how intense those arguments would be…” Remus shook his head, “But then you’d catch them in the most compromising of positions, and that love was only all too clear.” _ _

_ _Draco grimaced, horrified at the sudden image of his father intimate at all. Remus let out a loud laugh at his expression before he quieted, growing thoughtful the longer he looked at him. _ _

_ _“She loved you, you know. From the minute she found out she was pregnant with you, she adored you.”_ _

_ _He swallowed against the hardness of his throat, suddenly only able to manage low and shaky breaths. _ _

_ _“They argued about what to name you for months.” Remus said softly, “Lena believed that certain traditions were too beautiful to let die just because the rest of the family was too wrapped up in hate and anger.”_ _

_ _He blinked his eyes furiously, sensing he was rapidly losing control. _ _

_ _“So they picked your first name from the stars. Sirius was in love with the idea of naming you after a dragon.” Remus let out a low chuckle, “Then it was just your middle name left.” _ _

_ _Remus shook his head that same grin back on his face. _ _

_ _“By the time you came, they still hadn’t decided. Both of them came from family lines where the middle name was usually the father’s name. Lena, though, wanted her family somehow honored, and Sirius was arguing viciously against it....Abraxas Malfoy, your grandfather, was a hard man and even though it tore him he broke the family connection from her when she wed Sirius, stopping short of completely disowning her.” _ _

_ _Draco nodded, recognizing this part of the story as something he’d pieced together all on his own. _ _

_ _“She wanted instead to name you after her brother, who she’d loved incredibly.” Remus let out a breath, “It was certainly mutual, because until it became nearly impossible, they still spoke as frequently as they could manage.” _ _

_ _“Sirius must have hated that.” he spoke before biting his lip at his quick outburst. _ _

_ _Remus nodded, not the least bit deterred that he’d interrupted him. _ _

_ _“But then you came, and it was too early…” Remus trailed off, letting his eyes drift to the headstone, “You were such a tiny baby with hair so blonde it was nearly white.” He smiled slightly, “And Sirius was just in shock, staring at you like you were the only thing in the world that he could see. He gave in to Lena then. What with it being such a surprising and difficult birth...I think he figured that it was all so fragile and if it mattered so much to her, he wouldn’t deny her it.” _ _

_ _Draco grew silent before he finally spoke. _ _

_ _“I miss her.” he let out a breath, “I miss that I never got the chance to know her.” _ _

_ _“You did.” Remus said quickly, leveling him a look, “Some part of you did, and that same part always will.” _ _

_ _Draco shrugged, not trusting his voice. _ _

_ _Remus gave him a thin smile before he leaned back to mirror his earlier position. _ _

_ _“So were you surprised at your form?” _ _

_ _Draco snorted, oddly relieved to be returning to a neutral conversation. _ _

_ _“For a while there I thought I would be something with wings.”   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _

_ _Hermione let her eyes wander across the rather large tent. _ _

_ _In truth, it didn’t really resemble a tent at all. It was like a mini house complete with glittering decorations and lights that rivaled the beauty she’d seen in the princess books of her childhood. _ _

_ _Molly had truly gone all out. _ _

_ _She fiddled with the ends of her skirt as she walked along the rapidly filling places. _ _

_ _This morning had been strange to say the least. Dress robes were being tossed back and forth and the whole house seemed lost in the lightness that came with a happy event like a wedding. _ _

_ _She didn’t even realize Draco was missing from the scene until he’d returned with Remus nearly an hour before they had to leave. _ _

_ _Based on Sirius’s lack of reaction, he must have already known where he’d be. _ _

_ _She wondered what had sparked the outing. He’d been so restrained lately, though that may have been because of how nasty his cold had gotten. _ _

_ _She let out a breath. _ _

_ _Snape had been by again very briefly to check on his godson before informing them that a healer would be coming in two days to check the wound. She wished she could have heard that conversation between her Potions Professor and Draco. _ _

_ _They had such an odd relationship, and it lit her curiosity filling her with scenes of a young Draco trailing Snape and badgering him with questions on various potion ingredients. _ _

_ _The innocence of the image had brought a rare smile to her lips. _ _

_ _Perhaps the greatest thing that had come from the meeting had been the delivery of the sword, but with everything going on it had been momentarily sidelined. _ _

_ _She knew that Draco had wanted to use it nearly immediately. He’d even confided his thoughts to her. Something that had surprised and pleased her to no end. _ _

_ _ _We have to be quick with the hunt and the destruction. We can’t give him time to realize we’ve figured him out. ___ _ _

_ _ _ _She agreed, of course she did, but at the time Draco had been in no state to be attempting the destruction of a dark object. In general, they all needed the break from the somber feel that had gripped all of Grimmauld Place. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She could understand Molly Weasley then. They needed some light amidst all the dark. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She spotted Harry, glamour still firmly in place, chatting with Krum in between stealing glances at one fiery red haired beauty. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Harry was such a fool with girls, especially when it came to Ginny Weasley. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She let out a breath, edging closer to the edges of the tent before her eyes found and lingered at a figure sitting near the makeshift bar. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Draco. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He’d protested coming at all, but Sirius had been quick to shut him down. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He didn’t want him gone too long from his sight, and the sentiment was obvious without being stated. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _It was draining him fast, much faster than any of them were comfortable with. ___ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She found herself moving toward him, examining his disguise. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He’d done his own glamour, charming his hair dark enough to match Sirius’s normal color and filling his eyes with much more blue than gray. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Despite the changes he made to his jaw and cheekbones...well… she could still see him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She didn’t know how to feel about that. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She sat beside him with a quiet greeting before she let her eyes drift out toward the dance floor that was filled with pairs. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _In the center, Fleur was practically shining as she gracefully moved in sync with Bill. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She didn’t realize the frown was on her face until Draco commented on it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Careful Granger, your judgement is showing.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She scoffed as she raced through at least one possible argument to say in response to his accusation. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Draco wasn’t having it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“So why don’t you like her?” He said turning fully to face her before inclining his head in the girl’s direction. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Hermione bit her lip before sagging in defeat. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Really she had no hope in lying to someone who was as skilled at it as Draco. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I don’t dislike her.” She insisted already feeling her frown return, “I just don’t see how someone can be so preoccupied with how things look and what not.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She winced at her end. She’d made the other woman out to be a shallow airhead. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Draco’s lips inched into a small smirk. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Not always. She’s actually quite clever. She must have been anyway.” Draco shrugged his shoulders, “To qualify for the tournament.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She said nothing letting her eyes move away from the bride and groom and to the other couples in turn. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“That’s disappointing, I thought you’d arg -” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Why don’t you dance?” She asked then interrupting him, leaning her head in the direction of a rather pretty girl who’d been eyeing Draco from her seat across the room. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Draco shrugged, not even sparing a glance at the girl she’d gestured to. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You can though. I remember from the Yule Ball.” she continued hoping to distance the conversation as far away as possible for her rather confusing dislike for the bride. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Draco gave her an amused smile, his brow lifting to taunt her over that small admission on her part. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She’d watched him then. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It had been hard not too. He’d moved with such grace on the floor along with Pansy. It had rivaled the great care she and Viktor had had while twirling around the hall. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He shook his head, eyeing her. “You really are strange Granger.” he murmured before shockingly reaching over and clasping her hand to tug her with him to the dance floor. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What are you doing?” She hissed softly, mindful of the few lingering looks they were drawing. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I’m going to show you everything you think you don’t have.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She didn’t have a chance to respond before he drew her up into position and began moving them perfectly in beat with the music. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I hope someone’s at least told you how good you look tonight.” Draco said before spinning her. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She blushed as she twirled back to face him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“A few.” she murmured. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It felt different coming from him though. While they were friends, they weren’t friends in the sense that she was friends with Harry or Ron or the rest of the Weasleys. No. Draco wouldn’t offer her a compliment because he felt some sense of obligation to say it. Not that her friends would either. She did look good, she’d put in the effort to, and she’d taken their compliments in turn without truly lingering on them or taking them to heart. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Yet, with Draco, she knew he wouldn’t offer compliments unless he actually meant them and wanted you to know it, and it was for that reason her cheeks remained slightly flushed. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The smirk stayed on Draco’s face even as he shifted the conversation. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“So you noticed me at the Yule Ball.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She bit her lip, sheepishly. She’d hoped he’d neglect that tiny slip of information. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“It’s just. You danced so well.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He snorted. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I should hope so. What with all the balls my parents threw and the lessons that went with them.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She noticed how he’d seamlessly referred to the Malfoys as his parents, a habit as well as a truth the longer she thought about it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“So why sulk in the corner instead of put all those lessons to good use?” she asked lightly. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He tilted his head to examine her, and for a moment, she thought he was about to argue with her before thinking better of it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Had no reason too.” he said instead, twirling her once more as the music seemed to grow softer and softer. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Pity.” She murmured in reply as they both came to a stop as the music finally faded away. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He smirked slightly, tearing his eyes momentarily from hers at something off in the distance that had caught his eye. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She turned to find Xenophilius Lovegood standing off to the side. She frowned unsure what Draco had spotted until her eyes came to rest at the shining chain around his neck. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _That same symbol. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Some sort of recognition flashed in Draco’s eyes before he shook his head. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Draco…”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Enjoy your next dance Granger.” He said softly spinning her. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She protested only now hearing the music creeping back to fill the tent. She whirled to try and find him before a pair of arms came around her. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Startled, she looked up to find a familiar set of blue looking questioningly down at her. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Ron. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She let out a huff, letting Ron clumsily lead her through the next dance all the while looking for Draco within the crowd. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He slipped past another couple in his hasty exit. That symbol he knew, and it was driving him mad that he couldn’t quite place it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He winced at the pang against his temple. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His mind was racing and he had no hope of peace stuck in this loud, hot, and stuffy tent that was beginning to aggravate his sinuses. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He neared the flap of the tent only to feel a hand circle around his right arm and pull him to a stop. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Just where do you think you’re going?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He groaned, turning to face Tonks. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You are not supposed to be outside of the tent. Rules.” She continued with a frown marring her face. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He let out a breath that turned into a soft cough.   
He thought how best it would be to respond. He wanted to argue and somewhat petulantly remind Tonks, his father, and Remus that he was in fact of age and didn’t need rules or babysitting, but he doubted that would get his point across. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He just wanted some time to think. To breathe._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He sniffed and ran his knuckles under his irritated nose. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Please.” he said softly. “I just want some fresh air. This,” He gestured toward the crowded area of the tent, “isn’t helping.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Tonks eyed him before he saw a bit of pity creep into her clear and bright eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Gods he hated the sight._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He tried to find comfort for his wounded pride by reminding himself that he was lying by telling the truth, but really with the way his head was pounding and his body aching, he didn’t know where either began or ended. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Alright but don’t go far and don’t stay out too long. The cold’s not good for you either.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He nodded for once incredibly grateful for his shit lungs. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He turned and quickly resumed his exit not pausing to breathe until he felt the cool air hit his face. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He let out a sigh not surprised in the least when it was followed by a short string of soft coughs. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He rubbed at his temples mentally chiding himself for not taking anything before coming. In truth, it hadn’t crossed his mind between the other things he was worried about along with his determination to block out the entire obligation. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Absently, his hand reached to rub at his left arm, working at the stiffness. He’d numbed it well by dabbing on more than the normal amount of the salve on it. The soreness from the fading numbness was beginning to peek through. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He closed his eyes with the symbol around Lovegood’s neck burned into his mind. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He knew it. It was right there at the edges of his mind, but somehow he was unable to reach the thought. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Frustrated, he paused along the tent scoffing one of his shoes into the ground. He drew his folded arms tighter to his chest. The seasons were beginning to change; brisk as the world prepared for what was surely going to be a quick and cool fall. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He huffed, seeing wisps of his breath condense briefly before his face. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was slipping. He could feel it. Perhaps Snape was right to rush that meeting with a Healer. He was losing his mind in more ways than one, especially that dance. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Merlin. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was barely able to acknowledge their more amicable relations and he’d just gone and voluntarily danced with the girl. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It hadn’t been unpleasant, and that was probably the fact that disturbed him the most. He’d just felt uncharacteristically sympathetic to her when she’d shown that brief bit of insecurity staring down Fleur. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He could read her easily. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The part Veela was beautiful and bright, a package deal really if he allowed himself time to ponder such things. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He’d just never figured that Hermione would see such a thing and think herself lacking. He’d certainly never taken her as the type to fret over such things, but at the end of the day, she was a person, a girl, and every person had their faults and fears. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She was a fool for it though. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She wasn’t conventionally pretty and certainly not the obvious gorgeous that he’d grown up with both in pureblood society and later on in Slytherin. A shallow pretty that was noticed in an instant and forgotten the next. No. With Hermione one had to take in all her features to fully realize her own rather unique allure. Then if one took in her own passionate qualities, the bits of her on the inside, she shone. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She was beautiful, and it made him uncomfortable to think. Not because it was true, but rather that he’d noticed and wanted to at least bring her attention to it. To comfort her in his own broken way. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He bit his lip, sniffing as he rubbed his nose with his wrist. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _What was he doing getting involved in such things? _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Gods Draco what is wrong with you?” he muttered.   
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Ron didn’t bug her about her dance with Draco, perhaps he was merely trying to hold in his temper while amongst so many of his relatives, but she was grateful for it all the same. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She wasn’t sure she could explain it herself, that slight dizziness she’d had even when they weren’t spinning. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He knew her. Merlin knew how, but he seemed to understand how she thought and that was a strange thing to think. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Though, logically she knew it wasn’t just her (Draco seemed adept at reading people in general), but no one, no one, had ever been able to figure her out so quickly and easily. She started her friendship with Draco on impulse, but now she was wondering if perhaps it was lucky coincidence that she’d formed it all the same. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She’d never had a friend who even remotely understood how her mind worked. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She felt hot all of a sudden within the tent and quietly and carefully made her way out of the tent. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She lingered near the flap, rubbing her hands up her arms before pulling her wand and silently casting a warming charm. Her eyes drifted up at the lingering bits of sun that were clinging to the sky. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It really was a beautiful day. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She heard someone shuffle around the corner of the tent before a muffled sneeze. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She cocked her head before taking a deep breath and rounding the corner. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was leaning casually against the tent with his arms folded and pressed close to his chest. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She could see him shivering slightly, and she bit back the impulse to chide him for not at least casting a warming charm. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She took out her wand once more and cast one herself before pocketing it again. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You’ll catch another cold if you aren’t careful.” she said softly, coming to stand beside him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He shrugged. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Haven’t really shook this one.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She didn’t know what to say to that so she kept silent and mimicked his position by letting her back rest against the frame of the tent. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What are you doing out here?” She didn’t bother with reminding him that he wasn’t supposed to leave the tent. She doubted the idea of rules really bothered him anyway. He broke them often enough. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He shrugged, contemplating his answer before he spoke. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Couldn’t really breathe in there.” He ran a hand through his hair in slight frustration._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She wrung her hands together as a comfortable silence settled between them. She kept glancing at him trying in vain to glimpse some sort of crack in him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Why did you do it?” She spoke then, biting her tongue, “Why’d you ask me to dance?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He looked slightly amused. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Did you not enjoy it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She shook her head frowning, “That’s not the point.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He took her hands in his and suddenly she was back in that same dance position. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You think entirely too much about such a simple thing.” he said softly near her ear. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _They swayed slightly in place. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Draco.” she said softly as his face grew closer and closer. “What are we doing?” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He closed his eyes tiredly, letting his forehead rest on hers. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I don’t know.” He said quietly. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She closed her eyes too, fully immersed in his scent. He was a mix, a continued dichotomy, light like fresh air and then undeniably distinct in a blend of spice and pine. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She got lost in it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She felt him stiffen, and was about to ask him what was wrong when she heard a crash from inside the tent. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She turned, wide eyed to Draco who had already drawn his wand. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Shit. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _They both dashed back into the tent to find the place in chaos. Black robes. Red. Green. Spells were being shot from seemingly every corner of the room. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She dodged a stray spell searching frantically for Harry and Ron. They had to get out of here. They had to get out fast. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She lost Draco in the crowd, and when she saw him again his glamour had begun to slip as he fought viciously against one particular Death Eater. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She’d never seen him in action, and she was stunned at the sight. He was like a fiend, but incredibly graceful where a fiend, she imagined, would be brute in his attacks. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _They were shouting at each other, not particularly shooting spells at the moment. She tore her eyes away and found Harry and Ron alternating between running and fighting. Quickly, she turned and grabbed them both by the arm before they took off running. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She was focusing on one goal at a time. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She needed to get Draco, and they would apparate out. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Harry seemed to pick up on what she was doing and immediately shot spells at everyone blocking their path. She could hear Ron shouting that he had to help his family, but she didn’t have time to respond before they’d come up on Draco and grabbed him by the shirt before she spun and the chaos faded around her._ _ _ _ _ _


	11. Chapter 11

“What the fuck Granger.” Draco exclaimed, stumbling from the jolt of the apparation. 

She bit her lip before squaring her shoulders to stare him down. “We had to get out of there. I just did what was necessary.” 

He could feel his head throb, worsening by the second. He took a breath, willing the anger from him. He wasn’t truly frustrated at her. She’d acted as he would have. A little warning though would have been nice. 

It also might have been nice to not see the faces of people he’d left behind what had seemed a lifetime ago. 

He winced at the memories of Death Eater meetings and revels before opening his eyes and giving her a slight nod. 

She bit her lip, her face softening as she looked over Potter and Weasley, the latter loudly complaining that they had to go back. 

He ignored their bickering and instead began looking around to see just where Hermione had dropped them. It looked to be a back alley way that led out to a rather populated street that he did not recognize. He caught a stray group of people walk by and at the look of their clothing his heart sank. Muggle. 

“We have to think about our next step, if other places are compromised….” he heard Hermione say. 

He bit his lip and transfigured his clothes. Hermione seeing his movements was quick to follow doing first herself and then the duo beside her. 

He knew what their next step would be. 

They had to get back to Grimmauld. 

It was safe and secure, and frankly no matter what supplies he suspected Granger may have, they wouldn’t last long in this state. 

Grimly, he followed Hermione as she led them to a stray coffee shop. His arm flared and he bit back the slight moan at the pang of it. 

At least, he definitely wouldn’t last long and that dramatically decreased the rest of their odds. 

They sat down and he resisted the urge to snap at Weasley to keep from fidgeting. His nervousness and fear was palatable and that was going to attract attention they did not need.   
“We need to go back to Grimmauld Place. The faster the better.” He whispered, letting his eyes drift around them, looking for anything that seemed distinctly less muggle. 

He was growing more and more uneasy the longer they lingered here. While he couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, he felt like they were being watched or at the very least being followed. 

“They bloody found us at the Burrow. How secure is Grimmauld?” Weasley hissed, his eyes frantically darting around to his friends. 

“Grimmauld is safe.” He argued back. 

“Ron.” Hermione interrupted the red-head, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Grimmauld is probably the best option we have. Some of the others may already have headed there when things…” She bit her lip, seemingly unable to continue. 

He let out a breath, pleased to have at least one person on his side. He eyed Potter, who seemed to be slightly dazed and lost within his own thoughts. 

Wearily, the boy blinked and focused on him. 

“How do you know Grimmauld is safe, besides the fidelius…” He began. 

He bit the inside of his cheek. He had to convince them to head back, but to convince them it was safe...Well, he’d have to divulge something. Technically he hadn’t broken any of Sirius’s house rules when he put in place a few upgrades. 

But he hadn’t consulted anyone before he had either. 

He scratched the back of his neck, again getting the eerie sensation they were being watched. 

“I re-did the wards at Grimmauld. A couple of old ones that had been temporarily removed and a few of my own choice.” He finally admitted. 

He saw all three of their jaws drop at his admission. 

“Does Sirius know -” 

“No.” He snapped at Potter, “And I was well within my rights to do it. The house’s defenses were atrocious and as Head of House I didn’t have to consult -” He stopped abruptly and instinctively threw up a shield just as two spells were thrown at them. 

“What the bloody -” He heard Weasley exclaim as they were thrown into the midst of chaos once more. The muggles were shouting and quickly filing out of the cafe as the lot of them stood throwing spells back at their two attackers. 

_They don’t fight with strategy._

The realization was troubling, but not unexpected. He could take some advantage from their fierce retaliation though. He moved to the side, leaving the trio to continue throwing odd spells toward the hooded figures, one of which managed to stun the masked Death Eater to the right. 

Now that wouldn’t do. 

If he was getting attacked, he wanted to know by whom and for what purpose. This was a golden opportunity for information, but it seemed he was the only one who realized it. 

He disillusioned himself and dashed across the shop, using the three’s own fighting as a distraction to creep up to the lone Death Eater that remained. 

He jumped the other, pulling him to him with an arm around his neck and his wand trained to his temple. 

“Incarcerous.” 

He shoved the man down to his knees, pocketing his wand that was just teetering in his grasp through the ropes. 

He turned around him and after a moment sent a partial stunner to his legs as a precaution. 

He could feel the other’s shock at his display, but he ignored it as he grew lost in the motions. 

This he knew. 

He tore the mask away and scowled at the face that greeted him. 

Rowle. 

“And I thought I wouldn’t be seeing your fucking face again.” He muttered spitefully as the other glared at him. 

He glanced behind him to see that the trio was closing in. He saw, with dismay, that Potter’s glamour had faded.

A memory swipe after then. 

Hermione shot him a questioning look, but he shook his head as he turned back to Rowle. 

The man was examining him intently and after a moment recognition filled his eyes. 

“Fucking Malfoy. You’re supposed to be dead.” 

He shrugged, toying with his wand. 

“So they say.”

Rowle’s face twisted into a wicked grin as he began circling him. He strained his neck to follow Draco’s movements. 

“You won’t get anything out of me, you weak blood traitor. Tell me, does your whore mother and bastard father know their only son -” 

He didn’t even think before he slammed his foot down hard on the other’s ankle, actually relishing the sound of the bone snapping. 

He braced the man by the shoulder, who to his credit only released a moan at the intense wave of pain that was no doubt shooting through his body. 

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are Rowle, but for someone who likes to run their mouth you never have much to say.” 

He turned back around to face the man. 

“Have you earned that seat at the inner circle yet?” He hummed, keeping his wand drilled into the man’s neck. “Because this fucking blood traitor had it, and I didn’t even receive the mark.” 

Rowle growled. “You were riding on daddy’s legacy like always Malfoy.” He spat, “On your own you’re nothing but a weak and pathetic…” 

He kneed Rowle in the gut, letting him double over against him. 

“I think we both know that’s not true.” he said, letting his voice drop. He could feel the anger that had been fueling him ebb, and instead be replaced by his familiar cool fury. 

He couldn’t even feel the throb of his arm while he was like this. 

“The Dark Lord wanted me, and we both know he only wants things that he can use.” He said lowly. 

“You were a punishment for Lucius...just a boy.” Rowle stammered, growing more uneasy at this new approach. 

He hummed in response, leaning in closer. 

“I think we both know I was more than that.” he whispered near the man’s ear before letting a shock go from his wand and through the other’s body. 

Rowle whimpered. 

“Why’d you follow us?”

Rowle glared at him. It was pointless to waste more time dancing around Rowle. The man, scheming and sleazy bastard that he was, was like any other moderate ranking Death Eater. 

_They were too accustomed to the Dark Lord’s brand of interrogation to be intimidated by him._

He moved his wand from Rowle’s neck up to his forehead. 

_But he had other means._

“Know I gave you the easy option, and you turned it down.” He said, keeping his voice soft. 

Rowle’s eyes widened just as the word left his lips. 

“Legilimens.” 

It was almost too easy. He crossed Rowle's weak occlumency shields in seconds, sifting through memories quickly without bothering to be gentle as he did. It seemed the pair of Death Eaters had been given orders to track and capture Potter alive. Anyone else was disposable. 

Nothing he couldn’t piece together himself. 

He found a few patrol schedules and basic outlines for planned attacks and programs, but nothing major. 

Again, it was likely because Rowle wasn’t privy to them. 

He pushed deeper for mentions of Bellatrix and her movements, but nothing. 

Frustrated at the lack of gains, he pulled out abruptly and made out Rowle whimpering beneath his wand. 

He shoved the man off him with a bored look plastered on his face. 

“You...You.” Rowle swallowed thickly, “You weren’t like this-” 

“Yes, well.” He interrupted, “What’s that saying... never wake the sleeping dragon.” He let a cruel grin spread across his face. 

He wasted no time after that before he obliviated Rowle and moved swiftly over to the stunned Death Eater and did the same. His migraine was returning and frankly they’d wasted enough time.

He shoved his wand into his pocket and turned to find the trio silently staring at him. 

Potter looked shocked. Weasley was uneasy. And Granger...Hermione, she seemed somewhere between disapproval and impressed. 

He didn’t even wait for them as he stalked out of the cafe, calling over his shoulder. 

“Grimmauld now.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

Hermione blinked still rather stunned at all the events that had seemed to transpire in but a blink of an eye. 

She quickly tugged at Harry and Ron’s arms before she dashed out of the shop and after Draco. 

She’d known he was good, but she hadn’t been expecting that. 

He was leaning at the corner of one of the buildings that had marked the alleyway they’d originally appeared in, his head cradled in one of his hands. 

He looked up at her approach, and she slowly stopped a foot from him. 

“Draco,” She paused unsure how to continue, “How did you…” 

He shrugged coming off the wall to stand straight. 

“You have to fight with a purpose in a duel.” He said flatly, before his hand came to rub at his temple. 

She tilted her head to look him over, wondering if that was all he was going to offer as explanation. In truth, it wasn’t even that. He’d offered her advice, an observation. It was frustrating really, when she’d only meant to ask a simple question. 

One he obviously didn’t want to answer.

He grimaced before frowning as his gaze settled over her shoulder at Harry and Ron. Both seemed unsure on what to do. They eyed each other and then her, before Harry stepped forward slightly.

“What was that?” 

Draco looked tiredly at the other, leaning one arm against the brick of the building. She cast her eyes over his form, and had she not been focused, she wouldn’t have noticed the slight tremor in his limbs. 

He’d spent what little reserves he had. 

If anything, she was surprised he’d held for this long. 

“Trust me Potter, it wasn’t for you.” 

Harry clenched his jaw, and some sort of understanding seemed to pass between the two of them before Harry jut forward his hand muttering about apparating out. Ron was quick to grasp it. 

Draco; though, made no move to grasp the outstretched hand. Although, she wasn’t sure if it was just because Harry had held his hand out or because he seemed somewhat withdrawn and shaking, falling into that puzzling mind of his. 

Hesitantly, she stepped closer to Draco and took his hand into hers. 

She turned to him, nibbling her lip. 

“You can lean on me if you need.” she whispered knowing he’d hate the offer, but hoping he’d accept it all the same. Then she reached out and took hold of Harry’s hand. 

She didn’t hear his answer before the world spun, and they were once again in the foyer of Grimmauld Place. 

They’d barely gotten their bearings before the clamoring of footsteps sounded and they were crowded by the group of adults who’d no doubt been anxiously awaiting their arrival. 

Remus quickly scanned them over and sagged with visible relief when he found they were all accounted for. “We were worried when you all didn’t immediately show here.” Remus began. 

“We’ve been waiting for ages.” Sirius interrupted glancing at all of them as though searching for injuries. His gaze lingered on Draco, who, with a start she realized, was still standing quite close to her. 

She felt her cheeks heat before stepping slightly away to put a bit more space between them. She didn’t go far though, eyeing the shake in the hands he was so quick to bury in his pockets. 

Her eyes drifted away from Draco before settling on Tonks, who was frowning slightly at all of them. 

“What kept you all?” She asked slowly. 

Now that was the question. 

It seemed to spark an outburst of everyone talking at once. 

“ ‘Mione grabbed us all and apparated us to some Muggle street.” Ron began, “Then these Death Eaters showed.” 

“Death Eaters followed you and you didn’t immediately apparate back here?” Sirius exclaimed. 

She practically heard Draco’s wince at his father’s outburst. 

Ron quieted at the outburst, and everyone seemed to be holding their breath, waiting for some sort of outburst. 

“Oh fuck.” Draco muttered before clearing his throat to speak louder, “It’s my fault really.” 

She whirled around to face him. Out of the corner of her eye, she made out Ron and Harry do the same. Was he actually taking the blame?

“I wanted to see who was after us, so I bound one and tried to see what information I could get out of them.” 

She bit her lip, stealing a glance at each of the adults in the room that all seemed to be alternating between shock, distress, and full out fury. 

“You tried to interrogate a Death Eater on your own?” Sirius said his voice tight as he clenched his jaw. 

“Not tried. Did. Rowle may not be the most important Death Eater, but he’s nosey as fuck. I figured I’d try to get something from him,” Draco said, frowning as he grumbled the last bit to himself, “But it turned out to be a waste of time.” 

The room grew quiet again as they all seemed to focus on Sirius’s stony face and Draco’s defiant one. 

Remus cleared his throat. 

“The important thing is that you all made it back and…” 

“That is not the important thing.” Sirius exclaimed turning to Draco. 

“You know to come back here-”

“It’s not a big deal.” Draco interrupted, rubbing his temple. “They distracted him, and I bound him. It was done in a minute. It wasn't difficult.” He let out a breath. 

Sirius looked like he begged to differ when his anger quickly deflated at the shudder that visibly went through Draco. 

“Can we please not shout anymore.” Draco said softly, bringing both his hands up to his temples.

He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them. 

“I’m not going to apologize. I did what anyone else would have done.” He took a breath, letting his eyes roam from Tonks to Remus and ending on Sirius. “I’m tired of all of you treating me like a child you don’t trust to do anything. It’s downright insulting.” 

He dropped his hands to cross his arms and press them closer to his chest. 

“So maybe I overdo it.” he said lowly, “Maybe I overdid it this time.” 

She heard his breath hitch as he continued. 

“But all of you seem to forget that I trained and bled to get here.” 

At that, Draco turned and without giving anyone a moment to react he was out the room where his footsteps could be heard going gently up the steps. 

She could hear Remus saying it would be best to leave him alone for the time being before taking Harry and Ron out to the kitchen. 

Probably to ask them what happened and give them news on the Weasleys. 

She sighed before she reluctantly tore herself away from the room, unsure where to go. 

Her eyes drifted toward the ceiling. 

_Trained and bled._

Well, she could understand that. 

She lent against the staircase. 

Should she go up?

“Hermione?” 

She let out a breath, twisting her head and catching sight of Tonks. 

She bit her lip as Tonks studied her for a moment. 

“I need you tell me exactly what happened.”

Hermione let out a tired sigh before she launched into a brief recount, glossing quickly over the parts about Draco and her being outside of the tent together. Though, it seemed that Tonks didn’t miss her slight blush as she rushed past that part of her explanation. To her credit, Tonks didn’t even crack a smile at the admission, though her eyes were bright in amusement at her embarrassment. 

When she came to Draco’s interrogation, Tonks seemed impressed but altogether not surprised. It seemed at least someone thought Draco was more than capable of handling himself. He’d said it himself. He’d been trained. 

More than they had at any rate. 

“It drained him though.” Hermione said softly at the end of her tale, “I’m pretty sure he’s exhausted.” 

Tonks nodded, thinking to herself. “I don’t doubt it.” 

She dug into her pocket and pulled out a vial and handed it to Hermione. 

“It’s a strengthening potion. I want you to see if he’ll take it.” 

She pocketed it quickly. 

“I convinced the Healer to come tomorrow.” Tonks continued slowly, “I don’t think we should wait any longer. Everything I’ve read…”

“I know.” She said softly, “It’s just the retaliation spells-” 

“We can handle them.” Tonks said confidently, though with a slightly weary expression on her face, “I’m more concerned with us waiting too long, and Draco not having the strength to recover properly.” 

She stilled. She hadn’t even thought of that. 

It was a valid concern. The longer they waited, the weaker he would get and that could prove both difficult, dangerous, and perhaps impossible for him to recover from. As it stood, even if they were successful, they ran the risk of ensuring that Draco would continue to suffer lingering changes brought on by the curse to begin with. 

She dug her hand into her pocket and grasped the tiny vial so hard it was a wonder it didn’t crack. 

“So we can’t wait any longer.” She murmured. 

Tonks nodded. 

“The Weasleys are being watched, but the second that he can get away Bill said he’d be here.” 

She nodded numbly, turning to continue up the steps. 

“Hermione.” 

She turned. 

Tonks gave her a thin smile. 

“You’re a good friend to my cousin, even if he hasn’t always deserved it.” 

She returned the smile, unsure and frankly unable to say anything in return before she resumed her step up the staircase. 

Without even stopping to debate it, she turned onto the second floor and headed for that familiar room fifth from the stairs. 

He was laying on the bed, shoes kicked off seemingly in anger to the side. He didn’t acknowledge her as she tentatively took a step into the room. 

Her eyes drifted around, and she made out a roll of gauze at his bedside. 

He must have changed the bandages. 

She bit her lip before coming even closer and before she could lose her nerve she sat on the edge of the bed. 

Draco shifted to his side, still not speaking and barely giving her more than a glance. 

She let out a breath and let her hands rest along the sheets, tracing the seams.

She knew he was frustrated at being treated as incapable, young, and fragile when he was anything but. It was obvious that Sirius’s extreme paranoia and protective nature was preventing him from seeing Draco as he was.

Capable.

To be considered anything else was a huge slap in the face. 

Like everything he’d done wouldn’t be enough even if that wasn’t Sirius’s intention. 

“Those who meant well behaved in the same way as those who meant badly.” She finally said. 

Draco blinked up at her, obviously recognizing the quote. She didn’t know why, but she had a feeling that that particular novel held a special place in his heart. It felt like something sacred, and for a moment, she felt guilty for having used its words to get his attention. 

It felt like a violation. 

He bit the inside of his cheek before he patted the space on the mattress silently asking her to join him. 

She contained her grin as she kicked off her shoes and stretched out across the bed, remaining somewhat upright by leaning against the headboard. 

He gave her a thin half smile. “Isn’t there something in living dangerously?” he quoted back to her. 

She smiled slightly in return. “There would be if that’s all you were doing.” 

He shrugged his free shoulder, falling deeply into thought. He shook his head in frustration before turning to lie flat on his back. 

“He treats me like I’m a child.” He said with a frown. 

“We all technically are.” she said softly. 

He made a noise that sounded somewhere between a concession and a disagreement. 

“To them at least, but…” she continued, biting her lip, “Sometimes I feel like the oldest child alive.” 

She felt the bed shift as Draco turned once more to face her. Her eyes dropped, and she caught sight of understanding hidden between those gray irises. 

_He really was beautiful. _

_ _She felt heat stain her cheeks at that thought before dropping her gaze to settle at her lap. With her head tilted to the side, she caught the sound of his breathing, listening to the shallow breaths that were tinged with a soft wheeze. They were steady and strong though. She found some comfort in that. _ _

_ _“Are you alright?” she asked quietly. _ _

_ _He bit his lip, and for a moment he looked incredibly unsure how best to respond. Perhaps upset by the options he had. _ _

_ _“I’ve been better.” _ _

_ _She nodded in understanding before she found herself slipping down to join him flat on the mattress. _ _

_ _“You know.” Her voice dropped to barely above a whisper, “You don’t have to pretend with me...with all your shields and walls.”_ _

_ _He studied her. “And be me.” he sighed, bringing one hand up to rub his nose, “And just who is that?” _ _

_ _“Draco.” She said, “Just Draco.” Before she could even think it, she’d reached out and combed through his messed fringe. She froze, her fingers still pressed lightly to the edges of his brow. She was about to withdraw when he reached up and took her hand into his, threading their fingers together. _ _

_ _“You’re doing something to me, Hermione.” he said, dropping his eyes to look at their entwined hands. “Something you shouldn’t be doing to someone dying.” _ _

_ _She felt a pang in her chest at his words. _ _

_ _“You’re not going to die Draco. Not now, not because of…” She hesitantly reached with her free hand to brush her fingers at his left wrist. Not because of this._ _

_ _“And how do you know?” He murmured, closing his eyes tiredly for a moment before opening them to lock with hers. _ _

_ _“Call it a strong hunch.” She breathed. _ _

_ _He laughed silently. “I never thought you put much stock in that kind of thing.” _ _

_ _“This time’s an exception.” _ _

_ _He grew silently, and she realized his thumb had begun to draw circles on the back of her hand. _ _

_ _“You’d make a wager on that?” He asked softly. _ _

_ _She nodded. _ _

_ _“Alright.” he smirked, “What would you wager?”_ _

_ _She grew bold then, tightening her grip on his hand. “I’ll tell you what it...this something could be.” _ _

_ _He smiled then, widely in a way that gave off sad disbelief and genuine happiness all rolled into one. _ _

_ _“I don’t think you know how to make a wager.” _ _

_ _“I do.” she argued back, somewhat shocked at the easy comfort between them, but not surprised when she took into account the race of her heart. While it was an odd thought to think, it wasn’t one she felt uncomfortable about. There was just something about Draco that drew her in and made her want to jump head first. _ _

_ _She’d thought herself mad for feeling it. Yet right now, with her small hand held securely in his, it felt like it made the most sense in the world. _ _

_ _“I’ve said it before, but you really are odd Hermione.” he said bringing their entwined hands up and pressing a light kiss to the back of hers. _ _

_ _She shivered at the motion and knew without looking that Draco was smirking. _ _

_ _“Now if I’m going to win.” She said softly, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the vial Tonks had given her, “You’re going to have to do your part.” _ _

_ _He eyed the vial wearily before reaching over and taking it from her. He examined it before he sat up slightly and drank the contents, depositing the empty container on his bedside. _ _

_ _She pulled him back down and ran a hand through his hair once more as he hummed in appreciation. _ _

_ _He closed his eyes tiredly nestling into his pillow. She continued playing with the soft wisps of his fringe as she felt his breath even against her skin, signaling he was nodding off. _ _

_ _“You really do believe it, don’t you?” he said, his voice dragging. _ _

_ _She smiled slightly, even though she knew he couldn’t see it as her response. Somehow, she thought he already knew the answer to that._ _

_ _“And you will too.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes in the chapter from Brave New World.


	12. Chapter 12

Hermione woke to the feel of something warm pressed against her side and faint traces of light dancing off her skin. She opened her eyes, reluctant to leave the grips of sleep. 

_She hadn’t felt so rested in a long time._

She glanced to her side, stiffening before relaxing at the sight she met. 

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but as the time had passed and Draco had relaxed to the point of dozing off it had been all too easy to join.

In many ways, she was glad she had. He’d been restless. Multiple times, she woken to him shifting, distressed at some part of his dreams. She’d shake him to the point that he would seem to wake before letting him fall back asleep, preventing whatever nightmare he’d been about to have from progressing. 

He’d slept straight through the last bit of the night though, which was a good thing for the both of them. 

She let out a soft sigh, letting her eyes wander over him. 

He’d pressed up closer to her, unconsciously seeking her warmth sometime during the night, resting his head near her shoulder. She’d never been this close to him before, she idly thought. 

And never close enough to see him without the stresses of the world weighing him down.

It was certainly a sight to behold. 

She studied his face, marveling in each carved edge though frowning at the dark circles that persisted beneath his eyes despite the rest.

He truly was beautiful. In a way that artists would envy. He’d grown into his features, softening the transitions he’d gone through from chubby faced child, to pointed, and eventually to this. The changes had been noted at the time. It had been hard to miss when he had returned for fifth year towering over her where before they’d been so close in height. 

She relished the opportunity to see the parts she’d missed simply by observing him from afar. He had scars, even on his face. One that came from the underside of his jaw and touched his neck that was so faint you had to be inches from it to notice. Another small scar about a few millimeters in length that rested on the soft skin near the corner of his left eye. The one she was currently examining though sat near the side of his nose that had healed so close to the original surrounding skin that she’d nearly missed it in her first appraisal. 

She had a feeling she knew where this one came from. 

Third year. 

When she’d punched him. 

She shook her head, resisting the urge to reach out to touch it. He stirred easily, and touching his face was bound to wake him up completely, and really he needed the rest. 

Especially for today. 

She eased slowly out of the bed and tiptoed to the door, lingering as she leaned on it to watch him breathe. 

She bit her lip before stepping out into the hall, closing the door softly behind her. 

She chided herself at the melancholy edge that had seemed to slowly creep over her as she walked further and further from his room. She and Tonks had prepared, debating and trading passages of various books. They had beat to death the types of retaliation spells that were possible once the first layer of curses was stripped back. She only worried about how deeply the layers went. 

It would not be surprising if this curse had mingled into Draco’s very blood making it harder to isolate. 

She shuddered. 

She had to have faith that Bill's experience would be enough. There would also be a healer on hand. 

He would be alright.

Or so she hoped and continued to do so as she stopped by her room to shower and change before wandering down to the kitchens. 

Kreacher dipped his head in greeting when she entered, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge her at all. 

Well, that was an improvement at least. 

She pulled her wand and was about to light a fire beneath the kettle when Kreacher snapped his fingers and her mug filled. She smiled slightly. _Now that was real change. ___

_ _She wandered through the kitchens, unsure how to occupy her time until the rest of the house woke. Idly glancing through the cabinets, she wondered if Tonks had more of that strengthening potion to give Draco. _ _

_ _Perhaps, she could brew some. _ _

_ _She continued toward the back pantry when Kreacher stopped her. _ _

_ _“Is Miss be looking for something?” He asked, watching her carefully. _ _

_ _She bit her lip. _ _

_ _“Well I was just wondering where all the potion ingredients are.” She said and at Kreacher’s unimpressed expression, she quickly continued, “I was thinking of brewing something for Draco.” _ _

_ _At that, the elf brightened considerably before calling for her to follow him to a rather worn looking door near the pantry that she knew from prior experience led to the cellar. _ _

_ _“Master Draco does his brewings down there’s Miss Granger.” Kreacher said with a smile, obviously pleased that she was doing something for his master. _ _

_ _She thanked the elf, suddenly more curious at exploring Draco’s workplace than brewing for the moment. She stalked carefully down the steps, noting that it didn’t seem nearly as dusty down here as it had been the last time she and the boys had explored the house. _ _

_ _Though, that had been years ago, and if Kreacher was to be believed, Draco worked down here. It wasn’t as though he’d continuously work in an area he couldn’t breathe in. _ _

_ _True to Kreacher’s word, there was a potion lab setup. A rather admirable one at that. The vials were practically gleaming, along with the various cauldrons, and a rather large portion of the opposing wall housed large shelves of carefully organized potion ingredients. _ _

_ _It was quite amazing really. _ _

_ _She ran her fingers along the workbenches admiring the polished wood before she caught sight of pages of notes and an opened potion’s text. _ _

_ _Curious, she flipped through the book not particularly recognizing the edition. Her eyes trailed the notes made between the margins and she marveled at the creativity suggested by the modifications. _ _

_ _Was this really Draco’s?_ _

_ _She confirmed the answer a few pages later when she reached the compounding section of the text that discussed creams and salves. One particular page was deeply creased, as though it had been turned to multiple times. She read through the page of notes that detailed a variety of alterations, her own mind putting together a theoretical idea of what such changes would yield. _ _

_ _It was his salve formula. _ _

_ _Brilliant. _ _

_ _She marveled at the substitutions he’d suggested all in hopes of working on numbing and providing relief against inflammation. Truly, if he wished it, he could probably tweak the formula a bit to make the consistency of it smoother and sell it as a treatment for neuropathy. _ _

_ _Reluctantly, she pulled herself away from Draco’s notes and continued exploring his stock of ingredients and turning the corner found his stock of ready made potions. _ _

_ _Truly, when had he managed to do this all?_ _

_ _Her eyes zeroed in on a vial of strengthening potion, and she took it without hesitation, stowing it in her pocket. Seeing at least 10 more vials of it, she decided against brewing a whole cauldron more of the potion. _ _

_ _There was no point in brewing so much when they may not even use it. _ _

_ _She sighed, taking one last glance at the beautiful potions lab before she trekked back up the cellar steps toward the kitchen. _ _

_ _She’d just stepped out to the kitchen when she felt another presence join her. _ _

_ _“I see you’ve found Draco’s lab.”_ _

_ _She squared her shoulders and looked up at her former potion’s professor. _ _

_ _“I did.”_ _

_ _Snape raised a brow, looking at her from head to toe. She swore, for a moment, that his lips had twisted into a slight smile before he turned and motioned for her to take a seat at the table. _ _

_ _“I expected to find Draco when I came in. He tends to wake quite early, but imagine my surprise at finding you instead.” _ _

_ _She seemed to understand the question, and beneath his rather surly and harsh exterior she saw something in the professor that surprised though warmed her. Concern. Concern that was obviously being directed at his godson. _ _

_ _She took the vial of strengthening potion from her pocket and placed it before her on the table. _ _

_ _“I’d actually planned to brew some of this to give him, but it seems he’s brewed enough to last us quite a while.” _ _

_ _Snape looked critically at the vial, the recognition quick to flash in his dark eyes before he looked up to her. _ _

_ _“I see. Tell me what else has changed in my godson’s condition?” _ _

_ _She resisted the urge to smile at the image of Snape showing concern for another human being, but pushed it aside as she gave a brief rundown of her observations with little interruption from her professor. _ _

_ _When she was through, he was back to examining her, as though she too were some sort of potion that needed to be placed and understood for its possible effects. _ _

_ _“You’ve noticed quite a bit about my godson Miss Granger.” _ _

_ _She felt her cheeks heat as she stammered, unsure how exactly to respond. _ _

_ _Snape’s brow rose. “It must be that insufferable bleeding heart of yours.” _ _

_ _She frowned, clenching her fist beneath the table. _ _

_ _“Pray you don’t lose it in the coming months.” _ _

_ _Her frown fell off her face as she slumped in her seat. Had Snape complimented her? In his roundabout way, he sort of had._ _

_ _She bit her lip to keep the smile threatening to overtake her face from breaking free. She took a breath. _ _

_ _“I should hope not Professor.” She said softly. _ _

_ _Snape gave her a nod before his eyes drifted to the door of the kitchen a minute before it swung open to reveal Sirius. _ _

_ _The men met each other’s gaze before Sirius sighed heavily pulling a bottle of firewhiskey from a cabinet and adding a shot into the cup of tea he’d poured himself. _ _

_ _He sat down, glancing somewhat tiredly at the steaming drink before him. _ _

_ _He looked resolute, but there was a certain aura around the man making him seem more grown and weary than she’d ever thought him capable. _ _

_ _But then, who wouldn’t be in his position? Who wouldn’t fear for the life of their son?_ _

_ _Sirius took a rather long swing of his tea before glancing between Snape and her. _ _

_ _“It’s going to be a rather long day, isn’t it?”_ _

_ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

_ _Draco shifted restlessly amongst his sheets. He’d been awake for ages now, falling to sleep for an hour at a time before he’d seemed to finally drift and stay within his dreams which lasted until the moment Hermione had slipped as quietly as she could from the bed and out his room_ _

_ _It had been some time since he’d been so thoroughly plagued by dreams, and he wondered if the onslaught of memories had been triggered based on the ambush that had happened the day before. _ _

_ _Though that wasn’t what had been bothering him the most. No. He was consumed with one single thought that was a shout amongst the jumble of others currently drifting around his head. _ _

_ _She’d stayed. _ _

_ _Part of him was incredibly embarrassed that she’d seen him that vulnerable starting with the end of the day before and ending with the multiple times he’d woken her because of his nightmares. _ _

_ _He groaned, bringing his hands up to up to rub at his face, wincing at the slight pressure at his temples from yet another headache._ _

_ _Pulling himself up, he fell to his bedside before plucking up the potion for his lungs and heading out of his room. _ _

_ _He didn’t want to sleep, but for the moment, he didn’t feel like joining the rest of the world yet. _ _

_ _His dreams...his memories were forcing shakes into his step and his breath was tight as he climbed and pushed open a single door at the top floor, walking out onto the roof. _ _

_ _Somehow he managed to make his way to the ledge, leaning heavily as he took in the sight of the pale sky that was just beginning to wake with the sun. _ _

_ _His hand went up to the chain at his neck, pulling it out so that he could fiddle with the ring. He shivered slightly at the slight brush of wind, relishing the feel of it ruffling his hair. What he loved most about this house had to be this; this roof that rarely anyone ventured up to. He could breathe up here. _ _

_ _If anything, being up here didn’t force the feel of suffocation that was becoming more and more familiar as he continued to plot and move and...weaken. _ _

_ _Because he was weakening, the exhaustion that had forced him to bed nearly immediately after they’d returned was so uncharacteristic of him. He had stamina. He knew he did. All that training both among the Death Eaters and even Quidditch conditioning had left him in shape, even if it hadn’t felt like it yesterday._ _

_ _He closed his eyes, tilting his head back. _ _

_ _Had it only been yesterday that the Weasley had wed?_ _

_ _He smiled slightly to himself as he recalled Hermione’s blush when he pulled her flush against him to dance. She really was an odd witch. She’d say one thing, while her body would betray another. _ _

_ _Open. _ _

_ _She was open. Something he’d rarely encountered through his years. _ _

_ _Thinking of the wedding brought his mind to that symbol he’d recognized hanging around Lovegood’s neck. His eyes opened wide then as he finally pieced it together with a clear mind. _ _

_ _The Hallows. _ _

_ _Yet, they were a story...one, he admittedly had been drawn too as a child, especially when Narcissa had read it to him over and over at his insistence until he could read it himself. _ _

_ _She’d indulged his childish whims, and even fueled them when she confided that their line could trace their way up to the family it spoke of. _ _

_ _But what significance did that old crock have in drawing their attention back to it? _ _

_ _He was about to shove the sudden thought he had out of his head when he heard the door swing and then slam shut as another muttering body joined him on the roof. _ _

_ _Potter froze a ways before him, whatever frustration that had gripped him fled away as he reluctantly came closer to him. _ _

_ _His brow rose as he stayed watching Potter intently. _ _

_ _He’d have thought the other boy would vacate the roof the minute he saw him, but he should know better. Potter was more meddlesome and curious than he ever gave him credit for. _ _

_ _As he drew nearer, he noticed the slight bruises beneath his eyes. _ _

_ _It must have been a restless night for all of them then. _ _

_ _He wasn’t sure what prompted him to speak, but he felt that if he were to ever share some sense of kinship with Potter it would be over this. They both knew true horror. They both knew him. _ _

_ _“Does he still come into your head?” He asked quietly, keeping his gaze out on the horizon with his mother’s ring still pressed into his palm. _ _

_ _Potter didn’t say anything before letting out a long sigh. _ _

_ _“Yeah. You?”_ _

_ _“The memories are a bitch.” _ _

_ _Potter snorted, and he made out the other run a hand through his hair tousling his messed tresses into a greater disaster than they already were. _ _

_ _“You should really work on blocking them out.” Draco said. _ _

_ _Or we’re all dead if he manages to do the reverse...again. _ _

_ _Harry growled, balling his fists at his sides. _ _

_ _“I try, and sometimes it works other times...he’s just…” _ _

_ _“Yeah.” Draco let out a breath, “I know.” _ _

_ _It struck him then that this was probably the longest he’d ever gone with the boy wonder without hexing or shouting at him. _ _

_ _Potter turned and eyed him critically, and he felt the other’s gaze settle on the chain before turning to look out at the horizon. _ _

_ _“You look like shit.” Potter said then. _ _

_ _He snorted before coughing as his lungs fought the motion._ _

_ _“Thanks Potter.” He cleared his throat. _ _

_ _Potter gave him a thin smile. “Shouldn’t you, I don’t know be inside taking it easy. Today’s kind of big for you.” _ _

_ _He shrugged. He let his eyes drop to the ring before he tucked it back beneath his shirt. _ _

_ _“What happens will happen.” He said lowly. He turned to Potter. “Remember Potter what I said about Sirius...if I go…” _ _

_ _“You’re going to be fine.” Potter interrupted. _ _

_ _He shook his head, not trusting himself to say anything else. He sighed, incredibly tired and aching as he turned to leave. _ _

_ _“Draco.” _ _

_ _He stiffened at Potter’s use of his name. _ _

_ _“Nothing’s going to happen to you, but.” Potter let out a breath, “But I will.” _ _

_ _An odd sense of relief came over him that almost made him forget about the heaviness that was seeping into his bones. He nodded his head in thanks before he stalked off the roof and back into the house. _ _

_ _His feet took him to the kitchen where he found one of the oddest assortment of people gathered around at the table. Hermione gave him a thin smile, motioning for him to sit. _ _

_ _Feeling the weariness settle on him again, he gratefully took a seat and couldn’t help propping his arms up on the tablet and resting his head against them. _ _

_ _He closed his eyes as Hermione combed her fingers through his hair. He blinked slowly, focusing on her and forcing a rather weak smile on his face. _ _

_ _She returned it for a moment before it was replaced with a frown, palming his forehead and muttering about his skin being a little warm. _ _

_ _He shook it off as he felt Snape and his father’s gaze settle on him as well. _ _

_ _He felt his eyes close again. _ _

_ _He didn’t particularly want to answer any of the questions that were beginning to form in either of their eyes.   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _

_ _Hermione frowned at the slight warmth of his skin. Not warm enough to be considered feverish, but definitely on the way to getting there. _ _

_ _He was tiredly slumped over the table, with his eyes closed, humming in appreciation as her fingers softly brushed his hair. _ _

_ _She shook her head, unsure what to do. _ _

_ _Her eyes drifted up to Snape, who for once wasn’t even trying to hide the confusion and concern from his face. _ _

_ _Sirius let out a sigh before coming closer to them, and leaning down to speak to Draco. _ _

_ _“Draco. You should eat something before the Healer gets here.” _ _

_ _Draco shook his head, forcing himself upright. _ _

_ _“I’m not hungry.”_ _

_ _She frowned in disbelief, something she knew was shared with the two other men in the room. _ _

_ _“You haven’t eaten since yesterday Draco. You have to eat.” She said softly to him, reaching beneath the table to place a reassuring hand at his knee. _ _

_ _He looked like he wanted to protest before he nodded in defeat. _ _

_ _Kreacher was summoned and placed a plate of food in front of him, which he proceeded to pick at before a stare down from Snape forced him to begin taking small bites. _ _

_ _She let out a breath of relief in seeing the sight before taking a sip from her own tea and leaving him to eat without her scrutiny. _ _

_ _At least, he would have been eating if he hadn’t pushed himself away from the table and darted out of the room. _ _

_ _Bewildered, she turned to Snape and Sirius wondering if they had noticed something she hadn’t. Snape seemed to be straining his ears to hear something before he visibly paled and darted out of the room. Without thinking she stumbled after him down a hall stopping before the flung open bathroom door. _ _

_ _Draco was slumped against the toilet seat, pale and shaking as he retched the paltry contents of his stomach. _ _

_ _She froze at the doorway, hazily aware that Sirius had joined her._ _

_ _Snape had dropped down beside Draco and was pushing his sweaty strands of hair off his forehead and back. _ _

_ _Sirius seemed to snap out of his stupor at the soft whimpering sound Draco made when he seemed done with being sick, slumping forward so that his forehead leant on the edge of the porcelain. _ _

_ _He dropped beside Draco, rubbing his back and murmuring soft words of comfort that she couldn’t make out. _ _

_ _Draco didn’t seem to be hearing any of it and was instead muttering things toward Snape. _ _

_ _She came closer, and seeing her Sirius moved slightly so that she could sit at Draco’s other side. His face was scrunched up. She could hear a hitch in his breath every so often breaking the shallow and labored rhythm. He seemed to be drifting between periods of pain filled delirium and lucidity. _ _

_ _“Sev.” Draco whispered, “Please my mum. Please get her out. Please.” _ _

_ _Her heart clenched at his pleas that he seemed content to whisper over and over as he shivered beside her._ _

_ _Snape took in a sharp breath. _ _

_ _“Draco.”_ _

_ _“Gods it’s like he’s still here,” Draco muttered, closing his eyes, “Still tormenting me without being in the room.” _ _

_ _She took her arm and wrapped it around his waist, surprised when the action led him to scooting closer to press himself into her. His head dropped to rest on her shoulder as his eyes remained closed. _ _

_ _She tightened her grip, unnerved at the clammy sweat clinging to his brow and the fluctuations of his body temperature. She was so confused as to what had set him off. Was it just the act of eating? Or was it just a progression of this horrid curse?_ _

_ _Snape was muttering softly with Sirius and she caught the back end of their conversation that had ended with Snape excusing himself to personally escort both the healer and Bill here now. _ _

_ _Something about this had frightened Snape to the point that he was passed being merely concerned. _ _

_ _It made her own heart race in response. _ _

_ _Draco snuggled closer into her, and she realized he was still half delirious after being so sick moments ago. _ _

_ _“Sirius.” She said softly as she felt Draco’s breaths against her collarbone even out to indicate he was lightly dozing off. _ _

_ _Sirius blinked and looked up from where he’d been glaring down at the tiled floor. _ _

_ _“I think a nourishing potion would probably be best right now, and some water.” she said. _ _

_ _Sirius nodded before rising to his feet and stepping outside of the bathroom. She heard him call for Kreacher and relay her request before taking to pacing outside in the hall. _ _

_ _He didn’t seem to venture far, a few feet and he would turn back. Each time, he’d stop and watch Draco for a moment or two and then resume his pacing. _ _

_ _Draco seemed to stir on his own long after she’d gone numb from sitting for so long on the cool tile._ _

_ _He blinked up drowsily at her and his eyes told her that he didn’t have much recollection of what had happened. _ _

_ _His jaw clenched as he stood slowly but in that familiar elegant manner of his before extending his hand to help her up despite the fact that his own balance was teetering. _ _

_ _She took it, more for show than anything before shutting the toilet seat and having him sit down. She stood close and was surprised when he dropped his head to rest against her middle as they waited for Snape’s return. _ _

_ _“I didn’t think I’d be that sick yet.” She heard him mutter against her shirt and she dropped her arms around his neck to hold him tight. _ _

_ _Snape finally came back dragging a rather worried Bill and a kind woman who could only be the healer he trusted. _ _

_ _Reluctantly, she pulled away to give the Healer space to go over Draco. She watched the woman take her eyes and trail over Draco’s form once before pulling her wand and going through a series of diagnostic spells while asking him softly a few questions about how he felt and his medical history. _ _

_ _Hermione watched her movements in clear fascination. The Healer was almost graceful with her wand as she stabilized Draco’s temperature and offered him a few potions for the nausea and pain. _ _

_ _It wasn’t until the Healer, Mary Kendricks as she found out her name was, had begun to unwind the bandages at Draco’s arm that she looked away, catching the barest glimpse of the darkened veins that now snaked down to his wrist and stretched up to his shoulder. _ _

_ _She turned her attention to Bill who seemed to grow more and more grim as he asked questions and was answered by Snape or Sirius. When he seemed to have all the information, he turned to Healer Kendricks who gave him a rundown of Draco’s current condition. _ _

_ _Throughout the entire thing, one thing was abundantly clear. If they were going to do anything, they had to do it now. _ _

_ _“I’d like to see the memory of it being cast first.” _ _

_ _How Draco managed to grow even paler than he already was she didn’t know, but somehow the last remnants of color fled completely from his face. _ _

_ _He wasn’t even given the chance to protest before Snape growled out his disapproval. _ _

_ _“Absolutely not.” _ _

_ _She blinked in confusion at the vehemence behind the professor’s tone. _ _

_ _He seemed to realize it himself as he immediately steeled his expression. _ _

_ _“I was there. My memories should be sufficient…” _ _

_ _“Uncle Sev.” _ _

_ _They all turned to Draco then, who seemed to have relaxed somewhat under the care of the Healer, straightening as he sat up and met his godfather’s gaze. _ _

_ _“You were standing in the back.” Draco took a breath, “You couldn’t have seen everything.” _ _

_ _Snape looked shocked at Draco’s interruption and even more so at what was said. He seemed ready to ask how Draco was even aware of what had been going on that night, when his eyes seemed to swing to Sirius. _ _

_ _The other man had his hands clenched and seemed to be physically restraining himself from lashing out. _ _

_ _“You watched?” He said dangerously low as he stared down Snape. “You watched and did nothing. For Merlin’s sake you brought him back, and he wasn’t even conscious.” _ _

_ _Snape’s eyes flashed, though the rest of his face remained eerily blank. _ _

_ _“You think I enjoyed it Black?” He spat, “You may be the boy’s father, but I have been the one to watch him grow for 17 years. Through every illness, injury, success, and failure. What could I have done in a room filled with Death Eaters -”_ _

_ _“More than nothing.” Sirius exclaimed. _ _

_ _Her eyes went to Draco, who looked torn casting his eyes fleetingly between the two. For once, she could see everything play out on his face, confusion, shock, and embarrassment. All of it darted across his features, before he seemed to reach some sort of decision, adopting a firm though accepting expression._ _

_ _“Dad.” _ _

_ _Draco stood and slowly stepped toward Sirius, placing his hands out to hold onto Sirius’s arms.   
“He saved my life that night. He brought me here, didn’t he?”_ _

_ _Sirius’s anger seemed to evaporate at that, and he stiffly nodded. Draco seemed ready to pull away when Sirius wrapped his arms around him and held him close. _ _

_ _She caught the sound of whispering reassurances that, instinctively she knew, came from Draco. _ _

_ _When they pulled apart, Draco turned stiffly to Bill, taking a deep breath before he spoke. _ _

_ _“Can you do Legilimency?”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can be found on tumblr at lzficwrites!


	13. Chapter 13

He was jerked suddenly and when his vision refocused he was up high in a tower feeling the rustle of wind through his hair. 

The Astronomy Tower. 

He looked in horror at the fallen form of his headmaster, quickly shifting his head in the opposite direction trying to block the sounds of triumph the entering Death Eaters were making.

He did fleetingly register Bellatrix hackling and then alternating to scolding Snape for taking his glory of the kill. 

His stomach rolled at her words. 

Biting his lip, he found his gaze being pulled to the fallen wand at his side. He reached out to it, feeling the air hum and warm him the closer he got; his own wand heating and pulsing in his grip. 

Had it really been like this the first time?

“Draco.” 

He blinked as Snape took him by the arm and shoved him forward. 

“We must leave. Now.” 

He said nothing, knowing perhaps that his silence might be the one thing to save him tonight.

He was pushed forward, crowded seemingly from every angle. His lungs screamed in protest as he was jostled forward. The cackling and loud shouting around him was ringing in his ears and hammering in tune to the throbbing of his brain. 

“You should run. Go. Anywhere.” Snape said without so much as moving his lips. 

He shook his head, clenching his jaw as he straightened despite the death grip his godfather had on his arm. 

“I’m not leaving my mum.” 

Snape said nothing, but he caught his slight mutterings of how foolish he was. 

He almost wanted to object but wasn’t given the chance before the world twisted and spun around him, and he was dropped with a thud on his knees. 

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know where he was now. The burn of his blood and the feel of the wards was enough for him to recognize it, and for the ancestral lands to recognize him in turn. 

The Manor. 

He sprang to his feet, unwilling to remain down for long when he was surrounded by enemies at every turn. 

Again, he was shoved forward to walk. Knowing he had no choice, he obliged dragging his feet the closer they came to the hall. 

His eyes scanned around the room, searching for a glimpse of a single friendly face. 

He wasn’t surprised when he found none. 

He could feel Snape’s presence somewhere behind him, but it wouldn’t do him any good now. 

The door slid open and whoever was to his right forced him once more to his knees at the feet of the demon that had taken over his house. 

His knees ached, but he made no sounds as they continued to talk above him. 

Most likely about him. 

Idly, he thought what the Weasley made of this scene. The idea was a bit odd and for some reason forced a thin smile on his face at the utter irony of the situation. 

_Mad._

_ _ _He was completely mad._ _ _

_ _ _ _Above him, he could hear Snape making a case for him, but for every point he made another had something to counter it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They were vicious, and this was an opportunity to dethrone what had once been a prominent family. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They want me dead. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And he found the thought didn’t bother him nearly as much as it should have. He was so tired. So strained. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“And what say you young Malfoy?” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _Black._ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He automatically corrected in his head, just as he felt the first of Voldemort’s mental assaults at his mind. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The snake had a very distinct way of probing. First he would slip in from the cracks, smooth like water or air would in the slight holes of a house. When he succeeded in getting deeper he would spread, and in times of displeasure, he would claw and tear at the inside of the mind with the single purpose of causing pain while gaining knowledge. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He showed him what he wanted to see; twisting scenes, changing words, and flooding his mind with a jumble of thoughts that would normally seem meaningless. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He would let him see, but what he’d see would be nothing. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The Dark Lord pulled out abruptly, leaving him shaking._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I gave you a task young Malfoy.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He cleared his throat, hoping the race of his heart was not evident in his voice. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You did my Lord.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He swallowed, willing his heart rate to calm as he simply let go. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What was it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“To find a way into the school and to kill the Headmaster.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His words were monotone and rehearsed. They’d echoed in his own mind enough for him to know the entire speech he’d been given by heart. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“And I made you a deal did I not?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _A threat more like, though he dared not say it. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He raised his head to look the bastard in the eye, and resisted the urge to flinch at the sight. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“The headmaster is still dead my Lord and a way was found into the school.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It was a dangerous game for him to play. Escape by a technicality, but he would not cower. He’d had enough of it, and if he were to perish tonight, he would do so on his terms. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“But not by your hand.” Voldemort hissed, and the air in the room seemed to chill to ice. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“The Headmaster is still dead.” He repeated, not wavering in his gaze. Vaguely, he registered the stiffness in his legs and the pain in his knees. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He didn’t think he could stay upright this way for much longer. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Do they mean so little to you?” The Dark Lord taunted, “Your parents’ lives. Your mother’s life was yours to defend.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“My mother did not fail you.” he interjected boldly, “I did.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He heard a string of murmurs fill the room. It was a risk to so publicly claim a failing, but he was done with it. There were no games he could play now. He accepted as much. All he could hope was that his boldness and willingness to take punishment for it would buy him time. He could practically feel Snape’s disapproval at his claim and hear his Godfather chiding him on his foolish bolster in his head. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It was enough of a distraction though. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _A distraction from his own fear. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Voldemort studied him for a moment before a smile spread across his face. His heart pounded and briefly it crossed his mind that the sight made the Dark Lord look ravenous. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You’re quite right Draco Malfoy. It is your burden to bear.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He had no time to brace himself before he was blasted to the side wall. He stumbled, the breath in his lungs pushed out with the crunch of his ribs. He moved to stand but immediately found himself teetering down to the floor. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Crucio.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He bit his lip, tasting the first bit of his blood mixing with his spit as the burning spread from his veins down to his bones and out to his limbs. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was dying. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was breathing. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was drowning. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He resisted the urge to scream himself hoarse. He refused to make a sound. This was not new. He would not break so soon. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Again he felt the sensation of the Dark Lord attempting to break into his mind. Frustrated at his barriers, he pulled away and again he felt another cruciatus take hold of him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He lost track of it. He seemed to forget time as he went through the cycle. During the brief bits of respite, his vision would clear, and he could make out those around him. He was confusing them with his silence...his restraint. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _There was fascination, begrudging respect, and disgust on many of the faces he knew. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Bellatrix was to his right looking at the scene gleefully and to her side stood her husband, who was watching in rapt attention. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The level of intensity that Rodolphus was watching him made him think that perhaps the man had made a wager on how long he would keep his life. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _I hope you lose all your galleons you fucker. He thought spitefully. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He hissed at the next crucio. His first sound of the night. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _When his vision sharpened once more, his eyes met the dark one’s of his godfather. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _My mother Sev. My mother._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Again, time blurred together until he could barely distinguish between the beginning of one curse and the end of another. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He didn’t even realize his eyes had shut until the rustle of fabric forced him to crack them open to see what was going on around him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The bastard bent down, his dark robes mixing with the dark spots of his vision as he struggled to focus._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“It’s a pity that now you show your strength. I’d have thought you’d be raving or dead by now.” Voldemort teased._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His stomach clenched, twisting his insides in a way that resembled knots. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“But there’s always been more to you Draco Malfoy. Hasn’t there?” he mused as he bent closer to him. “You’ve been hiding from me.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He could feel his breaths tickling his skin, and he was overcome with the urge to spit in the snake’s face. But he couldn’t. His mouth was dry and bleeding. He couldn’t swallow. He couldn’t speak. Half the time, he found he couldn’t breathe. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“It would be better if you die tonight.” Voldemort said, digging his wand deep into his throat before moving it downward. “But in the case that you don’t. I have a gift.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _Now how did you cast? What did you do?_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His vision blurred, and he gasped for breath. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You don’t wish for death, not yet,” Voldemort said as he felt his flesh burn and tear under the other’s wand, “but you will.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He needed to live. He needed to live just a little longer, Lena deserved as much. Narcissa deserved it too, but if it was his life for hers...he could accept that._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His thoughts were broken as a pain like no other tore through his arm. It felt like it had been broken, cut away with a blunt knife, while simultaneously being set within a roaring flame. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He bit his bloodied tongue, but the feel of it overwhelmed him and his silence broke. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He screamed. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _And screamed._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _And screamed until he was hoarse and couldn’t gasp for another breath._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _And even then he screamed until the room faded into nothing. The grip he had on his own body was ripped away, and he fell gladly into the soothing grasp of darkness.   
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Hermione thought it had been a mistake to force Draco to offer up his memories so soon after he’d been exhausted by being sick on the cool floor of the bathroom. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Yet, he simply threw his shoulders back and met Bill unflinching as the other had pressed his wand to his temple and uttered the spell that would grant him access._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was shaking. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She’d sat beside him on the bed, threading her one arm around his waist to hold him securely in her grasp. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He trembled and a glance at his face showed it scrunched up in pain as tears fell silently down his cheeks. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Then he’d screamed, nearly forcing her to fall to the floor. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _And he didn’t seem able to stop. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The left sleeve of his jumper was dampening in blood, and she immediately drew her wand to somehow knit the skin close to stop the bleeding. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The healer was shouting for Bill to end the spell while calling out to Snape to gather her a list of potions. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Draco slumped in her grasp, going silent after his screams had turned into rattling coughs. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She pressed gauze to the wound as best she could to stop the rapid blood loss, while balancing his slumped form against her. She pushed his sweaty fringe off his face to get a better look at him after his breathing has seemed to even, no longer interrupted by harsh coughing. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He felt so cold. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Behind her, Bill gasped as he pulled out of Draco’s mind, nearly tumbling to the floor as he did. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The door to Draco’s room flung open, and hearing the voice of the intruder, Hermione’s heart warmed. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Tonks. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“What in Merlin’s name were you thinking? You should have waited.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“We can’t.” Bill said, cutting her off, “We can’t wait any longer.” _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He turned to her and pulled Draco out of her arms and laid him flat on his back. Healer Kendricks began setting up monitoring spells as Bill began unwinding the coverings of the wound. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Tonks pulled her to the side, and she felt herself being transferred into another pair of strong arms. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Tonks then turned and began assisting Healer Kendricks by casting stabilizing spells in rapid succession as Bill dug his wand and made a cut perpendicular to the one already deep in Draco’s arm. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Oh Merlin.” She heard Sirius murmur as he tightened his grip around her. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Her eyes darted between the numbers flashing above Draco’s headboard. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Blood pressure._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Heart rate. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Brain activity. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Magical Core output._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Temperature. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The numbers continued to climb. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“He’s overheating.” She shouted before fighting against Sirius’s arms and stumbling to the bed once more. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Her instincts seemed to have taken over as she cast in rapid motion several cooling spells. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Fuck. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Come on Draco. Come on.” She murmured to herself as she continued casting, relieved as the number showing his body temperature showed signs of dropping. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Bill was chanting low near her, with flashes of light shooting out of his wand and mixing with the blood already falling from Draco’s opened arm. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She watched entranced at the dark, nearly black, blood that fell from the cursed wound dripping down his pale skin beside the beads of bright crimson that was falling from the cut Bill had made. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Then, three different alarms began sounding. She froze from where she’d begun casting her 6th cooling charm as she took in his rapidly falling heart rate. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Bill was shouting something, but she didn’t register it as she stumbled in horror watching the numbers continue to dip. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _No. No. He couldn’t be. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Tonks moved to the front of the bed and pushed Bill out of the way. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His brain. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _They hadn’t cast a stationary spell before they’d begun working. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The curse was going for his brain. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _His heart. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It was going for the kill. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She wanted to scream out her deductions, but it seemed Tonks had realized it for herself. The other witch was rapidly casting over Draco’s head and then above his heart. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She couldn’t place the spells, even though she knew she recognized them.   
With a start, she realized Tonks was crying as she moved her wand over and over, though her voice never faltered as she cast. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Please. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Please. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Please._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Suddenly, Tonks stopped. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Draco shook before he bolted upright coughing and wheezing for breath. For a moment, he seemed to focus on her his lips moving to say something before his eyes rolled back, and he fell once more onto the bed. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“No.” Sirius shouted, but she caught him by the arm, unsure how she managed to still his movements. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She watched Draco for a moment before the spell sounded as his heart began to pump once more, and his chest rose in thin breaths. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“He’s fine. He’s fine.” She murmured, dropping her arm to wipe at her blurring and wet eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Sirius stumbled forward and collapsed to his knees on the floor beside the bed before he fell forward and wrapped his arms around Draco’s form, shaking as silent sobs racked through him. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She teetered back before she found herself being embraced by Tonks. The adrenaline that had been coursing through her veins seemed to be fading and with it the tears that she’d been holding back as they’d all frantically cast and worked fell over. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He was alive. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She registered Tonks murmuring the same thought as they clung to each other, only broken apart when Sirius had composed himself and come and drawn up Tonks into his arms. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Thank you.” he chanted, over and over until they all were eventually ushered out of the room by Healer Kendricks. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _He didn’t wake. His vitals improved and there were obvious signs of life, but it seemed he’d slipped into unconsciousness and was bound to stay that way for now. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She couldn’t leave. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Going for that simple walk to the loo and back was pure torture. She was so afraid...so so afraid something would happen and she’d return to find him gone. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It felt too much like something was sitting heavy on her chest, making her heart beat funny and her breaths feel short. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Was it right to feel so much so soon?_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _None of this was ordinary. Nothing about this situation was even remotely sane and it was driving them all passed the bounds of such notions. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Healer Kendricks had had to leave, but she’d been optimistic by the results of several tests she’d run. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _It’s up to him now, she’d said. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Bill had done some last traces for Dark Magic and curses, and found some faint bits of the former but thankfully none of the later. He was going to have some permanent damage, but it would be nothing compared to what would have happened if they’d waited any longer. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _It went faster than I thought. Another week, and he’d have already been bedridden and his muscles beginning to atrophy. _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Bill had left after that, exhausted but thankful that he’d managed to help Draco at all. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _She’d tried, in her own roundabout way to ask what he’d seen. He’d looked at her, and for a moment she’d seen him grow so upset that it had forced the air out her lungs. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _Merlin, he was a kid, after that...I don’t think I can look at him like just a child.___ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _It was all he’d volunteered and frankly it made her think that it was best she didn’t know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Tonks forced her out of his room to eat sometime into the next day. It was a kind of torture, she was sure, to simply eat and breathe while her mind was occupied with thoughts on what ifs. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She stared down at her plate in disdain before beginning to eat, not particularly tasting anything as she went through the motions. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She heard the chair beside her being pulled out before a familiar dark head came into view. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hey Hermione.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She put her fork down and turned to Harry with a forced smile at her lips. “Hey Harry.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He returned her smile. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“How are you doing?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _It seemed like the wrong question. She was fine, maybe moving on autopilot….but she was still moving. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m ok Harry.” At his disbelieving glance, her smile widened briefly at the normality of the motion before dropping off her face. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I’m so worried -” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Because he still hasn’t woken.” Harry finished. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She nodded, not surprised at Harry’s perception. When he paid attention, he usually was quite sharp. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He sighed and dropped an arm over her shoulders to pull her closer to him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“He’s getting there ‘Mione. He’s improving.” he paused rubbing her arm in comforting circles, “He’s just gotta fight this last round on his own.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She looked up at him, blinking furiously at the stinging in her eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“It’s just...he’s a friend, and he’s still not out of danger.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She caught Harry’s pointed look at the word friend, before he shook his head. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She didn’t know why she was grateful he didn’t linger on it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Come on, when have we ever known Draco to not bounce back after being shoved to the ground.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She cracked a smile. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Harry returned it before letting out a long sigh. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I suppose after this I can’t deny it anymore.” He leveled her a look, “We are kind of brothers.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She couldn’t help it, but a laugh forced its way past her lips and shook her until there were tears in her eyes. She turned in her seat to throw both her arms around him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Thank you Harry.” She whispered, burying her head into his chest. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _His grip tightened. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Course. What are friends for?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She pulled away, the grin still stretched on her face. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He gave her a knowing look, glancing briefly at her half-eaten plate. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I think you’ve been down here long enough.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She rolled her eyes, but nonetheless rose and practically dashed the rest of the way up the stairs and down the second floor hall.   
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her steps slowed as she neared his door. Taking a breath, she slipped in through the crack and walked softly to the chair she’d pulled up to his bedside. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She sat, taking him in before she reached out and began combing his hair enjoying the feel of his soft strands between her fingers. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She didn’t think she’d ever tire of this, watching him sleep. He was so undone in such a peaceful manner that she didn’t ever see while he was awake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _But he wasn’t simple sleeping. No. If he were only sleeping, at least she would know for sure that he would wake soon. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Time didn’t seem to matter as she kept her vigil, only registered when her own eyelids started to drop. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She shifted in her seat, debating if she should leave for her own room even though it made her ache to think of it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She stood as quietly as she could manage, deciding it would be best to stretch out and attempt a few hours of sleep instead of half the amount and in an uncomfortable position too. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She was nearly at the door when she heard the slight rustling. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Spinning on her heel, she zeroed in on the source of the sound. Her hand came up to her mouth as she watched Draco shift slightly tangling his sheets. Slowly, she stepped closer dropping numbly into her chair as he continued to move about. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Draco?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He let out a breath, turning on his side toward the sound of her voice. He cracked his lids before blinking a few times as though to focus on what he was seeing. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hermione?” his voice was scratchy and hoarse, and it seemed like it brought him a great deal of pain to even form the word. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hey.” she said softly, leaning over the mattress and reaching for his hand. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He blinked again, his brows furrowing. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“M’dead?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her breath hitched. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“No. Merlin. No.” She whispered clutching his hand tight. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He nodded, not seemingly registering the meaning of her words, but accepting them nonetheless. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He dropped his lids once more tiredly before forcing them back open. She could tell he was fighting to keep from slipping back into sleep. Sleep that he obviously still needed. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Your father will want to hear that you’ve woken and the Healer should be notified and…” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He tugged at her hand, effectively shutting her up from continuing to ramble. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Too tired.” he breathed, closing his eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She slumped, laughing softly. “Of course. I should let you sleep.” She moved to go. Draco; though, seemed to have other ideas. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You can stay.” he murmured his eyes still closed and his grip still firm on her hand. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Draco.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He tugged on her hand again, and she felt herself caving the tighter he grasped. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She crawled up and into the bed, slipping soundlessly beneath the covers.She gasped in surprise when he pulled her close to him, throwing an arm around her waist. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _It wasn’t unpleasant, and frankly welcome. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She wanted the reassurance of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _His warmth. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The drum of his heart. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The soft wheeze in his breath. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _All of it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She nestled into his chest, slipping her own arms around his waist to hug him close as her head rested on his warm shoulder. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh gods Draco. You were so close…” she whispered, tears edging to the corners of her eyes. She blinked, taking a deep breath to calm as she felt his grasp tighten and his fingers drawing comforting patterns into the small of her back. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She closed her eyes and without thinking pressed a kiss to his collarbone and then to his jaw. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Don’t you ever do something that gets you cursed again.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _He shook with silent laughter against her before he seemed to clear his throat. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Promise.” he managed to say. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She hummed in response, closing her eyes again already feeling the grips of sleep lulling her away. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Eventually, his breath evened out once more and she fell into dreams listening to the beautiful rhythm in which he took in air. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Each in and out, she thought. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alive. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alive. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alive._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews = Love.   
Can be found at lzficwrites@tumblr!


	14. Chapter 14

Her eyes stayed completely shut as she nestled even closer to the warm firm body beside her. She wasn’t quite ready to abandon the gentle brush of sleep or the comfort and soft warmth of the bunched sheets around her. 

A low rumble, something like laughter, echoed in her ear. 

“Well I’m definitely not dead, because this sure can’t be hell.” 

She cracked an eye open, unable to keep the slow smile from stretching across her face when she was afforded a close glimpse of Draco’s face barely inches from her own. 

“I don’t think you’d go to hell.” She opened her other eye and without thinking she pressed a kiss to his jaw. 

Draco smirked, huddling closer to her. 

“Morning.” he murmured near her temple before he pressed a chaste kiss to her skin. 

She smiled slightly, pulling herself up to sit. 

Reluctantly, Draco relinquished his hold around her, though he kept his hand close enough that their fingers still touched. 

Taking a breath, Draco stiffly pulled himself upright, wincing as he laid back against his headboard. 

“How are you feeling?”

He bit his lip before he answered. 

“Sore, but this part of me,” He gestured to his left side, “feels a bit numb.”

She moved a little closer and slowly placed a hand on his left shoulder, letting her fingers ghost lower. 

When she heard his breath hitch, she quickly withdrew. 

“I’m sure it’ll get better. You just woke after all. You still have a lot of healing left to do.” She shifted to let her legs dangle off the edge of the mattress, “Speaking of, I should go tell everyone that you’ve finally woken.” 

She moved to stand, but Draco reached over and grabbed her hand. 

She held her breath, growing lost in the intensity of his gaze as his eyes roamed across her face. 

He pulled himself up even further, bringing one of his knees up as he did. 

“Thank you.” he said quietly. 

She licked her lips, her mouth suddenly much more dry than it had been a moment before. 

“It wasn’t just me.” 

He let out a breath. 

“But you stayed.” 

Her breath caught, and emboldened, she let her hand rest on his knee as she leant in closer. As though in a trance, Draco came up even further to meet her, his fingers crawling around her neck and into the curls at the base of her neck. 

The feel of his lips stole any hope of her ever catching a sliver of air again. 

Her arms went around his neck. Her hands found the tendrils of his hair, and she pulled him closer. He moaned into her mouth when she nipped at his bottom lip before sucking and resuming the kiss. 

She felt one of his hands move to her lower back and crawl up her sides under her shirt, and she shivered against him.

She’d never been drunk before, but she had a feeling that if she ever was it would be like the buzz she got from tasting him. 

“And here I thought I should be worried about the lack of noise in this room.” 

Hermione abruptly pulled away at the voice, nearly falling off the bed if Draco hadn’t grabbed her in time. 

Tonks laughed, nearly choking from the obvious shock on both their faces. 

“Don’t you knock?” Draco snapped, adopting a frustrated expression. His embarrassment though was still evident by the slight pink tinge of his cheeks. 

Somehow, she knew hers were ten times worse. 

Tonks grinned and folded her arms. 

“I thought I was visiting an unconscious patient. Knocking usually doesn’t matter to them.” 

Hermione grinned, despite her embarrassment at being caught in such a compromising position. She slid off the bed, pausing at the side before reaching over and combing through Draco’s hair to fix the tousled look she’d created with her hands. 

“I should go. Sirius will want to know that you’re awake.” 

Draco looked like he wanted to argue, but thought better of it. 

He gave her a slight nod, and she turned and bustled out of the room her mouth curled upwards as her fingers came to her swollen lips. 

Merlin.

___________________________________________________________________________

Draco watched as Hermione left and bit his lip. Had he really just kissed….

His eyes met Tonks, who was still shooting him a knowing sort of smile. 

Oh. He had. 

He’d kissed Hermione Granger. 

Merlin. 

He wanted to do it again. 

He groaned, running both his hands through his hair, grimacing at the discomfort in his left arm. 

Tonks chuckled before coming to sit on his bed. 

“If I knew I’d be interrupting I would have waited.” 

He peeked through his fingers, before dropping his hands and scowling. 

“No you wouldn’t have.” 

Tonks laughed, shaking as she threw her arms around him and drew him into a bone-crushing embrace. He found his scowl melted into a thin smile as he hesitantly brought his arms around his cousin and tightened his hold in response. 

“Thank bloody Merlin Draco.” 

He let out a shaky breath and pulled away. 

Tonks’s eyes were shining, as she cleared her throat. 

He studied her face and on impulse, he drew his hand out and wrapped it around hers. 

“Thank you.” 

She grinned and ruffled his hair. 

“What else is family for?” Tonks said, her grin widening as he swatted her hands from his hair. 

He felt his brow raise on its own accord. 

“Well our family usually shows they care with a few threats, blackmail, or by disowning you.” He listed off, watching Tonks shake her head at his quips. 

He allowed himself a small smile as he leant back onto the headboard. He cleared his throat. 

“All that aside, speaking of family…” He trailed off looking pointedly at her stomach, “I hope you’re taking it easy. That’s my little cousin in there.” 

Tonks smiled moving from the mattress to the chair dragged up to his bedside. 

She hummed as her hand went to her middle. “I’ve been trying but the little bugger has been making my mornings and evenings hell.” She said with fondness. 

She looked up then to him. 

“I think you’re going to have competition for the most troublesome member of the family.” 

He scoffed, fighting the grin that threatened to spread across his face. 

“I am not the most troublesome.”

Tonks shot him a look, raising a brow unimpressed. She leaned in closer to him, a wicked sort of smile playing at her lips.   
“And you and Hermione Granger?”

Draco let out a breath, the corner of his lips quirking upward. 

“Now that is most definitely trouble.”

Tonks looked like she wanted to ask him more, but at that moment the door to his room flung open and before he could even register the new additions to his room he was once again drawn up into a firm embrace. 

He felt himself relax as he recognized the familiar scent and the voice murmuring reassurances and soft platitudes into his ear. 

Sirius. 

His eyes stung as he nestled deeper into his father’s embrace, suddenly not wanting to be let out. 

It made him feel small. Young. Like he was still just a boy sitting in his bed and longing...waiting for someone to come to him after a long nightmare that had left him shaking and nearly screaming. 

He caught some of the words Sirius was muttering. 

I’m sorry. 

Thank Merlin. 

Alive. 

“Dad.” he choked out, pulling away as the need for air overwhelmed his desire to remain hidden within his father’s embrace. 

He met Sirius’s eyes; the one’s so like his own. 

“I’m ok.” he whispered. 

His father flashed him a tight smile and reluctantly broke away, staying relatively close to him while still allowing room for the visiting Healer to look him over. 

Kendricks, he thought her name was, was watching him inquisitively and alternating between casting a few spells. 

With a sigh, she tore her eyes from him and looked over the various results from the spells she cast. Most he recognized, and he felt his own heart sink watching some of the numbers flash before his eyes. 

She turned back to him and in a low voice, spoke, “Mors Resistis.”

“Illud te lente.” he finished quietly, without even thinking. He felt the other eyes on him, but didn’t move his eyes off the healer. 

He saw some measure of surprise in her warm gaze, but overall she didn’t seem shocked he could place the spell. 

Or the rest of the incantation that went with it. 

She took his arm into her hands and unwound the bandages around his forearm. 

He grimaced at the sight. 

The skin was slightly irritated and red, with a new crossed and jagged scar on his pale flesh. Only this scar was dark along the edges, the remnants of the dark magic that would probably never fade. 

He was familiar with it, as his other hand went up unconsciously to his chest. 

Sectumsempra had left a similar mark. 

Healer Kendricks turned away and shuffled through a bag of supplies before pulling out two cream jars. 

“For the scar.” she said before dabbing some and rubbing it into his arm. 

He winced at the pressure, biting his tongue at the pain that shot through him.

She noticed, and her motions became more gentle as she finished and switched to the second jar. 

“For the preventing infection and pain.” 

He nodded and bit his tongue as she again spread the cream over his arm and didn’t stop until it was once again re-dressed. 

Hermione had come back in and settled at his other side and taken his right hand into hers.   
He smiled slightly at her action as his eyes drifted to his father who was watching them both with faint amusement on his face. Seeing Draco’s gaze, his smirk widened before he snapped his attention back to Healer Kendricks who was explaining the Mors Resistis curse. 

The Death Bringer. 

This curse was going to make Potter’s seem like child’s play. 

His entire physiology had been altered. 

His metabolism. 

His heart.

His lungs. 

Although with the last one, it’s not like much worse could be done. 

She warned him to be careful with what he ate, unsure if he’d react to things he normally wouldn’t have now that the curse had been broken. She outlined a temporary diet that by the looks of it, Sirius was already taking detailed notes on. 

As she was speaking, she took his left arm back into her grasp and began ghosting her fingers from his shoulder down to her hands, frowning at his occasional winces. 

“Can you clench your fist for me?” She asked then. 

He took a deep breath and did as she asked; not in the least prepared for what the action would cause. 

It hurt. 

Moving his numbed fingers was slow. It felt with each inch they moved, his joints dug at each other. 

It was some achievement when he managed to clasp his hand into the familiar form of a fist. 

Healer Kendricks nodded at the sight, muttering to herself. 

“Can you lift your arm?”

The mattress shifted as both Hermione and Sirius stepped away to give him room to comply. 

He managed to lift his arm straight out in front of him before he dropped it barely a second later, panting hard at the exertion. 

She walked him through the motions, focusing on his left side. 

Folding his leg, stretching it out, moving his toes. 

Gods. 

He was exhausted by the time she was through. Based on his performance, he knew what she was going to say before she did finally give her diagnosis. 

Rehabilitation. 

He’d lost muscle and nerve endings. His left side would never be the same again. 

He sat back against the headboard, his forehead drenched in sweat as Healer Kendricks wrapped up her examination leaving a potion schedule for him to follow and bidding him to get some rest. 

He closed his eyes without protest, not really wanting to see the pitying expressions in the eyes of those around him. 

He felt someone press a light kiss to his temple. 

“Sleep Draco.” 

Hermione.

He let out a breath, but otherwise made no other motions, listening as the footsteps faded from his room and echoed down the nearby staircase. 

When he could no longer hear anything besides the rasp of his breath, he pulled himself back up and let his legs hang over the edge of the mattress. 

He summoned the tiny muggle device for his lungs and experimentally stood, pressing part of his weight to his left foot.

As tired as he was, he knew sleep wouldn’t come. 

He had never been someone to sit idly by, and he was hardly going to start now. 

He needed his left side to work, and he wasn’t going to waste time on trying to rebuild the stamina he’d been so quick to lose. 

So with a shaky breath, he took a step forward.   
____________________________________________________________________________

Hermione sighed, walking slowly down the hall toward the kitchen. Draco had been sleeping for a while now, or she hoped he was at least. Despite all he’d already slept, he needed more. His body was still so broken that the amount of rest it demanded was surely more than Draco wanted to give himself.

She shook her head at the image of his face as he’d struggled through Healer Kendrick’s exercises. 

It was like a knife to the chest seeing the cracks in his expression the harder and harder he pushed himself. 

She’d wanted to tell him to be patient. That he would get there. Yet, she’d held her tongue as he’d closed his eyes and feigned sleep. 

She could respect his need to be alone. To have time to process everything. 

“He’s on the road to recovery now. Don’t make it worse by focusing on every worry you have.” 

She paused, listening to the voice echo from a room down the hall. 

Remus. 

“I know. I know, but what if… this time turned out ok. What about the next, and the one after that…”

Sirius. 

She edged closer, before she was jerked into a second room. She struggled against the grip before her attacker shushed her, and she caught a glimpse of red. 

She stopped struggling, and Ron let her go while motioning for her to be quiet. She glanced about the room, catching Harry’s gaze before he turned toward the wall straining to hear Sirius and Remus speak. 

“Gods.” Sirius let out a hollow laugh, “but he’s exactly like me isn’t he? He even said it, and I didn’t see it until now. And then Harry is so like James. You add in the Weasley boy, who is loyal to the fault, and Hermione...” 

Her eyes drifted to Harry, whose expression was pinched up in pain at the mention of his father. 

“Sirius.” Remus said. 

“This isn’t the last time the whole lot of them will be in trouble.” Sirius sighed, shuffling, “I keep thinking about when Draco was first born, and Lena was so worried that we’d doomed him by bringing him into a broken world. I -” 

“You can’t stop him from living even if the world is falling apart. He’ll only fight against you.” Remus said softly, 

“I know but -” 

“No Sirius. You can’t stop it, no matter how much you may want to.” Remus paused, “Dora’s pregnant.” 

She nearly stumbled at that, and based on the boys, they were just as shocked. 

From the lack of noise on the other side of the wall, Sirius was stunned to silence too. 

“It scares me senseless. Just the thought of it, terrifies me, but at the end of the day I wouldn’t...couldn’t change it for anything.” Remus continued after a breath, “What I’m trying to say is there’s always going to be trouble, we just have to try to overcome it.” 

They were both silent for a moment. 

“Congratulations Moony.” 

Remus chuckled before their voices and footsteps seemed to fade away. 

She stumbled back to look at Ron and Harry. She could practically see Harry’s mind working as the true weight of this war settled on his shoulders. They were fighting for life; new, old, and future. 

Remus’s news had been a confirmation of it. 

She pulled her wand and began pushing furniture to the sides of the room wordlessly. 

Ron stood, coming closer to her. 

“What are you doing ‘Mione?”

“I’m tired of feeling like we’re doing nothing.” She said clenching her wand tight, “So, I’ve decided we’re going to do what we can. Prepare.” 

At Ron’s expression, she continued, “We’re going to train.” 

A protest looked to be forming on her friend’s face, and without even pausing to think she sent a spell his way. Ron quickly ducked and scurried toward Harry, who had now broken out in laughter at Ron’s yelp and subsequent retreat. 

He wiped at his face before turning to her, with his wand out. 

“Alright let’s train.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

It took Draco until the sun finally set, to feel steady just standing still on his feet without support. 

It took him an hour after that to make his way around his room without stumbling and falling. 

He considered it an accomplishment, despite the fact that he relied heavily on the surrounding walls for support. 

By the time he felt comfortable enough to venture out of his room, he was sure that the rest of the house was fast asleep. 

Like he should be. 

But he couldn’t. He was too wired, too confused, and too frustrated. 

He’d lived. 

Fuck. 

He didn’t know how to feel about all of this. Sure he was thankful for his life. That was definitely worth the extra pain and discomfort that he now had, but on the other hand he was so frustrated with the position he now found himself in. 

He needed to make his next move, but he wasn’t in any shape to do what he knew needed to be done. 

He was consumed with plans, plots, and pieces that were all part of the game. 

There was no way he could simply unwind...not with the darkness surrounding his thoughts that was ominously pointing toward what kind of dreams he’d be having should he miraculously find a way to fall asleep. 

So he’d pushed. Pushed his body until he’d fallen shivering and sweaty back on the mattress for a quick kip before then standing back up to do it again. 

He paused on the steps, coughing at the strain. 

A quick puff of medicine and he continued down the stairs, rounding the corner toward the library. 

If there was anything that could distract him, he’d find it in there. 

That’s the way he’d always been. Things became too much, he’d try to get lost in something else. A book. A sketch pad and quill. His broom and the wind whipping past him as he soared higher and higher. 

Considering the state of him now, only one of those options really seemed viable and appealing.

He froze at the entrance to the library, completely surprised at the figure that was bent over one of the tables engrossed in the book in front of him. 

Potter. 

Merlin. 

He hadn’t thought Potter would even want to know about the library in the house, much less seek refuge amongst its shelves. 

He gripped the frame of the door hard, debating on simply turning around and hobbling his way back to his room. 

Unfortunately, his normal grace and stealth was failing him. 

His foot scuffed into the floor softly, but it was enough. Potter looked up and blinked up blearily at him. 

He cleared his throat looking at Draco intently. 

“Are you supposed to be up and out already?”

Draco shrugged, pushing himself off the frame as he walked stiffly and slowly toward Potter’s table. He made out the other rise as though to come and help him, but he waved him off. 

“I have to do it myself.” he said, clenching his jaw before finally making it over to the table and sitting down, barely stopping himself from dropping like dead weight into the chair. 

Potter eyed him, sitting back in his chair.   
“Are you alright?”

“Do you care?” he asked, raising a brow. 

Potter smirked, folding his arms to and leaning on them over the table. 

“I was just thinking it would be anticlimactic for you to survive a curse only to end up dying the next day after tripping down the stairs.”

“Like I would trip.” he scoffed, eyeing the familiar book between them. 

He glanced down at the page and noted the familiar symbol. 

“Couldn’t sleep either?” he said after a moment, letting his gaze roam upwards to meet Potter’s. He wasn’t surprised to find the other doing just the same. 

Potter nodded, dropping his eyes back to the page and then up to him. 

“I keep seeing things….things he’s doing.” 

His stomach churned, but he forced a blank expression on his face as he nodded in understanding. 

“You know this symbol, don’t you?”

He thought about what he would gain by lying, and truly there wasn’t much. A small part of him, the bitter part, wanted to simply deny and say he knew nothing out of spite. The larger part of him, the part that had grown and suffered, was practically begging him to simply let go. 

He had a chance for second starts, didn’t he? 

He nodded after a moment, taking the book into his hands and flipping to the story in the book. 

“It’s the Hallows.” he said lowly pushing the book back to Potter so he could read the fairytale. 

He watched his eyes drift through the words, widening and narrowing at points. When he finally finished, he sat back in his seat and slumped into himself. 

After a moment, Potter spoke softly, “They’re real, aren’t they?”

Before Draco could respond, Potter had begun to half rant half explain his thought process out loud. 

“My cloak. I mean, it’s better than most and...and it was my father’s. They aren’t supposed to last that long.”

Draco nodded, turning the page in the book back to the picture of the Elder wand. 

He studied the drawing, and unbidden, his mind went to that part of his memory of that night. The way the wand had hummed and pulsed magic into the air from where it lay forgotten on the ground. 

They were slightly similar, but then this picture didn’t look all that much like the pictures he’d read about....

“He has it.” Potter said, breaking the string of his thoughts. He nodded toward the picture, “He’s been going after people who know about it. I don’t think it’s working for him well.” 

He furrowed his brows. 

Something nagged at the back of his mind of just why that might be, but he pushed the idea away. He certainly didn’t want to think of it, but his knowledge of the Elder wand and the lore behind it was nearly too much to ignore. 

He cursed his grandfather’s obsession with wand making and consequently the Elder wand. How that one time obsession had become part of the legacy he’d passed on to Draco in turn. 

It made it hard not to begin to unravel the mysteries of the situation. 

He shook his head, watching Potter warily. 

The boy had furrowed his brows in deep thought before abruptly looking up to meet his gaze. 

“You don’t think...You don’t think Dumbledore wanted me to -” 

“To become the Master of Death?” Draco finished, and despite how much he wanted to hold it in he couldn’t. He laughed. 

Potter glared at him, and he bit his lip as he calmed himself. 

“No,” he took a breath, “Being the Master of Death it’s not...it’s not what you think. There’s no bringing back the dead or evading death when he comes...that’s a muggle way of looking at it. It’s more.” He paused, thinking about the best way to word what he’d learned in his own morbid fascination with those beyond the veil and the legends surrounding the practice, “Mastering life. Not being afraid of it, having the power to survive it.” 

Potter nodded after a moment. 

“He probably wanted you to make sure he never got all three Hallows though.” 

Potter sighed. “So just the Horcruxes.” 

“You say that like it’s an easy task.” He said bitterly. 

To his surprise, the other smiled at his retort.

“You’re right. Just trying to figure them out has been like searching for a needle in a haystack.”

He froze at that. The words seemingly echoing in his head. 

It’s like looking for something in the middle of nothing. We’re searching for a gem amongst junk.

Blaise had said the same thing, and again it tugged at him, begging to be put together. 

He felt Potter staring at him, and mistaking his silence for confusion, he began explaining the muggle phrase. 

Where had he heard about a room full of junk…

He stiffened.

It had been right there. Really, where would you hide something, but in the room for that exact purpose?

He nearly laughed out loud at it. 

Now if he could only figure out what the thing was. 

Potter cleared his throat, and he blinked, turning his attention back to the other. 

“You’re right. He’s had them hidden well.” He bit his lip, “But we do have one.” 

He sighed, rubbing his temples. 

“Have you destroyed it?”

Potter shook his head, looking slightly uncomfortable. “No. We were waiting...You found it after all.” 

He smirked. 

“Well what are we waiting for?”

He pulled his wand and cast a protection spell in one motion before sending Potter on his way to get the sword. He swore; though, that before Potter turned away that he was smiling. 

_________________________________________________________________________

By the time he’d returned with the sword and the locket, the room was shielded and all the tables and chairs had been cleared away. 

Draco nodded to Harry who dropped the locket on the ground between them. Then after a moment, he stretched his arm out holding the sword for Draco to take. 

He chewed his lip. He wanted this. He truly did, but….

He glanced at Potter and saw something in his eyes that he’d seen a thousand times in his own. 

He wasn’t the only one who needed this. 

He took the sword and before he could change his mind positioned it so that they were both holding onto the hilt. 

Harry’s eyes widened. 

He smirked at the sight before driving the blade downward to the locket. 

It burned. 

The sword grew hot and heavy in his hand the minute the blade pierced the metal of the locket. There was a hissing sound, and with wide eyes he turned back to Harry who had one hand up to his scar and the other firmly holding the sword down. 

He saw it though, in his face. 

Fear. 

Smoke seemed to fill the room and the hissing morphed into something more understandable. 

_A Malfoy and a Potter. _

He gripped the sword as he fought to push up his mental barriers at the voice invading my head. 

_No you don’t._

Somewhere beside him, he made out Potter likewise struggling with something as he gasped out in pain. 

The horcrux was fighting back. 

_I am indeed. _

He gasped as he was assaulted with vision after vision...with fire.

He could see Lena dying. 

Then Sirius. 

Narcissa. 

Tonks.

Hermione.

Face after face. Everyone he knew.

_Such a tragic beginning, and now a tragic end. _

“Stop.” He shouted, unsure who he really meant it for. 

_You never could have saved them. Not really. You were a wicked child who grew up to be an even more deplorable man. _

_You failed. _

_Your mother. _

_The father you knew and the one you didn’t. _

_Any friend you ever made. _

_The Mudblood. _

“Stop it. Stop. You fucking snake get out of my head.” He shouted, willing his shaking hands to remain firm around the hilt and pushing down with all he had. 

_How many lies do you have to spin before they realize it. _

_Where does it end?_

_Where does it - _

“Potter.” he shouted over the now persistent ringing in his ear, “Everything you’ve got on three.” 

His vision was blurring, and he felt his insides twisting. When had everything become so loud?

_I wanted you, didn’t I?_

_I saw something in you Draco. I saw a weapon. _

“One.” he called out, making out the dark head beside him dip in a nod.

_You can’t fool them forever, not your family. _

“Two.” 

_Not the Mudblood._

“Rot in hell.” he grit his teeth before calling out the final count. Before he’d even finished speaking, he shoved the sword down.

The hissing and ringing became a loud shriek as smoke spread from the locket outward and they were both thrown backwards. 

He crawled up back to his feet as his vision seemed to clear, ignoring the screaming of his muscles as he stood straight and stiffly made his way over to the burnt and broken locket on the ground. 

The shuffling of feet sounded and came to a stop beside him. 

“At least we know the sword works.” he said hoarsely, wincing at the ache in his lungs as he did. 

Potter nodded dumbly, dropping the sword beside the locket. 

He let out a breath. 

“What,” Potter said, pausing to lick his lips, “What did it show you?”

He clenched his fist. 

“Nothing I didn’t expect.”   
____________________________________________________________________________

Hermione woke with a start and stared up at the ceiling above her. She shifted slightly, pulling the book off her middle as she stretched and sat up in her bed. 

She blinked, rubbing at her eyes before she stood stiffly from the mattress. It was odd, she couldn’t for the life of her pinpoint what had forced her awake. 

She stepped out from her room, pulling her hair up into a bun as she continued carefully down the steps toward the kitchen. Perhaps a glass of water, and she could try to fall back asleep after. 

She paused at the second floor, glancing down the hall and noticing Draco’s bedroom door slightly ajar. 

He wasn’t in his room. 

Her brows furrowed as she continued downstairs. 

Where could he have possibly gone? He was in no condition to go far.

He just always seemed so restless, even if he was completely exhausted. 

She blinked, taking in the light from the corridor that led toward the library. She couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips at the sight. He really was as much of a bookworm as she was. 

Her steps slowed as she neared the light. She peeked inside and bit her lip as they quirked up at the image that met her. 

Draco was leaning over a desk with papers spread across the surface, a book slipping out of one hand and a pen in the other. What really stunned her were the pair of wide lens glasses perched on his nose. 

He was nearly asleep it seemed, but not so far gone that he didn’t notice her after a moment. 

He blinked and reached beneath the frames to rub at his eyes before he pulled the glasses completely off.

“I’m not sure I should even ask how you managed to get down here.” She said softly as she walked the rest of the way to his desk. 

He shrugged, shutting the book in his hand and placing it atop his mess of papers.   
Her eyes drifted to the glasses still in his hand. 

He caught her gaze and placed them atop the book he’d just abandoned. 

“S’for this nighttime eye strain I have.” he said. 

“And to think you made fun of Harry all those times.” She teased. 

He smiled weakly, but it was gone as soon as it graced his features. 

She frowned. It seemed so unlike him to be this quiet...to be this withdrawn. 

“Draco.” She said reaching her hand out to grasp his arm. 

He shifted away from her, sighing as he brought both his hands up to rub at his face. 

“What’s the matter?”

She dropped her hands to her lap, clasping them tight together. 

He shook his head. 

“You don’t have to stay.” He said hoarsely, “Go back to sleep. I’m probably going to be down here for awhile.” 

She shook her head. 

“I’m not going anywhere. Besides, you should probably be sleeping too.” She bit her lip, “Really Draco, what’s the -”

“Why?” he interrupted, his voice so low it was nearly a whisper, “Why do you do that? Why do you care?”

She sat back, taking in the pinch of his face and the clenched fist he had at his side. 

“Why does there have to be a reason?”

“There does.” he said, his voice rising, “I’m….” He cleared his throat. “I’m everything you should hate. I lie. I sneak around. I...I have something dark and ugly in me Hermione. I told you before, ‘myself and nasty’.” 

“I am not an angel and I will not be one till I die.” She suddenly quoted.

He clasped his jaw shut, dropping his eyes down to his clenched fist. 

“And I’m not perfect either.” she continued quietly, “I’m bossy. I come off overbearing. I can be narrow minded and vindictive.” She took a breath, “Christ Draco, part of the reason we ever got...close was because I was curious and... I needed to just figure you out.” She bit her lip. “And I still haven’t even done that.” She said softly. 

Draco seemed to sink into himself, and she could see the shutters to his eyes close as he clenched his jaw. 

“But you know enough now.” He briefly met her gaze before dropping it to the table between them, “You’ve seen more of me than most. What do you see?”

“Draco-”

“When I look, all I ever see is my past and my mistakes.” 

She felt her heart clench and chest tighten as his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. 

She was overcome with this immense feeling of loneliness. Like something had been broken in him a long time ago, and he’d finally been overwhelmed enough to show it. 

She wondered what had triggered it, and thought that perhaps part of it might have been how close he’d been to death’s door. It had to have left a scar that ran deeper than the one on his arm. Yet, something had pushed him over. 

She pushed her thoughts away, forcing herself to focus on the now instead of the train of her ideas. 

She’d find out slowly, after she’d managed to clear these dark and terrible thoughts from him. 

“Those who feel themselves despised do well to look despising.” 

Draco perked up, looking at her curiously. 

When he said nothing, she cleared her throat and continued. 

“You are you Draco.” she said softly, “and you aren’t the first person to make mistakes.” She willed him to meet her gaze, and as though sensing her desire, he did. 

“If we can’t come back from the mistakes we make, then what is the point?” 

It was a breath later before he replied. 

“What if I’ve gone too far?” 

“You haven’t.” 

Her response was automatic, and it seemed to shock both her and Draco, though for two entirely different reasons. 

She leaned over and tentatively placed both her hands to each side of his face. 

Her thumbs traced his cheekbones, the ones so sharp she’d once thought he could cut glass against them. 

“You’re a lot more than just a handful of mistakes. Especially to me. You’ve got to know that, right?”

A stray thought flitted across her mind, one that whispered the answer to the overpowering sensation lodging itself between her rib cage. 

She ignored it, too frightened at it’s true meaning before she did one of the most impulsive things of her life. 

She kissed him. 

Hard. 

He stiffened before he wrapped his arms around her and began to reciprocate. 

Please let him understand.

He groaned into her mouth, pulling away to catch his breath. He lent his forehead against hers. 

“You’re bloody amazing. You know that.” he whispered. 

She let out a breath. 

“You’re not too bad yourself.” 

He laughed shaking against her, his face wide and relaxed into a smile that she’d never seen on him before. 

His eyes were shining with emotion she couldn’t begin to place, but something else caught her eyes and drew her attention away. 

“Merlin.” she whispered, a grin tugging at her mouth as her fingers drifted to the one dent in his cheek that she’d never seen before. 

“You have a dimple.” 

He froze, pulling away as one hand came up to his cheek where said feature had been. 

“No I don’t.” he said stubbornly. 

She marveled at his rapid mood change, and she couldn’t help but think he looked incredibly adorable in his denial. 

She pecked him quickly on the lips. 

“I like it.” she breathed, threading the fingers of one of her hands with his. 

The tips of his ears reddened, as he cleared his throat while tightening his own grip on her hand. 

She smiled slightly, as she stood and pulled him slowly to his feet. 

Wordlessly, she led them both out of the library and then up the steps, pausing when his balance seemed shaky and his breath tight. 

“You alright?” She whispered when they’d finally made it to his room and he collapsed onto his mattress. 

He breathed, the movement of air making a rasping sound in his throat. 

“Ok...just a little winded.” 

She dropped beside him, turning to her side as one of her hands went to mess with the fine strands of his hair. 

“Do you want to tell me what that was about?” 

He shuddered beside her, and she thought he had every intention of ignoring her question. 

“We destroyed the horcrux.” 

Her hand stilled an inch from his hair. 

He folded inward toward her, burying his face in his sheets as he began his tale. It was near torture to remain silent and not interject every so often. She had a feeling that if she did, he wouldn’t resume it. 

She pulled him closer to her, wrapping him firmly in her arms as his head huddled into her middle. 

It’s how he stayed, shaking and gasping for breath as the force of his emotions came over him. When he finally calmed and the story was through, they didn’t separate. The thought didn’t even cross her mind as her grip remained strong and her own lids grew heavy as the need for sleep came back to her. 

His breaths were hot against her shirt as he spoke softly against the fabric. 

“I don’t deserve this.” 

Breath. 

“I don’t deserve you.” 

She wanted to argue, vehemently in fact, that it wasn’t about deserving. It never had been. 

But even if it was, he did. 

Sleep tugged her deeper into darkness as her eyes closed. 

_You do. I wish you would believe it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quotes from Huxley and Bronte  
Over 100 kudos, you guys are amazing.   
@lzficwrites on tumblr!


	15. Chapter 15

Draco blinked as he took in the faintest rays of sunlight peeking through his just barely shut curtains. 

He shifted slightly, stiffening as he was met with something warm pressed against his side. He turned his head, burying it into a spray of curls that brushed softly at his face while tickling his nose. 

He sniffed, wrinkling his nose as he turned away and gently pulled himself out of Hermione’s embrace. 

He sat back taking her in. 

She really had grown. Of course he’d noticed long before now, but with the chaotic nature of his life the past couple of years he’d hardly given anyone more than a cursory glance before being drawn back into his own thoughts and plots. 

There were hints of it though, back in fourth year when she’d undergone an absolute transformation into the girl with a hint of curves, full lips, and more manageable hair. 

But he hadn’t really appreciated it all until now, when he was sitting up in bed at some obscenely early hour after a rather terrible few months and rather traumatic night completely mesmerized at the simple sound of her soft breaths that were warming his side. 

When had she become so beautiful? 

He rubbed at his face. 

And when had he realized it?

Better yet, what was he doing? 

He’d never allowed himself this kind of emotional intimacy with anyone. Yet, here she was….Hermione Granger, the one person he’d found himself giving more...saying more to than anyone in his entire life. 

Even more terrifying was that he didn’t think he wanted to stop. 

He’d just begun to taste what it was like to be….

Accepted. 

Valued. 

Understood. 

The last worth more than any of the others if he was being completely honest. 

He let out a breath, coughing slightly at the tightness ever present in his chest. The sound didn’t seem to bother her as she hardly stirred. 

He smirked slightly, oddly amused at how oblivious she was in sleep compared to how alert she was while awake. 

Standing careful as to not rouse Hermione or agitate his still healing body, he stepped out of the bed and then came down to rummage through his drawer, grabbing a new inhaler and the coin he used to communicate with Theo and Blaise. 

The coin flashed as he pulled it out, and he froze at the presence of words along its face. 

_Need to meet. Info. Trace hurt. -T_

He swallowed roughly. 

It must be truly worrisome if Theo was contacting him for help with Tracey. It meant it was bad enough that he didn’t trust her to be healed well within Hogwart’s walls. As well as dire enough to go to Tracey so openly when they were both meant to be laying low. 

_Shack. Give me a few hours - D. _

He nearly yelped in surprise when he felt the coin immediately heat again with another message. 

_Ok. B. is coming too. Apparently he’s heard something. - T _

He sighed, pulling himself up back to his feet before wobbling over to his dresser and pulling clothes. 

With one last look at Hermione, he slipped into his bathroom for a quick shower. 

Gods knew when the last time he’d felt truly clean was. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Hermione was still asleep when he finished. A true feat as he’d nearly slipped and fallen far too many times for comfort in his mission to bathe and dress. 

His left side was still not cooperating completely, and the exertion at having to complete motions that normally would have been so easy to make was leaving him breathless and on the verge of having a fit. 

He leant heavily at the wall just outside of his bathroom.

Yet he still kept pushing. He wouldn’t heal if he didn’t force himself to go through the movements. 

Though, if he was a little less hard on himself, he could appreciate that he’d already made good progress. He was sure Healer Kendricks hadn’t exactly thought he’d be walking so soon. 

He could at least be proud of that. 

He sighed letting the water drop down from his fringe and onto his shoulders that were still bare from his shower. 

Wincing at the sight of his scarred chest, he fumbled around for a shirt. 

“Wait.” 

He froze.

Hermione blinked, looking at him intently with a bit of confusion on her face. 

Like she was unsure she had spoken. 

She slipped silently from the bed and came to stand in front of him. Her one hand went out, pausing a hair from his skin. She looked up expectantly as though seeking permission. He hesitated, swallowing roughly before he nodded once. 

He resisted the urge to shiver as her fingers lightly traced the two scars on his front; the skin around them going numb at the pressure of her touch. He was thankful she didn’t linger there as her fingers then moved down to the occasional bits of uneven skin at his ribs from where they’d been broken and healed so many times before. 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, wanting and not wanting to move out of her reach as she continued to explore and learn each and every one of the silvery marks on his body. 

She kept one hand to his front and the other going to his back. 

He heard her gasp at the small thin scars at his back, noticing perhaps how numerous they were despite many having faded over before new ones had been acquired on top of them. 

“I argued once with my father...with Lucius. I was maybe 13?” he said keeping his eyes closed, “I drew my wand and everything just went downhill. We both got so angry....and he’d already been drinking that night. He hurled a spell, not really thinking about it, and knocked me off my feet and into a mirror in the room. It shattered.” he took a breath, “That’s the older set.” 

“And the others?”

He said nothing and he could practically see; though his eyes were closed, the pitying and pained expression of her face. 

Her fingers dropped from his back and went lower on his chest to his abdomen and ending at his hips. 

“What’s this?” 

He blinked, looking down at where she was fingering the skin beneath the waistband of his pants. 

He resisted the urge to smirk. 

“Careful Granger, any lower and I’m going to think you’re propositioning me.”

She flushed before crossing her arms defiantly. 

“You know very well what I’m asking about Draco Black.” 

He didn’t know why but the sight of her scolding him and then just hearing her say his name was enough for a full smile to stretch across his face as he laughed hard. 

Her anger seemed to melt away at his actions, her eyes alight as she took in the mirth that so rarely pulled at his features. She seemed to linger at his cheek; at the dimple she’d declared she liked before she dropped her gaze down to his hip. 

He continued smiling slightly at her curious expression and pulled the waistband of his pants down slightly more so she could take in the entire picture. 

She studied the tattoo curiously before her mouth parted into an ‘o’ shape and she quickly looked back up to meet his gaze. 

“Constellations.” 

He nodded slightly. 

“Canis Major, Draco, Andromeda, Cassiopeia…” She said softly identifying the star patterns mapped into his skin, twisted together in the shape of a globe. Her breath caught at the last. “Gemini.”

He hummed in answer. “My zodiac and...and home to the star Narcissus.” 

She looked up at him questioningly, and before he even knew it, he was speaking. 

“It was an act of rebellion during 5th year. I…I wanted a way to have my family despite not being able to openly.”

Her mouth parted to say something but he interrupted her by moving his hand up toward the ceiling and letting a picture of the night sky seep out and cover the paint. 

“And I was growing too old to be doing this every time I went to bed.”

She glanced up in wonder at his small enchantment. 

“I suppose that’s one benefit to having a family that only picks names from the night sky.” 

He smirked as he ended the spell. His breath caught as he took in her gaze that had once more fallen to his exposed chest. 

He fiddled with the shirt in his hand, moving to put it on when she once again stopped him. 

“You don’t have to be ashamed of them.” She said softly, “Not with me.” 

“They’re hideous Granger. You can’t possibly see them as anything but.” He said stiffly; again attempting to slip into his shirt when her hand came up and caught one of his arms. 

“I see them as victories.” 

He snorted. 

“I’m serious.” 

He searched her face for some kind of lie and felt oddly warm when he found none. 

“You survived them.” 

He found himself unconsciously leaning forward, wanting so badly just to kiss her. Only, he couldn’t. 

Despite everything she’d said and every argument she made, she was and would always deserve someone better than him. 

He was twisted and very much self-destructive. He was his own greatest enemy, and his pride and his obsession consumed him. He had plots he was in too deep to abandon, and she was just the kind of unplanned factor that could get them both killed. 

She was dangerous. 

He’d always thought so, and he’d indulged in the sin that was her for much more than he deserved. 

He pulled back, slipping his shirt over his head and running a hand through his hair to right it once more. 

“I think they just show I’m damaged goods figuratively and literally.”

He moved to step past her to leave the room when she once more reached out and grabbed both his arms before he could so much as move a foot. 

He winced slightly at the force of her grip and blinking back the tears that automatically formed due to just where she’d gripped him on his left side. 

“You can’t just go.” She said, forcing him to meet her gaze, “You nearly kiss me and then turn your back on me in the same second. You can’t just shove this away and pretend it never happened.” 

Oh but he could. Difficult but not impossible. 

As though she could discern his thoughts from his facial expression alone, she hardened and continued her tirade. “You can’t just be this… this cool and calculated anti-hero and then...and then hold me like-” her voice cracked as her eyes fluttered shut and she took a breath to compose herself. 

“What is it you want?” She said forcefully, even stomping her foot slightly as she spoke. 

The sight was so childish that he had to forcibly stop himself from grinning at it. It had made her seem so refreshingly adorable. 

That question though. It made his heart pound and his vision blur, and like his brain had short circuited he had his answer echoing in his ear.

But he couldn’t say that. 

He clenched his fists, wanting very much to be the one to stomp his feet and just scream from the unfairness and cruelty of it all. 

_Fuck you Blaise. I know what I want, and I know I shouldn’t want it. _

Instead, Slytherin as he was, he answered her question with one of his own. 

“What is it you want?”

From him. 

From this. 

From everything. 

Her expression softened at the turmoil playing out on his. 

“For a smart boy, you sure can be daft.” She said. “I helped save you didn’t I?”

And maybe there was some Slytherin in her because that answer practically ripped him to shreds. 

“But you can’t.” He suddenly felt helpless, because all of his ideas for how to simply let her go involved her being less deep than he was. 

“You can’t.” he repeated, “You shouldn’t. Not me.” He tugged at the strands of his hair in frustration. 

“Why not Draco?”

“Because everything good I’ve ever had breaks eventually.” he said without even pausing to censor his words. “I lost my mother to death. I lost my dad to revenge. I lost my mum to circumstance and the man who raised me to greed. I...I lost my family, my few friends, and nearly my life to my own ambitions. Hermione, you can’t...you can’t possibly want me.” 

She looked up at him, her face calm as she dropped her hands from his arms and used them to cup his face. 

“Don’t you know better than to tell me what I want?” 

He tried to laugh but it caught in his throat, sounding too much like a sob for his liking. 

“I want you. You. Like I know you want me.” 

She leant her forehead on his as her fingers traced his cheekbones. 

“Gods Draco. Lie to the world, but don’t lie to me.” 

He couldn’t help it then. He had to kiss her the same way he knew he had to breathe. 

His hand curled around her waist pulling her against him as the other automatically went to the side of her face tilting her by the jaw upward. 

He paused just before her lips, his breath hot on them as he waited. This was her last chance. 

“Kiss me.” She whispered. 

And those soft words finally broke his resolve as he very nearly attacked her. She did something to him, this witch, made his head spin and his bones quake. 

Gods did she taste like heaven. 

He parted his lips at her tongue’s brush against them and took the opportunity to slip his in turn. 

She moaned into his mouth breaking for a moment and leaning her head against his chest. 

“This makes you mine you know.” 

He blinked in surprise and looked down to find her gazing at him with an intensity that forced air out of his damaged lungs. 

“So now I’m a possession?” He teased at her bluntness as his one hand went to twist around the curls falling over her shoulder. 

She hummed. “Oh yes.” She teased before adopting a more serious expression, “But only if you want to be.”

He leant his head to rest on hers speaking in barely a whisper near her ear. 

“As long as you’ll have me.” 

She grinned in response, pecking him lightly. 

“As long as possible.” 

_________________________________________________________________________

Hermione sighed, leaning forward against the table watching Draco engrossed in some history book. The plate at his side had been largely neglected except for the few bites of toast she’d forced in him. 

Healer Kendricks had been strict in her diet. Breads, porridge, oatmeal, soup, and a few choice fruits and vegetables until she could find time to properly run tests over him.

Draco didn’t seem to care much about the restrictions, but then he didn’t seem to care for eating in general at the moment. 

The fact that his appetite still hadn’t returned was troubling, but she supposed it was bound to eventually. 

She’d just have to make sure he didn’t starve before then. 

He shook his head as he read on, furrowing his brows in concentration as he muttered to himself. 

She’d managed quite a few secrets from him. His thoughts...parts of his plans that he seemed willing to divulge. 

He thought there was a horcrux at Hogwarts, something that had given her pause. Harry had assumed as much as well, but she’d chalked it up to his own attachment to their beloved school. Draco; though, seemed like he knew it for a fact. 

He wouldn’t say how and he wouldn’t say where, but the more he seemed fixed on his decision the more she found herself believing him. 

In a way it made sense, Voldemort had held a deep fascination and bond with the school. It had been the setting that signaled his true escape from the awful world he’d been raised in. 

It had also been the place he began his rise to power. 

The more she thought about it the more it seemed to her that Voldemort was rather ironically sentimental in a brainwashed and deranged way. 

_The fascination with the founders alone..._

“You keep staring.” 

She blinked at his voice to find him examining her with his patented smirk. 

He really did look the part of a charming bastard. 

Tousled hair and that infuriating pull of his lips. 

Trouble on legs. 

“I was just thinking.” She bit her lip, “that you need to start eating more.” 

His brow rose as his smirk seemed to widen. 

“You won’t get your strength back if you don’t” She continued.

He was calling her lie, she could see it dancing in his eyes, but at last second he nodded solemnly in acceptance. 

“I probably should.” he agreed with a shrug of his shoulders, “But I don’t think I can stomach any more dry bread. It would have to be something else.” 

She very nearly beamed and jumped in excitement at his desire to want to eat anything at all. 

“Let’s go down to the kitchens then and see what we can find.” She said standing and pulling him up quickly. 

He shook his head at her antics but obliged her. 

He refused her offered hand as they walked, adamant that he could manage on his own. 

He could, but it was slower and pained. 

His need for independence was admirable, but he really needed to learn to accept such gestures of help. 

She’d have to work on him for that. 

She nearly came to a halting stop at that thought. Her cheeks flushed at the implication that she now was in a position to do just that. 

The urge to press her fingers lightly to her still slightly swollen lips hit her then. It was a reminder of all that had happened. 

He’d managed to break her heart and heal it; fill her with fire and leave her cold and wanting, all within 24 hours. 

Hers. 

She’d said as much and after his initial resistance he’d caved. 

He had such a strange and misplaced sense of nobility and understanding of who he was. 

He was so inclined to pick out the negative automatically that it seemed like a rather prominent learned behavior. It truly sickened her. It was a kind of insecurity that had probably been bred much earlier than their time at Hogwarts after which it had only festered and been fed from multiple sources. 

It was nearly enough to drive anyone mad with need, but he hadn’t allowed that. 

No. 

Control. 

He had exercised such self control on that front. 

His step faltered slightly, and he leaned against the wall just before the kitchen door. His chest rose and fell quickly at the exertion; her ears already picking up a hint of a wheeze in his breath. 

“Ok?” she asked him carefully. 

He nodded, brushing his hand across his forehead so that his fringe was pulled to the side and exposing a thin sheen of sweat on his skin. 

“Just a little winded.” He said softly, “I think I need some of those morning potions Kendricks prescribed.” 

She bit back the automatic response to correct his informal address of the Healer, and instead simply nodded. He took another breath before pushing himself off and walking the rest of the way into the kitchen. 

He coughed slightly when he reached a counter, leaning once more against a solid foundation before saying lowly that he was heading down to pick some things out of the potion storage. 

The urge to get the potions herself was strong, but seeing his expression and knowing his need to not be pitied or babied she let him go. 

Ironic. 

She’d always taken him as the kind to bask in attention and mothering whilst injured back at school. But then, those had all been superficial injuries for the most part.

He’d never said much or asked for attention for the big things. 

She supposed there was only so far he could entrench himself into the lie he’d created for himself. 

He had always seemed incredibly private over personal matters, and personal limitations and extensive feelings, including pain, were surely a part of that. 

Her eyes drifted around the kitchen as she moved, opening cabinets in search of something else to offer Draco that complied with Healer Kendrick's diet. 

Nuts of any sort were out, as were eggs and a few other stray foods that he would be tested for sometime in the week. 

She finally settled on fruit from the choices she knew were approved. She’d nearly filled two bowls completely when the sound of stray voices flitted into the kitchen from near the cellar door. 

Carefully, she stepped toward the source of the sound and paused a ways further from the scene at the steps. 

Draco was lingering in the frame of the doorway, flushed and grasping a few potion vials in his hands as he argued with Sirius, who was standing not even a few inches from him. 

“How on earth did you get down here? You’re supposed to be resting-” 

“I’m not an invalid. I’ve got to move around if I want to get any better.” Draco said his jaw clenched as he stared up at Sirius. He was fighting to stay calm it seemed, despite the slight tremor of his body. 

“You don’t have to push so hard. Just take it easy for a few days.” Sirius reached out to take a hold of Draco who shied away at the motion. 

“You’re asking me to waste away in that room, doing nothing and… and trapped” He said with the barest hint of a tremble in his words. 

“If It’s for your own good.” Sirius said tightly. 

“No!” 

She recoiled at the force in which Draco had nearly yelled the answer. 

“No.” He breathed, his eyes glassy as his whole body seemed to tense and shake while his mind seemed a million miles away. 

“No… No...It’s not- It’s supposed to be different-” Draco shook his head furiously. 

She stepped cautiously closer, Sirius darting his head to look at her desperately. 

“Please don’t lock me up. Please don’t. Please.” His breathing seemed to quicken in panic. 

Closer now, she reached and took the vials out of Draco’s hand, an action he barely registered. He ignored her and turned to Sirius. 

“Please. Please.” he kept repeating, his eyes still out of focus though trained on Sirius. 

Sirius looked horrified and seconds away of being sick at what Draco was implying. 

“Talk to him.” She said to him, “He doesn’t even realize I’m here. You have to calm him down.” 

She held Draco up, feeling his body begin to slip downwards to the floor as he coughed in between his quick gasps. 

“Draco.” 

Draco looked up quickly at Sirius, who had seemed to shake himself out of his stupor. He reached out and paused only when Draco seemed to flinch at the movement. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. If I had my way no one would ever hurt you again.” Sirius said finally reaching completely out to comb through Draco’s hair and cup his hands around his face. 

“Come back Draco.” Sirius continued softly, “You aren’t there anymore. I promise no one is going to lock you away.” His lips twisted into a slight expression of disgust at that before resuming his calm and gentle speech. 

Draco shook in her grip, coughing so much that it nearly shook her along with him. 

She reached into his jeans, ignoring the blush at such an intimate action and pulled the inhaler that she knew she’d find. She shifted Draco into Sirius’s arms before crouching before him and counting softly. 

“1, 2, 3...Breathe in and out ok Draco.” She said shaking the inhaler in her hand. 

He seemed to recognize her presence and nodded dumbly as he attempted to comply, breaking the rhythm she’d set only to cough. 

“Ok good.” She murmured, putting the inhaler to his mouth and puffing in the medicine and clasping her hands over his mouth. 

He struggled for a moment, but closed his eyes and seemed to swallow in the medicine, calming slightly. 

She brushed her fingers through his hair and let her hands rest around his neck as he leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder. 

“Draco?” She asked tentatively after a few minutes. 

He hummed in response. 

“You had a panic attack.” she said, continuing in a soft voice. She hated to have to put him on the spot now, but they had to address it. It would be better for it to be acknowledged and out in the open. 

“I know.” He snapped pulling abruptly away from her before recoiling into himself. 

“Sorry.” He muttered, rubbing his face, “Sorry.” 

She shook her head reaching out to still his hands. He didn’t meet her gaze and instead turned to his father with a defiant expression. 

“You can’t force me into that room.” He said sounding oddly meek for the picture he painted. 

“No.” Sirius said solemnly, “Never.” 

Draco nodded looking relieved and completely drained, “I think I need to sit down for a bit.” 

Sirius immediately complied, bringing an arm around Draco’s waist to hoist him up and leading them both to the kitchen table. 

She watched as the need to ask questions welled in Sirius, and if she were honest, also herself. He said nothing though, helping Draco into a seat. 

He surprised her when he wordlessly offered Draco the fruit she’d put out before summoning the vials she’d placed on the ground after taking them from Draco. 

These too, he placed before his son. He turned away then, rummaging amongst the cabinets in search for the coffee grounds as he hummed a familiar tune. 

Draco seemed to relax at the familiar and starkly normal behavior as he reached out and clasped a fork before beginning to pick at the bowl. 

She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding before taking a seat and starting to eat from her own bowl. 

She had too many questions, and no way of asking them. 

For now, she would just take the victory of getting him to eat and not to immediately shut down following his episode. 

They were baby steps, but they were important ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating! I've been busy studying for several exams that are now thankfully over.   
Enjoy the update!  
@lzficwrites on tumblr


	16. Chapter 16

The first moment he could he excused himself from the kitchen. He’d picked at his food, played it cool, and the minute he felt some energy return to his numb body, he left. 

He couldn’t believe it. 

He hadn’t panicked like that in front of anyone since Pansy walked in on him near the end of 5th year. 

Oh Fuck. 

He pulled at his hair in frustration. 

It had just been the way that Sirius had said it...those exact words- Even if the intention was oh so different, it had set him off. Suddenly he wasn’t in the newly remodeled kitchen of Grimmauld Place, but rather in the Manor being locked in or locked out. 

The perpetrator always differed. It had been a favored form of discipline by Lucius when he was younger. Though after he’d been locked out of the Manor for two hours after a particular childish refusal to come indoors. Narcissa had found out about it based on his telltale cold that had developed and the particularly awful case of bronchitis it had morphed into. She’d forbidden it after that, and frankly from Lucius’s guilt, he could have guessed it wouldn’t be repeated. 

Though it wasn’t like it was the last time. He’d spent many a night in the dungeon thanks to his Aunt Bella’s belief in trauma as a motivator. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, shoving that memory into a corner of his mind and erecting firm walls around it.

He had no time to waste. Panicking and remembering bits and pieces like that were going to do no good now. 

He fumbled around his room, grabbing various supplies and shrinking them to fit into his pocket. 

He let out a breath, and slipped into a jacket and cast a few special glamours he’d been meaning to test. 

Quite a twist really, you’d only be seen by those you wanted to recognize you. 

He grabbed his wand and shoved it into his pocket and was just about to call for Kreacher when a knock sounded at his door. 

Fuck. 

He quickly slipped off his jacket and threw it on the chair by his bed just as Hermione came in looking a little cross and dressed as though she was about to go on some sort of trip. The whole look was complete with a beaded bag that reminded him of something Walburga Black may have owned at one point or another. 

Her brow rose as she crossed her arms. 

“I hope you weren’t planning on leaving without me.” 

He scowled. He needed to go. He had no time to waste, and he certainly didn’t need to spend what little he had of it arguing with Hermione. 

“What are you doing Granger?” 

“Where are you going?” she countered, pressing her arms even closer to her chest. 

He rolled his eyes without saying anything and grabbed his jacket. 

“I won’t be long, just a short trip. Nothing dangerous.” He said before he called softly for Kreacher. 

“You’re mental if you think I’m letting you go anywhere alone...like this.” She gestured to him, “For Merlin’s sake you don’t even have a scarf.” 

His brow rose as he looked at her with a confused and incredulous expression. 

He was running off of strengthening potions, and she wanted to lecture him about wearing a scarf?

Honestly if it weren’t so ridiculous and he wasn’t so pressed for time, he would have laughed. 

A crack sounded as Kreacher apparated into his room looking a little unsure at the scene he’d found himself in. The old elf’s eyes were darting between Hermione’s narrowed one’s and his no doubt furious ones.

“Master Draco’s called?” he asked hesitantly. 

He ignored Hermione’s warning expression as he bent down to Kreacher. 

“Kreacher if you could please take me to Hogsmeade.” he began before Hermione’s voice sounded and took away any hope he had of continuing. 

“What on earth do you need from there?”

He closed his eyes and took a short calming breath. 

“Hogsmeade.Ok Kreacher?” 

The little elf nodded enthusiastically, and Draco took his outstretched hand. 

“Draco, what-” Hermione said, reaching for him. 

He tried to shake her off, but at that moment she seemed to grasp both him and Kreacher just as the world spun. 

He shut his eyes and when he opened them again, he nearly growled in frustration. He glanced around noting the bit of trees they landed between, and peering around the trunks he made out the beginnings of a village. 

His heart sank as he recognized the houses. 

This was the muggle village to the east of Hogsmeade. 

Fuck. 

She’d thrown off Kreacher’s apparition. 

He watched her stumble to her feet, looking around anxiously. At the very least, she didn’t appear splinched. He could count himself lucky on that account. 

He just hoped that no one of any importance was monitoring magic that closely in the area. They were fortunate they hadn’t apparated right in front of any muggles. That would surely have alerted the Ministry, which was as good as a death warrant these days. 

He rubbed at his face in frustration as he made out Kreacher babbling out an apology. 

“It’s fine.” He snapped before softening his expression and turning to face the poor elf, “I certainly don’t blame you Kreacher.” 

Out of the corner of his eye he made out Hermione adopt a slightly guilty expression at being the cause of the old elf’s distress, though that faded the second she met his gaze. 

She certainly didn’t regret tagging along. 

Stubborn witch. 

He bit his lip, considering his options. 

He could order Kreacher to take her, which didn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t just find her way back perhaps in the company of the other two thirds of the Golden Trio or worse...his father and Remus. 

Or. 

He could cave and allow her to join him. Again, not ideal but revealing her presence even with a glamour to Theo and Blaise was better than being discovered by Sirius, especially when he’d lied not a half hour ago about going back to bed for more sleep. 

“It’s alright Kreacher.” He said reassuring the elf once more, “I’m sure Miss Granger didn’t mean to mess up your apparition and land us nearly at the doorsteps of a bunch of muggles.” 

Hermione snorted from behind him, and he resisted the urge to smirk. 

“But c’est la vie.” He continued, “Thank you Kreacher. I’ll call for you if we need anything.” 

Kreacher bowed not entirely convinced he was being genuine before he excused himself and disappeared with a crack. 

He sniffed, the cool air of fall in Scotland now catching up with him along with something that was making his nose itch. 

He held back a groan at the sensation. There was just something about the forests here in this part of Scotland that didn’t agree with him. 

“Ok?” Hermione said quietly, coming up to stand in front of him. 

“Perfect.” He said tightly before turning on his heel and heading toward the village. 

He heard her scamper to follow him, grateful at least that she hadn’t already begun bombarding him with questions. 

“We’re going to have to walk through this village and into Hogsmeade. I don’t want to draw that much attention to us by apparating again unless we need to. Magic that extensive could be being monitored.” 

She nodded in understanding as they fell into an easy pace walking through the trees. 

“I can’t believe you threw off Kreacher’s apparition.” He muttered, suddenly finding the entire situation far more humorous than he should. He laughed silently regarding Kreacher’s horrified expression. Seeing his laughter, Hermione attempted to glare at him before she broke and giggled softly. 

He shook his head, his sniggering turning into low coughs that grated against his throat. He winced, sniffling at the building congestion that was beginning to press against his skull previewing the headache he was already fastly developing. 

She looked at him before letting out a frustrated sigh. 

“You’re so stubborn.” She murmured harshly, taking her own scarf from around her neck and transfiguring it into a plain black one to match his jacket. She fussed over him, making a big show of wrapping it around his neck. 

“Do you want to get sick?” she cast him a look. 

He bit back his grin and let her continue to berate him. It was endearing, how maternal she suddenly became. 

“If I’m going to get sick, I’m going to get sick. Not much I can do about it.” he teased. 

“You don’t have to make it so easy.” She pouted.

As if to prove her point, he felt his nose itch in a familiar way. He turned his head just as the harsh sneeze that had been building up since they landed in this forsaken forest ripped through him. 

“S’excuse” Sneeze. “Me.” He managed before he sneezed twice more. 

She shook her head in exasperation before taking out her beaded bag and pulling out a small pack of tissue that she placed firmly into his hands. 

“Thanks.” He sniffled accepting the tissues. 

“See.” she said with her brow raised. 

He rolled his eyes and turned his back to her as he delicately blew his nose, blinking at the tears pooling in his itching eyes.

“It’s not that.” He scowled before tapping his nose, “It’s my stupid allergies.” 

Her mouth parted in understanding before she frowned in question. 

“To what?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know. I’m not exactly going to scour the forest looking for it. It’s just one more thing that makes it harder for me to breathe.” 

She grimaced. “I’m sorry.” 

He gave her a funny look before he shook his head. What did she have to be sorry for?

It wasn’t like she was in any way responsible, and no way was this a new occurrence for him. 

“S’fine.” He said running his index finger under his nose. “You don’t have to worry so much you know.”

Her brows furrowed, and he bit his lip to keep from grinning at the sight. He put the pack of tissues she’d handed him into his back pocket before grabbing her hand and lacing their fingers. 

“Let’s just keep moving alright?”

She nodded in response as they took off toward the sound of the village. 

____________________________________________________________________________

She stole another glance at Draco, unable to keep the worry off her face as she took in the labored sound of his breathing. 

His face was blank, but every so often she’d catch him clench his fist as he stepped. 

She’d be surprised if he didn’t have some sort of persistent neuropathy lingering as an aftereffect from the curse. 

The one he’d only just managed to get broken. 

That same curse that he really should be resting and recovering from.

He sniffed, rubbing his nose with his wrist. 

She bit her tongue. 

He really didn’t need to be pushing himself this hard. 

Her eyes trailed across the small village before a green sign drew her attention. 

“Wait.” She tugged his hand and forced him to a stop before pulling him in a new direction. 

“Granger, what…” 

“You cannot go on like this.” She said as she looked inside of the small supermarket and brightened at the sight of a small over the counter area. 

“We’re getting you some medicine.” 

He scowled and looked ready to protest, but she quickly cut him off by dragging him inside and immediately toward the display. 

Beside her, Draco seemed to deflate which only highlighted how tired she knew he was. 

“Hermione, we really don’t have time.” 

“Draco.” She looked up at him not even bothering to hide the plea, “You’re already treading on thin ice, not even recovered from…” Her voice dropped. “From that awful curse. You don’t need to be in unnecessary pain or get a sinus infection on top of that.” 

He looked away, dropping his gaze to the floor. 

“Especially for some secret yet important trip that you still haven’t told me about.” She huffed under her breath. 

She tightened her hold on his hand and brought it up to her lips, pressing them to his knuckles. 

“Please?”

He looked up, his fringe kissing his long lashes as his eyes shone from beneath them. 

“Ok.” he said quietly. 

She smiled slightly, kissing him quickly on the cheek before pulling him down the aisle as she grabbed an array of mild pain relievers and allergy medicine. 

“They have so many.” Draco muttered as he grabbed one of the packages in her hand and read through the label. 

“They’re all actually pretty similar.” She said over her shoulder as she, on impulse, grabbed a multivitamin and added it to her growing collection. 

It really couldn’t hurt. 

By the time she was through, she’d managed to get him a rather impressive cocktail of medicine to take. 

A fact that he didn’t seem pleased about. 

They reached the front of the register and before she could even dig into her purse for her muggle money, Draco fished into his pocket and pulled a wallet. To her surprise, he counted out the bills for the right amount and accepted the change before grabbing their purchases in one hand and entwining the other with hers. 

He led her outside and to the side alleyway by the store where he proceeded to read through the bottle directions before taking out tablets and popping them into his mouth. 

“You paid.” 

He blinked, swallowing the pills. 

“Well it was all for me.”

She shook her head. 

“No. No I meant. You have muggle money.” 

And knew how to use it. 

He smirked slightly. “Well, what kind of super spy would I be if I didn’t know a little bit about everything?”

She rolled her eyes as he chuckled softly beside her. 

With a quick glance around them to make sure they were alone, he shrunk the bag and she placed it inside of her purse.

“Apparently a very good one.” She murmured as he laughed lightly, turning to cough when his breath ran away from him for a moment. He let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his temples as they turned back onto the main street; pain still lacing his steps. 

She bit her lip before taking an arm and wrapping it around his waist, huddling herself closer to him as they walked. 

If he realized what she was offering, he didn’t comment. 

Though when his arm snaked over her shoulders and she felt some of his weight settle on hers, she couldn’t contain that small smile that spread across her face. 

“You told me before that you knew about the muggle world, but I just didn’t expect for you to be carrying around muggle money.” She said as they walked, now nearing the edge of the muggle town and bordering the thin stretch of forest that separated it from Hogsmeade. 

“I know enough to not make a fool out of myself.” he shrugged, before turning away from her to cough. He winced before stopping and fishing his inhaler out of his pocket. 

She resisted the urge to grimace at the rasp in his breath before he inhaled in the medicine.   
“You know.” She said then, “I’m not sure what the magical equivalent is, but muggles, when one of their organs fail, they get a transplant.” 

Draco looked at her questioningly, prompting her to explain what precisely a transplant was. By the time she was through, he looked a little green and something between horrified and fascinated at the procedure. 

He shook his head, rubbing his stuffy nose, simply digesting all that she’d told him. 

“There’s a way to regrow them. The person is administered a potion while under a stasis charm. It’s actually quite risky. Mum considered it for me.” his eyes grew distant, “But the procedure wouldn’t have helped the damage in my upper airways or around my lungs. I think when it came down to it, I was only going to see a 10%, maybe 25%, benefit if any at all. The subject was dropped pretty quickly after that.” 

She nodded in understanding as they slipped back into silence.

Draco shook his head, murmuring about just how invasive muggle medicine was before he took her hand and led them onward. 

They bypassed most of Hogsmeade, staying near the fringe and grasping for any stray conversation that would clue them into what kind of situation they’d landed in. 

There were patrols around the town, and some sort of curfew that had made Draco pale once they’d learned of it. 

“He’s making it a center.” He muttered, pulling her to the side. 

He sniffed before turning and sneezing softly into his arm. 

He wrinkled his nose in distaste before pulling her forward. 

“I think you’re right.” She murmured digging in her bag and pulling out a foil of allergy medicine for him. 

He grumbled something intelligible before growing lost in his thoughts. 

She wasn’t much better. 

Having such tight security in Hogsmeade was excessive even for a paranoid egomaniac like Voldemort. He was protecting something. That thought alone pointed heavily to a possible horcrux at Hogwarts. 

Her thoughts were broken as Draco turned them sharply to the right, and she realized with a start that she knew where they were going. 

“The Shrieking Shack.” She said, pulling on Draco to stop his movements. 

He licked his lips seemingly nervous at her deduction. 

“Who are we meeting?” she asked. 

He sighed before leaning against one of the nearby trees. 

“Three people….” He trailed off, “I suppose you’d say they are your allies.” 

Her brow rose. 

“Theo, Blaise, and Tracey, who may or may not be fit enough to hold a conversation.” He continued growing slightly agitated. 

He fumbled in his pocket, pulling a gold coin out and fiddling it in his hands. She caught sight of words flashing across its surface, and she nearly tripped as she pulled away abruptly after her realization. 

“Protean Charm.” 

He froze before meeting her gaze. Seeing no malice and only confusion, he smirked slightly and nodded. 

“Inspired by your lot actually.” 

She was impressed and when she extended her hand, he didn’t hesitate before dropping it into her outstretched palm. 

The message was short; only an update that they were heading toward the shack now. 

“Are they…” 

“They are my eyes and ears when I can’t be in certain places.” He said with a mischievous grin. His eyes though gave away his true thoughts on the sentiment behind that statement. 

Pain and sadness. 

He’d left a lot behind by faking his death. 

Had she been in his position, she doubted she could have done it so quickly and easily. 

“Let’s go.” She said after he seemed to catch his breath. 

She was suddenly incredibly excited for this little meeting, and, she cast a glance over to Draco, he really needed to be done with this and get back to resting. 

____________________________________________________________________________

He cast a disillusionment spell on the two of them right as the shack came into view. 

He half expected a protest from Hermione, but she made no complaints at his actions. 

“I’d like to let them know you’re here before you reveal yourself.” He’d given her a rueful smile before casting, “I don’t think they’d believe it was me if we both just walked in together.” 

She cracked a smile at that, but any other facial expression quickly disappeared as his spell took hold. 

He winced at the end, his arm briefly pulsing in discomfort at the display of magic. 

He took a breath before adding the noise muffling spells for their feet and finding Hermione’s hand he tugged them both forward and into the shack. 

It had been cleaned recently, he thought idly taking in the walls and stray furniture that no longer housed the customary layer of dust he’d come to associate with this place. 

That wasn’t the only change. There were stray books, potion kits, along with supplies that he recognized as amongst those he’d passed on to Blaise before. 

Someone has also refreshed the paint on the walls and repaired the holes in the floor. 

“It looks nearly habitable now.” Hermione whispered beside him. 

His gut tightened at that. It was, and the reasons for making it so were quickly flashing at the forefront of his mind. 

Had it really gotten that bad?

He dropped his disillusionment spell, edging closer into the room. 

He let go of Hermione’s hand, pulling his wand and spun fully into the room, placing his wand in a threatening manner on the neck of the figure bent before him. 

He recognized Theo, though he kept his wand firmly in place. 

“Where did we spend the summer before 5th year?”

Theo let out a thin laugh. 

“Where didn’t we spend it?” He shook his head, not turning to look at Draco before continuing, “We started in Marseille where we had quite a religious experience exploring the Malfoy vineyard before crossing into Spain and getting lost in underground Barcelona.” 

Draco smirked before dropping his wand and pocketing it. 

“I wouldn’t call it a religious experience.” He said with a teasing lilt to his voice. 

Theo grinned. “Why not? Weren’t you visited by an angel in white sheets?”

He flushed, suddenly hot and all too aware that Hermione was charmed invisible somewhere in the room. 

“I have no idea what Trace sees in you.” he muttered. 

Theo rolled his eyes before leading him forward into the room and then to the side where a mattress had been placed holding a hunched over solitary figure. 

Tracey Davis was certainly a beauty on a normal day. Caramel colored skin with hair that fell curled in soft auburn brown waves. 

It was a shock then, to see her so pale and her normally calm and happy face pinched in pain. 

Her shirt had been pulled up, exposing her lower back where a particularly nasty looking purple bruise was marring her skin  
.   
She hardly seemed aware of them or herself for that matter. 

“Oh Merlin.” he muttered before turning sharply to Theo, “I didn’t think this is what you needed me for. I can’t do-” 

“You can. You’re much better at these kinds of spells than I am Draco.”

He shook his head, feeling a familiar sort of tightness threatening at his chest. 

“Flattering as that is, I’m not. I’m shit at this type of magic.” He said, hoping he didn’t sound as frantic as he felt. 

He was lying, and not with a really convincing one at that. But he just couldn’t heal anyone anymore....not after-

“You’re not. You keep trying to convince yourself that you aren’t, but Draco not everything you touch is going to break. No one is just going to die by being near you.” Theo’s voice dropped. 

Damn him straight to hell, but he’d never know how Theo could just know such things or understand the way he thought. Perhaps it was because of their shared background and the experiences that had resulted from having a parent so entangled with the dark. 

Though, he knew it was more than that, at least in this instance. 

Theo had been there. 

At that revel. 

With that one muggle child. 

Yet, here Theo was essentially telling him he didn’t blame him and trusting him once more with another life. 

“You’re not some angel of death.” Theo said quietly, “You’re a person who happens to be extraordinarily talented with magic and damn good with healing charms.” 

Theo looked at him pleading openly, “Just help her.” 

He didn’t even say anything, dropping to examine Tracey more. His wand slipped easily into his hand as he began a series of spells. 

“How long has she had this?”

Theo shook his head, “I don’t know. She didn’t start complaining about it until the other day, and I tried my hand at it then. Only.” Theo bit his lip, “I think I just made it worse. I brought her here after.”

They slipped into silence as he worked. It was so easy to fall back into the motions. He hadn’t done a single high level healing spell in over a year, but he found it didn’t even show in his casting. 

His rhythm was only broken to summon some potions, and by then he was very nearly dead on his feet. 

The magic was demanding, and his wounded arm was burning at the exertion. 

By the time he felt Baise join them, his lids were growing heavy. 

He slipped into a seat, willing himself to stay awake. “Mate please tell me you have something for me.” 

Blaise shot him a look, studying him intently. Several questions seemed to flash through the other’s eyes; many of which were riddled in concern.

He must look about as good as he felt. 

“Blaise.” He snapped, drawing him back to the present. 

Blaise blinked before sighing. The disapproval in his dark gaze was practically seeping out into the air. 

“What you wanted to hear...it’s true.” Blaise began, “She’s been at least 3 times in the past two weeks. New security was added on two of those visits.” 

His heart pounded. 

“Any chance you know what they were?”

Blaise shook his head. “All I could get out of them was that it was nothing too dark. Just a few tricks.” 

That meant his aunt had already placed her main protection spells beforehand. 

It also meant she was confident enough that she didn’t feel the need to reinforce them. . 

She didn’t expect anyone to challenge her work. 

Fuck. 

“And were there any goblins open to...negotiations.” He licked his lips slowly. 

Blaise winced. 

“There might have been, but now....one of them’s gone missing. You can’t speak to any of them.” 

“Missing?” He frowned, running a hand through his hair. 

“Some higher up one too. Said he took off about a week ago.” Blaise’s voice dropped, “It was after one of Bellatrix’s visits.” 

His eyes widened. 

Had the goblin recognized the sword Bellatrix had deposited as a fake? 

It was a stretch, but possible. Yet, why leave if that was true? 

Perhaps no one believed him, and the goblin had been scheming to figure out just what was at play. It wouldn’t be the first time that a creature had taken interest in the affairs of humans. But then, the goblins were claiming neutrality with that only tipping in favor of the more valuable and viable side.

He bit his lip. 

They had to find the goblin, or at least why he’d left. 

“Name?” He finally asked. 

“Griphook.” 

He winced. 

He knew that goblin, he handled many of the vaults in the old corridor of Gringotts. 

“We have to find him. Figure out what he may or may not know.” 

Blaise nodded before crossing his arms. “Mate you’re not serious about…” 

“I’ve never been more serious in my life.” 

Blaise scowled. 

“Do you get a kick out near death experiences, or are you just hoping that eventually one of them will stick?”

He glared at Blaise. “I’m a Slytherin Blaise, all about self-preservation. I’m not ready to die just yet.” 

“But if it comes down to it, you won’t care.” Blaise hissed, “It’s just that luck has been on your side and spared you.” 

“Funny.” He stepped closer so that they were eye leveled with one another, “I’ve been told I usually bring bad luck.” He flashed Blaise a rueful smile that he knew would irritate the other to no end. 

It was working it seemed, because he could already see the sparks in Blaise’s eyes and the way his hand was gravitating toward his wand holster. He wanted to hex some sense into him that much was obvious 

Any other day he might have welcomed it. 

A good duel. 

A rush of adrenaline. 

An outlet for everything just bottling itself inside him. 

But at the moment, he was nearing the end of his strengthening potion induced energy all the while feeling both hot and cold every minute or so. 

Though, even if he did not welcome it, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight. 

He had his authority to maintain. 

Theo edged between them, shoving them both apart before casting a silencing spell around them. 

“Alright enough.” Theo said staring at them both hard. “Let’s just shove to the side Draco’s more or less suicidal tendencies.” 

He growled at the implication. 

Theo ignored him and continued, “What I want to know is why you look like you’ve been to hell and back, and why you brought someone here and still haven’t introduced us?”

Draco scowled, waving his hand to break the silencing spell. 

“Granger.” he said softly, as he leant heavily against the wall, “Come out.” 

He heard the other two gasp from to his right as Hermione broke her Disillusionment charm and stepped forward. 

She smiled sheepishly at the two other Slytherins before coming over to him; practically sensing his waning sense of balance. 

“You need to rest.” she muttered, grasping his arm when she noticed him slipping. 

He had no time to stifle the hiss he let out at where she’d gripped him. She loosened her grip before pushing up his sleeve to check his wound. 

The bandages were still firmly in place, only now they sported tiny spots of red. The skin around them was flushed and slightly swollen, and he felt uncharacteristically sick at the sight. 

An infection for sure.

It was still bleeding, he thought idly. 

“What the bloody fuck?”

Theo exclaimed, his green eyes darting between Draco, Hermione, and then dropping to look at the bandages in sight. 

“Still think he doesn’t have suicidal tendencies?” Blaise muttered. 

“He doesn’t.” Hermione said harshly before dropping his sleeve and whirling around to face Blaise head on. 

“He didn’t do this to himself.” she said crossing her arms. 

Blaise shook his head in disbelief. 

He could see Theo was half a second away from arguing with Hermione and letting him have it for his secrecy. Blaise looked no better. He needed to take back control. 

“Alright.” He said sharply, ignoring the prickling at his neck... were they being watched?

“I was cursed, and I went to their side and brokered an alliance. They helped me with this.” He held up his arm, “And I’m helping us both get what we all want.” 

He let out a breath. 

“Now, is there anything else you found out?” 

He had a feeling then that had Hermione not been with him, he would have been met with more vehement arguing from both Theo and Blaise. As it stood, they both fell silent, glancing at one another before seemingly coming to some conclusion. 

Theo still looked conflicted as he stepped forward, his gaze traveling toward Hermione before he sighed and faced him. 

“I talked to the Grey Lady.”

His jaw went slack as Theo continued. 

“I was on patrols, and I happened upon Lovegood chatting it up with her. She was calling her Helena and naturally I put two and two together rather fast.” 

“Helena Ravenclaw.” Hermione breathed.

Theo spared a nod in her direction before he resumed his story, “So of course, I wait until Lovegood’s done and I swoop in. I ask if she is actually Helena Ravenclaw and start laying on the praise thick. I go on for a while before mentioning in passing that it’s a shame how such great witches and wizards like herself and the founders didn’t leave more behind for us to treasure and learn from.” 

He edged closer, feeling that same prickling sensation at his neck. He shoved it away, letting his hand drift to his wand before turning his focus back to Theo. 

“And she laughed, telling me I’m not the first handsome snake to stumble in her path, and she wouldn’t fall for it again. Something about the last one taking her mother’s crowning glory and turned it into something poisonous.”

He’d been right. 

It had been something of Ravenclaw’s that made up the horcrux at Hogwarts. 

But that phrase. Crowning glory…

“I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about and thanked her for speaking with me and that I hoped to do it again.” Theo shook his head, “She laughed at me again and said that we snakes always go into the eagle’s nest, but we never commit.” 

He tuned the rest out. 

Crowning glory….

He’d heard that before, but it was such a long shot. The stories all claimed it was lost. 

“That might have been bitterness on her part.” Hermione mused, “After all there were so many rumors about why Ravenclaw refused to reveal the paternity of her child. Many speculated Slytherin himself…”

He shook his head, closing his eyes tight. 

The Diadem was said to be lost forever, but it fit it all perfectly. Helena must have known it’s location and told Voldemort himself...She’d said that she’d told someone something valuable. 

A Slytherin. 

And Voldemort had certainly been a Slytherin capable of turning a priceless artifact into poison.

And it would have been simple to hide it away then in the Room of Hidden Things later. 

A vision of the room flashed before his eyes, and his heart nearly stopped at the recollection. There had been a crown in the room of junk, placed right on top of a ghastly statue he’d contemplated breaking when his frustrations at the cabinet were threatening to spill over. 

“It is there. Ravenclaw’s diadem was in the room the whole time.” he said. 

They all went silent. 

“Ravenclaw’s Diadem was lost Draco.” Blaise said flatly. 

He shook his head. “It’s there. I saw it more than enough when I was in there working on that fucking cabinet.” 

Theo looked nervous for a moment then. 

“If that’s true, we better hope Pansy hasn’t spotted it and become intrigued.” 

At his questioning look, Theo explained. 

“She’s been plotting lately.” 

His brow rose. 

“Pansy plotting is nothing new Theo.” 

“This is different. She’s been asking questions, frequenting places you used to go. She even commented in passing that the wards at the Manor didn’t feel any different.” 

He paled. 

“It’s only a matter of time before she decides to act on her assumptions, and frankly I don’t think she’s the only one. I’ve heard things about Lucius’s behavior that don’t add up either.” Theo said. 

He felt his stomach churn at the mention of the man who raised him before that same sensation forced the small hairs at the back of his neck to stand straight. 

He moved and without a word reapplied his Disillusionment charm. Out of the corner of his eye, he made out Hermione beginning to do the same. 

Though, her action wasn’t fast enough. 

The sensation of being watched gave way to the sounds of light footsteps before an angry growl followed. 

He nearly shook at the sight of Alecto Carrow walking into the room from the tunnel and taking in, with her hard glare, the sight of Theo, Blaise, a peacefully sleeping Tracey, and a half disillusioned Hermione. 

“What do we have here?” She said, her voice grating against his ears as she spoke, “Two members of noble houses, a half breed.” She sniffed looking at Hermione with unconcealed disdain. “And a mudblood.” 

He could practically see the muscles of Alecto’s arms tightening and readying to put her wand to use. He could anticipate the first spells that would follow. 

He could see how terrible that would end. 

She may be outnumbered, but Alecto was fierce, borderline deranged, and hardly won a duel by fighting fair. 

So he moved, and in near seconds, he was at her back with his own wand at her neck. 

She stiffened against him, feeling the press of a wand at her throat, but unable to see her attacker. 

“Drop your wand.” he growled, purposefully thickening his voice to rough it from recognition. 

Alecto complied, dropping the piece of wood at her feet that he promptly kicked over to Blaise, who pocketed it without a word. 

“How’d you get in here?” he said. 

“The Headmaster was kind enough to inform us all about this wonderful little path.” Alecto spat, “But imagine my surprise when I see two students frequenting what is supposed to be a secret passage. It is suspect, isn’t it?” She laughed then, shaking in a way that made Draco question just how much her sanity had slipped in the months since he’d last been forced into her company. 

“Cowardly to hide behind a charm isn’t it? You can’t be Potter then. He’s far too stupidly transparent.” Alecto hummed. 

“It’s not too cowardly if you’re at my mercy.” he hissed, sending a shock through her that brought her to her knees that he promptly bound together. 

Alecto tilted her head in wonder. 

“Not that Weasley boy either. Hot head and no ability to be deceptive.” 

He nearly snorted at the idea that he could be Weasley. 

Alecto sniffed before letting out a throaty sigh. 

“Hmm...but that scent, I know it from a lifetime ago. It belonged to a rather delicious looking wizard who sat across from me at our table.” 

He said nothing, but his silence seemed to be answer enough for Alecto, who fell to another string of giggles. 

“Oh but silly me, he’s but a ghost now. Isn’t he Malfoy?”

He pressed his wand deeper, pushing his mind forward into Alecto’s. Her walls were hard, but they were filled with cracks. Ones that he had no problem exploiting. 

She thrashed against him. 

“Out. Out.” She exclaimed. “Out of my head.” 

He pushed deeper, searching and taking in all that he could before he moved to withdraw. 

Just as he was pulling out, Alecto pushed against him and though she didn’t make it through she still felt him. 

She went nearly limp against him. 

“It is you.” She breathed, “I recognize it.” 

He was about to stun and obliviate her when she beat him by speaking. 

“What are you doing in hiding you filthy traitor...have you no pride, no backbone.” She laughed then, “But how could you with a father like Lucius. He’s a living ghost in his own Manor. And your ice queen bitch of a mother. Well, she’s all but cracked-”

“What are you fucking raving about?” he raged. 

“And he speaks. At Narcissa’s fall no less.”

“Don’t toy with me Alecto.” He hissed. “What’s happened to Narcissa?”

“What hasn’t happened to her?” She cackled. 

Before he could say anything, Alecto went quiet and fell at his feet. 

Hermione scowled at the woman’s slumped form with her wand still out in front of her. 

“Obliviate her.” She said stiffly. 

He wasted no time, but the whole while he was raging. When he succeeded in implanting and twisting her memories, he turned sharply to Theo. 

“What have you heard?” He hissed at Theo, who looked chastened. 

“Mate. I haven’t heard much, but it’s not-”

“Fuck.” he stumbled out of the shack. “Find out.” 

“Draco-” 

“Tracey’ll stay asleep for another hour. I left some potions. One every 12 hours.” 

He didn’t wait for a response before he rushed back into the forest with Hermione at his feet. She didn’t have to move fast, his anger gave away rather quickly and his steps grew more restrained as he tiredly made his way through the outskirts. 

They were nearly at the muggle village when she finally spoke.

“Don’t be rash Draco. Be calm-” 

“They’re torturing her.” He hissed, unable to even maintain his illusion of calm. 

“My mum is being tortured in her own home, how am I supposed to be calm?” he growled, his voice cracking with emotion. 

“I know.” She winced, reaching for his hand, “But you can’t just storm the Manor. It won’t end well.” 

He tried to pull himself out of her grasp, but at the moment he was blind in his rage and tired from everything else. Her grip didn’t even loosen, though he could see her trembling. From what, he didn’t know. 

“Calm. Calm. We have to stay calm.” She murmured over and over to herself before dragging him near the supermarket they’d gone to to get his muggle medicine. 

To his surprise, she pulled them to the counter and asked the clerk for a pack of Marlboro's 

She paid quickly and before he knew it, they were back outside and Hermione had a cigarette in her fingers. 

She took one long drag before closing her eyes and relaxing as the nicotine seemed to calm her. It was a fascinating sight really. He’d never thought the image of Hermione Granger smoking a muggle cigarette would spark such quakes in his chest. 

She let out a puff of smoke before opening her eyes and offering up the cigarette to him. 

He hesitated. 

The wrong move apparently, because her face hardened. 

“What, afraid of my germs now?” She snapped, her nerves obviously still frayed from their rather action packed past hour or so. 

Her question confused him, because surely she knew that he was not even remotely that person any longer. 

A reminder then so that she would remember in the future.

He took the cigarette into his hands. 

“I can’t believe you’re offering a cigarette to the boy with bad lungs.” he muttered. As her face morphed into one of realization, he took one long shot of the smoke before nearly immediately puffing it out. He let the feel of the smoke soothe him before he turned and coughed lightly into his arm, offering the cigarette back to her. 

She looked horrified muttering apologies before putting the cigarette out on the brick of the building they were leaning against.

He waved off her rambling. 

“It’s fine. I forget sometimes too. I’m more curious about why you thought of smoking as a way to calm down.” 

She blushed, dropping her gaze to her shoes. 

“My grandfather used to. I suppose I grew up thinking the smell was comforting, despite how bad I know it is for you.” she murmured before looking up, “And you needed it. We both did.” 

“I’m getting her out.” He said harshly. 

To his surprise, Hermione merely nodded. 

“Of course, we’ll do it together.” She said taking both his hands into hers and drawing herself closer. 

“But please. No rash moves. You just broke one curse. I don’t want to have to see you suffer a second.” 

He folded wearily over, dropping his head tiredly to rest on hers. 

She hummed, kissing his nose lightly before dropping lower and pecking his lips. 

“Ok?” she asked. 

He sighed, willing away his hot anger and rage in favor of his rationality. 

She was right, as she usually was.

He nodded his assent. 

“Good.” She whispered hugging him tight as he apparated them both back to Grimmauld Place ideas for plans already filling his mind. 

He slumped against her as they landed. His legs nearly giving out as they both fell onto his mattress. 

He closed his eyes tiredly and let out a frustrated sigh. 

“I need to think.” he muttered to himself. 

“You need to rest.” she said firmly. She let her hands comb through his hair and down to his neck soothingly. 

He relaxed, though he still seemed lost in idea after idea. 

How he had the energy was beyond her. 

He was pale from the exertion, and his breathing was still shallow and labored. She sighed leaning her head on his shoulder, picking up the abnormally fast fluttering of his heart. 

And of course there was the fact that the bandages at his arm needed to be changed. 

He was in no shape to do anything. Frankly, he hadn’t been in any shape to go out at all today. 

But Draco was defiant if nothing else. 

It made for a dangerous combination. 

Drive, a cunning mind, and knowledge that was equaled in only one other. 

All her life she’d wondered if she’d ever meet a single person who could match her point for point only to discover that she had with one particular boy. 

A boy who took his mind and used it like a sword. 

“I can’t believe this is coming from me, but.” She said softly pressing light kisses to his closed eyelids. “Turn off that brain of yours for a bit.” 

He let out a puff of air that sounded suspiciously like a laugh before fluttering his lids to meet her gaze. 

“I can’t. I have to-”

“Draco.” She interrupted, taking his hand into hers and squeezing firmly. 

“You don’t have to carry all the weight of that worry by yourself. Not anymore.” 

She bit her lip. 

“I’ll help you, but right now please just get some sleep. You’re no good to anyone if you're sick and sleep deprived.” 

He looked like he wanted to argue, and she was already preparing possible rebuttals to anything he might say when he sighed forcefully and fell back onto the bed with a soft thud. 

“Ok.” he murmured. 

“Wake me if anything important happens.” he said bearing his eyes into her. 

She resisted the urge to shiver and nodded in reply. 

His expression softened and he came up and pecked her lightly on the lips. 

“Such an odd bossy know it all Gryffindor.” he said fondly before kicking off his shoes and slipping gracefully out of his coat. 

“Such a stubborn ferret prince of Slytherin.” She returned. 

He laughed softly at that, letting her drop the covers over his form. She lingered with her fingers at the edge of his face, noting the warmth of his skin. 

She hoped that didn’t mean the probable infection at his wound was flaring up and ravaging the rest of his body. 

He hummed in response, cocooning himself in the blankets. 

She smiled slightly before quietly making her way out of his room and back into the hall. 

She wrung her hands together before coming to a decision. 

“Kreacher.” She called softly and not a second later the elf in question appeared with a crack before her. 

“Miss Granger.” Kreacher said, bowing his head slightly in greeting. 

She was so thrown at the exceedingly polite address that it took Kreacher clearing his throat for her to focus enough to make her request. 

“Yes.” she shook her head as though to clear it before giving a warm smile to the elf. “Kreacher I wondered if you wouldn’t mind doing something for me.” 

He inclined his head to study her. 

“If Miss needs Kreacher to do something than she needs to ask what it is first.” he answered diplomatically. 

“I’d like for you to watch Draco.” 

Kreacher flashed her a confused look. 

“I left him to rest and I want to make sure he does get it.” she said. She looked away, suddenly overcome with great guilt at her last request. “I’d like to know if he tries to leave Grimmauld.” 

She chanced a look at Kreacher, who was regarding her as if she were some fascinating new puzzle he didn’t quite understand. 

He seemed to recognize the enormity of the request as well as the meaning behind her vague wording. He nodded to her before bowing. 

“Kreacher wills do it Miss Granger.” 

“Thank you Kreacher.” she said with a forced smile. 

The elf nodded once more before disapparating. 

She sighed, shedding her coat before tiredly leaning against the wall in the hall. 

She could use another muggle cigarette right about now. Her anxiety and guilt were threatening to drown her. 

It was a moment later that she felt another presence join her and somehow she didn’t have to look up to know who it was. 

Tonks eyed the jacket in her hand before sweeping her inquisitive gaze to the flush of her face. 

She noticed, with a start, that Tonks had a variation of those same eyes...the Black family eyes, only hers were bright, clear, and full of much more blue than the storm gray that her cousin bore. 

It was such a paradox really. He looked like he could hold the force of a winter’s storm in his eyes whilst other times it was like they were ablaze; remnant of the heated ash that was left after the flame.

An even greater irony when attributed to him personally.

The icy prince whose first memory was of burning.

She shuddered visibly at the thought. 

“What happened?” Tonks finally said. 

“We left for some things.” She said carefully before morphing her face into a defiant and closed off expression, “He was going with or without me.” 

Tonks nodded, not surprised at her declaration in the slightest. 

“Did the others notice?” She hesitantly asked.

Tonks shook her head. “I’ve been fielding questions when I noticed the two of you gone, but for the most part everyone’s been busy.” Tonks’s face hardened, and for a moment Hermione feared Tonks’s anger. 

This woman was a trained Auror no matter how her normally happy and caring personality overshadowed it. 

“With what?” She managed. 

“They instituted a Muggleborn Registration law.” Tonks said with disgust, “And Dad’s been...he wants to leave. Go into hiding. Mum’s publically known and...he thinks it would be safer, but…” Tonks placed a shaky hand at her abdomen and Hermione felt her heart shatter for what surely must be the millionth time in the past month. 

Tonks seemed to notice her unconscious action and shot her a weak grin, keeping her hand firmly on her stomach. 

“I suppose you know about this then.” She laughed hollowly. 

She resisted the urge to wince. 

She nodded, “Congratulations.” 

Tonks looked at her before she seemed to come to some decision based on what she saw.   
“Thank you.” she said quietly, “At least you’re not pretending when you say it. Most people have just looked at me with overwhelming pity.” 

Hermione bit her lip before dropping her gaze to the hard wooden floors of the house, studying the smooth way the boards seemed to fit right together. 

“Well...there has to be life after this right? We have to have some way to hope.” 

“Exactly.” Tonks whispered, forcing Hermione to bring her gaze up to meet the other witch’s. 

They stood silently then, each one of them lost in their own thoughts and worries. 

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Tonks finally said after a moment. 

She winced, clasping her hands tight together.

“I think Mrs. Malfoy might be in trouble.” 

Tonks’s breath hitched. 

“Tell me everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you all think!


End file.
